Boring Canseco Ejections Have the Most Awesome Soundtracks

Written by Brandon Stroud / 06.27.11

The actual plot of this video, according to the YouTube description:

Jose Canseco gets pissed at umpire, gets ejected from game, then brother Ozzie comes out and he gets ejected from the game, couldn’t tell why, but sign language says it pretty well.

The plot of the video according to me:


Somebody starts playing “Mambo Number 5″ by Lou Bega at the San Fernando Valley Skateboard Monsterz park (or wherever Canseco hangs around now) and Jose gets pissed and confronts an umpire about it. Jose thinks the choice of music is “bullsh**”, and starts screaming it over and over until he’s ejected. This makes him angry, so “Rock Me Like a Hurricane” starts playing to sort of illustrate his anger and everybody gets ejected.

And I mean, who can blame him? If I had to listen to the entirety of Mambo Number 5 in 2011 I’d flip out and start screaming bullsh** at people, too. Of course I didn’t do horse tranq and uppers for two decades like Jose, so it probably would’ve been limited to me poking my head out of the dugout and saying “Jesus, can somebody turn that off?” to nobody in particular.

Part of me really wants to see Ozzie Guillen get thrown out of a game to “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba now.

[H/T We the West]

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The Dugout: Goofus and Gallant

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.30.11

David Eckstein

David Eckstein is living the dream. Despite showing no obvious talent for baseball and being the size of a petite woman, Eck spent ten years in the Major Leagues, won two World Series championships, and somehow (according to Wikipedia) got a grown woman to sleep with David Eckstein. After a career of doing the impossible, he’s taking on a new goal: convincing people that baseball players can be decent human beings.

The Eckstein family is really into donating kidneys, and David is next on the list. He hasn’t officially retired, either, which means that he could show up on the Astros or the Marlins or whoever this season with only one operable kidney, hitting .270 and stealing 11-ish bases like nobody else possibly could.

Today’s Dugout is in tribute to a loving man who never stopped being kind of okay and trying really hard.

Read the rest of this entry »

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