A lot of people think that UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones and I are a lot alike, and they’re mostly right. The only real difference between us is that when he breaks his toe in an absurdly graphic manner, he still wins his fight, celebrates with a pizza and energy drink and then goes to the hospital for surgery, while I scream like a cat giving birth and run around in circles for 5 minutes. And that’s just when he breaks his toe. But other than that, the champ and I are practically the same person.

Anyway, in case you were unable to join us for another one of our award-winning UFC live discussions – this one took home 3rd place at the Broward County Fair – Jones indeed defended his title with a first round TKO over Chael Sonnen, despite the fact that he fractured his toe and you could totally see the bone sticking out of the skin. And I don’t normally post images and GIFs of such graphic nature, but good Lord, people. I just can’t look away.

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This week’s celebration of the world’s greatest month-long religious holiday, Spring Break, takes a step back from watching women embarrass themselves and focuses on the age-old tradition of bros being bros. For this classic moment, we travel all the way back in time to 2012, when two high school bros got a crash course in righteousness on a pier in beautiful Rockport, Texas.

Timmy “Porkchop” McElroy was no stranger to feeling left out. The backup right guard on the Alamo Heights football team, Timmy has long lived in his older brother’s shadow, as the state football trophies spilled over into his bedroom before he even knew how to wear a cup. Yep, life was good for Texas football star David “Cannon” McElroy III, as he was able to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and that included throwing insane high school Spring Break parties with his bros at the beach in Rockport.

Well, 2012 was going to be the year of the Porkchop, and he didn’t care what anyone said. Alamo’s starting RG punctured his urethra after accepting a challenge to jump over the barbed wire fence at Buck Farble’s cattle ranch, so Timmy was going to be starting for the first time in his life, and he was going to use that opportunity to show his parents – oil corporation attorney David McElroy II and Clarabell McElroy, a former three-time Miss Texas runner-up – that he could make them proud, too.

But first… a little celebration with the boys.

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I try to keep my Orlando Magic homerisms to a minimum around these parts because people complain about it, but one of the greatest moments of my life as a sports fan came this summer when the Magic got the Philadelphia 76ers to take Jason Richardson. That’s not a knock on the 6ers, by any means. My beef was always with Otis Smith for giving J-Rich that stupid 4-year deal before last season, but the rumor was that Smith only did it because Dwight Howard told him to. This is just my roundabout way of saying that the Magic now have two more wins than I expected them to have before December.

That said, I don’t have any hard feelings toward J-Rich, because it’s not his fault that Otis loved handing out horrible contracts to the point that the Magic had to give away the best center in the game to any team that was willing to take on Chris Duhon’s ridiculous contract. So it sucks that Richardson was injured in the opening minutes of last night’s 6ers loss against the red hot New York Knicks.

The Knicks were paced by Carmelo Anthony’s 27 points, but the big highlight was Richardson spraining his ankle after he stepped on a camera man’s foot early in the game. And you can bet Richardson wasn’t too happy about it.

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