Several dozen people were racing motorcycles at 140 mph on a track in Rome with tight turns, and shockingly, two people — Max Biaggi and Kenan Sufuolu — bumped into each other.  Then they regained control of their respective bikes and said, “Phew!  That was a close one!”

Naw just kidding.  Their motorcycles flipped along the ground, and they went flying through the air at about one-fifth the speed of sound before sliding and rolling along pavement.  And I know what you’re asking: Are they dead? Are they dead?  Huh?  Huh huh huh?

Biaggi clipped the back of Troy Corser, causing him to high-side and collect Kenan Sofuoglu. Despite the high-speed impact, Biaggi was nonetheless able to walk away from the smash unharmed.

Man, that’s disappointing.  Although I, for one, see this as a good excuse to clip a motorcyclist the next time they drive between lanes when I’m stopped in traffic.  Assholes.

[The Sporting Blog]

All right, news cycle: I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.  But you better start churning out some athlete arrests and sexy coaching scandals and cheerleader pudding wrestling leagues, or I’m going to be forced to do an image gallery of Marisa Miller wearing thigh-highs.

…

Nothing, eh?  All right, FINE.  Then Marisa Miller pictures it shall be.  She has a bike, you see.  Thus, it is relevant to the world of sports.  In fact, a recent study conducted by my boner found her to be the most compelling figure in the cycling world.  Even bigger than that one guy.  You know, whatshisface.  White guy, always riding a bike?

[NS4W -- note: link has NSFW ads]

A Montana teacher suffered some cuts and bruises but was otherwise okay after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.

Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn’t have time to stop and T-boned the bruin.

He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear’s back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.

The bear rolled over Litz’s head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road.

A funnier thing would have been if the bear had been riding the bicycle.  I saw that at the circus when I was young.  Mom and Dad cleaned the elephant cage, and I sold tickets.

(Photo: AP/Michael Gallacher, “Ouch my spleen”)

Apparently tired of jet-setting around and nailing whichever hot young Hollyood tail is presented to him (like Jake Gyllenhaal or Matthew McConaughey), Lance Armstrong will return to cycling for the 2009 Tour de France.  He will be 37.

But the man left the sport after beating cancer and then winning seven straight Tours without ever getting busted for doping — despite rumors to the contrary.  It was the perfect ending.  Why would he return now?  (Don’t say revenge don’t say revenge don’t say revenge…)

Armstrong told Vanity Fair that “revenge” against those who think he used performance-enhancing drugs is part of his motivation.

Don’t get me wrong, I think revenge is absolutely the best reason to do anything, but he’s placed himself in a situation where anything less than a victory is a complete failure.  That kind of pressure is partly why my parents and I no longer speak.  Although why they wanted me to win the Tour de France, I have no idea.

Rick Lee is an Australian cycling coach who is charged with raping a 15-year-old girl in Pennsylvania. Well, rape, plus a list of charges that reads like my last weekend in Las Vegas:

Lee is charged with rape, statutory rape, burglary, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, sexual assault, aggravated indecent assault, indecent assault and indecent exposure.

Interestingly, Lee’s attorney unveiled some interesting evidence about the victim:

During cross examination, she admitted to setting up [an] on-line profile where she claimed to be 18, a nurse as well as a student at Penn State University studying to be a brain surgeon.

Ah, finally I have an answer to the riddle that I couldn’t solve!  “What’s sexier than an 18-year-old undergrad nurse?” A 15-year-old pretending to be one.

At first glimpse this mountain biking face plant doesn't appear to be that spectacular.  But the appearance of a bloody face at the :16 mark improves things dramatically, while the slow-motion scream in agony at the end of the video is easily the highlight.  It's like a surprisingly smooth finish to a wine that you thought was too young at first.  Does anyone get that metaphor?  No?  Well then, it's like a nice Pabst chaser after a shot of El Chico.  There.  Adjusted to fit the demographic.

(thanks to Buck)