Or, “Capped teeth”. Maybe, “talk about a mug shot!”

In a video that is equal parts awesome and cringeworthy, Caps center Mathieu Perreault scores an otherwise unremarkable goal during Wednesday night’s game against the Ottawa Senators by deflecting the puck into the net with his mouth. Specifically with his tongue. Specifically, what?

“My tongue was out, so it bounced off my tongue and in the net,” Perreault said. “These things happen when you go to the net. Not the way you want to get goals, but he hit me in the face and it went in.”

This is like a gritty re-imagining of Untamed Heart, where Christian Slater catches a hockey puck in mid-air with his teeth and just instantly dies.

[h/t SB Nation Hockey]

This is Jason Spezza of the Ottowa Senators, and he was pretty impressed with himself after this shootout goal against Carolina. But dear Mother of Pearl, nobody should ever stick a microphone in this guy’s face ever again. That laugh sounds like something that should be coming out a bad Dan Ackroyd character. Although, putting it like that suggests that there actually was a good Dan Ackroyd character, which there wasn’t. Actually, Doctor Detroit was kinda good. Kinda. See for yourself after the jump. SITE NEWS: Power Rankings and Weekend Picks will be a bit late tonight. Read the rest of this entry »

I guess the Sabers and Senators have some kind of intense rivalry, because even as physical as hockey is, you usually don’t see one player bite another, as Jarkko Ruutu — if that is his real name — did to Andrew Peters’s hand last night. From Sabres Edge:

Peters, one of the most gregarious Sabres, had the media in stitches by telling us it was his “texting thumb” that took the bite. “I’m cut pretty good,” he said. “I won’t be able to text message anyone. Now I actually have to talk to people which is kind of a bummer because I hate talking on the phone.”

Man, he’s got a point there. I f’n HATE talking on the phone.  And talking to people in person.  And any kind of instant messaging. And other people in general. I bet if I didn’t dislike everyone on the planet so much, Peters and I might get along.

Yeah… I wasn’t really cut out for working in an office. People get touchy about getting glared at with burning hatred. “What, why am I fired? I didn’t even tell you how much I hated you.”

win their eighth straight game and improve to 13-1-0 and 26 points in the standings, the best start in NHL history after 14 games.  But don't be too impressed: the previous record of 25 points was set in 2005 and tied last year, so it's not like this record is gonna be around forever.  Martin Gerber had 30 saves, and five different players scored for the Sens as they continue to rinse the bad Duck taste out of their mouths from last year's Stanley Cup Finals.

In related site news, I'm hereby retiring the "Hoc-key?" joke.  Its shelf life has long since expired, and its re-use isn't doing anything besides stinking up the kitchen and pissing off the hockey fans — and there are a solid five or six of them whose input I appreciate.  So, from here on out, I might not get around to hockey every day, but when I do, I promise to give it at least the same half-interested disdain that I give the NBA.

College hoops, however, can still go suck a cock until March. 

FYI – Luke Richardson of the Ottawa Senators is 38 and the chump he KOs (Brandon Dubinsky) is 21:

Everyone at With Leather headquarters was relieved when the Chief's alma mater won in double-overtime on Saturday, but if the score of Sunday Night Football remains the same, he's going to be dropping interns and fact-checkers like Oggy Oglethorpe.  At least he'll have that heavenly Highlands aroma. -KD

The Stanley Cup Finals continued last night, as the Senators fell to the Duckzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Listen, hockey, I want to like you.  I really do.  But it's just not working out.  It's not you; it's me.  So I'll make this quick: here's the game recap, and some hockey fans will certainly have fun things to say in the comments.  And I'll be sure to do another post about this fine sport when those big men skate around with the shiny old trophy. 

And now, back to surfing for porn.  Or, as the Internet kids call it, "pr0n."  Mmmm… prawns.

(Photo credit: Getty Images)