What’s better than championship sports anthems? Championship sports anthems recorded in round 2 of the playoffs! Meet ‘Pesky Back,’ the Ottawa Senators-themed parody of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Sexy Back.’ Nothing says “we’re the team for this year” quite like a song from 2006!

Here is another ditty… The folks at CTV Morning Live Ottawa do another video to help cheer on the Ottawa Senators as they take on the Pittsburgh Penguins in Round Two of the 2013 Stanley Cup Playoffs!

Here is the song. I apologize in advance.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is what happens when you get hit and your face makes a beeline for the ice.

The guy in an Olympic-sized pool of his own blood is Lars Eller of the Montreal Canadiens. He was minding his own business when Ottawa’s Eric Gryba decided to paint a beautiful portrait on the ice in the medium of broken nose. He also used a touch of “concussion” and heavy strokes of “making a dude faceplant against his will.”

Here’s a fairly graphic clip of the hit, courtesy of Hockey Video HD, assuming you’d like to see the blood actually leaving his face.

Read the rest of this entry »

I also would’ve accepted, “Milan Michalek Better Chalek Himself Before He Wrecks Himself”. Or, you know, a comedy sports blog headline that doesn’t reference hip-hop from 20 years ago.

Regardless, here’s a clip of Milan Michalek — formerly of the Ottawa Senators, currently of the Czech league’s Ceske Budejovice — shoving goalie/extraneous punctuation master Tomáš Závorka in the back of the head and getting straight-up suplexed for his efforts by Závorka’s teammate David Zucker. It’s the kind of exaggerated fight finish that hockey has in the movies, and not the “we both lost our balance and kinda fell over to the side” thing from real life.

Check out the clip below.

Read the rest of this entry »

Or, “Capped teeth”. Maybe, “talk about a mug shot!”

In a video that is equal parts awesome and cringeworthy, Caps center Mathieu Perreault scores an otherwise unremarkable goal during Wednesday night’s game against the Ottawa Senators by deflecting the puck into the net with his mouth. Specifically with his tongue. Specifically, what?

“My tongue was out, so it bounced off my tongue and in the net,” Perreault said. “These things happen when you go to the net. Not the way you want to get goals, but he hit me in the face and it went in.”

This is like a gritty re-imagining of Untamed Heart, where Christian Slater catches a hockey puck in mid-air with his teeth and just instantly dies.

[h/t SB Nation Hockey]

This is Jason Spezza of the Ottowa Senators, and he was pretty impressed with himself after this shootout goal against Carolina. But dear Mother of Pearl, nobody should ever stick a microphone in this guy’s face ever again. That laugh sounds like something that should be coming out a bad Dan Ackroyd character. Although, putting it like that suggests that there actually was a good Dan Ackroyd character, which there wasn’t. Actually, Doctor Detroit was kinda good. Kinda. See for yourself after the jump. SITE NEWS: Power Rankings and Weekend Picks will be a bit late tonight. Read the rest of this entry »

I guess the Sabers and Senators have some kind of intense rivalry, because even as physical as hockey is, you usually don’t see one player bite another, as Jarkko Ruutu — if that is his real name — did to Andrew Peters’s hand last night. From Sabres Edge:

Peters, one of the most gregarious Sabres, had the media in stitches by telling us it was his “texting thumb” that took the bite. “I’m cut pretty good,” he said. “I won’t be able to text message anyone. Now I actually have to talk to people which is kind of a bummer because I hate talking on the phone.”

Man, he’s got a point there. I f’n HATE talking on the phone.  And talking to people in person.  And any kind of instant messaging. And other people in general. I bet if I didn’t dislike everyone on the planet so much, Peters and I might get along.

Yeah… I wasn’t really cut out for working in an office. People get touchy about getting glared at with burning hatred. “What, why am I fired? I didn’t even tell you how much I hated you.”