A certain celebrity tabloid blog, if you will, gave us this footage of Shaquille O’Neal facing off against Oscar De La Hoya for Shaq’s new TV show, “Shaq Something-or-other,” who’s actually 5-feet-10-inches tall, but looks like an anorexic Oompah-Loompah next to the Man of Stealing Food From Ben Roethlisberger. C’mon, think about how much FATTER Big Ben would have been if he wasn’t hanging out with Shaq for five days. Ben’s like the white Elvis Presley. Wait, Elvis was white. via.
One of the biggest names in boxing announced his retirement yesterday. Oscar De La Hoya, he of the 10 world championships, the Olympic gold medal, and seemingly countless millions generated in revenue, held a press conference in downtown Los Angeles and announced to the world that he would fight no more. The decision came in part to his TKO defeat at the hands of Manny Pacquiao, pointed to by many as evidence that De La Hoya could no longer compete at a world-class level.
“The last four months have been very difficult for me,” De La Hoya said. “I’m announcing my retirement because this is what I’ve done since I was five years old.
“When I can’t do it anymore, when I can’t compete at the highest level, it’s not fair. It is not fair to me and it’s not fair to the fans. I have come to the conclusion that it’s over. It’s over inside the ring for me.” |Martin Rogers/Y! Sports|
De La Hoya will continue to stay involved with Golden Boy Promotions, the promotion company involved in both boxing and mixed martial arts. And just like that, half of all the active boxers I’ve ever heard of are retired. It’s a sad day…not for me, but I guess for people that like boxing. Especially sad, anyway.
The occasionally masturbatory Brandon M. points out that Oscar De La Hoya's niece, reality TV's Daisy De La Hoya, has made it to the final six "contestants" on the VH-1 television program, Rock of Love 2 [The Revenge! --GEd]. For those unfamiliar with the show, it's hosted by Poison's Bret Michaels and it's pretty much the greatest scam ever.
Twenty lucky ladies will get their chance for an All-Access pass to Bret Michaels' heart and to share in all his superstar lifestyle…The girls who best meet Bret's needs shall be rewarded with exclusive gifts, dates and travels worthy of a music superstar. Over several weeks, Bret will offer the women who rock his world VIP passes allowing them to remain in his home - and his heart. The women who don't will be sent packing. Competition will be ferocious - for in the end only one lady will walk away a true Rock Star Girlfriend.
Rock Star Girlfriend? And he made an entire show out of this? And then managed a second season?! Where's the girl that won the first show? Probably in a dumpster in Kansas City somewhere. Tip of the bandanna to you, Mr. Michaels. If there's anything more American than rock n' roll, it's treating dumb, beautiful women like the absolute trash they aspire to be.
Uber-company AEG is looking to sell one of its two MLS teams — it owns the the LA Galaxy and the Houston Dynamo — and obviously the one with David Beckham is more valuable than the one that just won its second consecutive championship. So the Dynamo may soon be up for sale, and looky-looky who might buy them:
Boxer Oscar De La Hoya is interested in buying the Dynamo with his company Golden Boy Productions. Representatives of the company have visited Houston, attended games and are very impressed with the way the franchise is operated along with how the team has played.
De La Hoya expressed some concern that the nearest Victoria's Secret is a good fifteen minutes away from the stadium, but team officials stressed that Russian call girls can bring plenty of lingerie with them to the owner's box. Heh… "owner's box."
I'm not quite sure how this works, but a Russian stripper — the one who helped dress up Oscar de la Hoya in women's underwear, then took photos of him, then sold those photos TO newspapers — is now suing de la Hoya. For, um… yeah I don't understand the court system at all.
[Milana] Dravnel's "image has been tarnished, and [she] was portrayed as a liar to the press," Dravnel's attorney, Salvatore Strazzullo, wrote in the lawsuit, filed in New York County…
Dravnel's attorney said she is "one of the most beautiful women in modeling, she's well worth her weight in gold. But now she's out of work, she's like kryptonite, everyone thinks she's a fraud and a basic fabricator. So we want a public apology from De La Hoya, and monetary damages." The lawsuit said Dravnel has "suffered from increased, severe levels of stress, anxiety and depression" and "has been unable to work since the incident."
Man, it's terrible when a girl who got work photographing famous dudes in women's underwear can't get work photographing famous dudes in women's underwear because she sold photographs of famous dudes in women's underwear. I hope she takes him for everything he's got, what with the way he betrayed her trust and smeared her good public image.
"Sugar" Shane Mosley has been accused of using BALCO's "the cream" and "the clear" before a 2003 victory over Oscar De La Hoya:
Mosley on Friday confirmed that he had unknowingly taken some banned substances . . . "Unknowingly, yes, some of the substances they are talking about, were being used as part of the workouts," Mosley told ESPN.com. "I didn't know what the hell it was. I didn't know anything about that stuff. It was something given to me, pushed up on me. I'm a health freak-type of guy. I like to have everything organic, natural."
Public defenders are always incredulous when I tell them this right before the bond hearing, but just like Mr. Mosley, sometimes I can't be sure what I'm ingesting, injecting or inhaling. It could be grain alcohol, or smack, or spirit of turpentine - I just don't know. When you're at a soiree where most of the party-goers are packing heat, it's best not be rude. And you know, when in Rome . . . Anyway, the people in charge should change the name of "the clear" to "the sugar" in honor of Shane. That way, we can discreetly ask for cream and sugar in our beverages at the local gym to achieve more robust physiques. Or, you could ask for whatever Oscar De La Hoya is taking to achieve a standing ovation at the local female impersonator club after your rendition of "If I Could Turn Back Time". -KD
