Dwight Howard wants to play for the Brooklyn Nets. We know this very well by now, and it’s hardly breaking news anymore, despite what any ESPN experts want to claim. And that’s fine, he’s a big boy and can play wherever he pleases, as soon as his contract with the Orlando Magic is up. That would have been yesterday, too, if Howard hadn’t pulled his bizarre series of switcharoos before this past season’s trade deadline, ultimately agreeing to sign his one-year extension.

But yesterday it was reported that Howard has not only demanded to be traded, but he also reached out to the NBA Players Association to help him force his way out of Orlando, because – as ESPN reported – he was being blackmailed by the team. Now Howard, who has been very quiet since his back surgery in Los Angeles, is speaking out. Sort of. Basically, he’s clarifying himself and then returning to secrecy.

Howard also denied an ESPN report that he had told people Orlando Magic officials had “blackmailed” him into forgoing the early termination option on his contract that ultimately cost him his free agency this summer.

“I never used the word blackmail in reference to any of my dealings with the Magic,” Howard said. “I never said that. It’s defamatory and it’s inaccurate. I know what blackmail means and any report that I used the term incorrectly is inaccurate.” (Via Yahoo!)

Here’s what I don’t get – Howard had to have watched “The Decision” and witnessed the backlash of fury and scorn that LeBron James went through. So how could he have let this all happen? There have been whispers of Howard making comments like, “If only people knew what I was going through” and he’s right, we don’t. Maybe tell us? Fill us in just a little so every basketball fan on the planet doesn’t think you’re the biggest dick in the history of the league.

Or we could just read this story about Howard and his best friend Jameer Nelson having to be separated at a Magic practice last season, and that’s how we can paint our portrait of the league’s best center. Whatever he wants.

I’m still planning to wait until tomorrow to unleash my incredible, unparalleled NBA Draft Preview on your asses, but I’m pretty happy that the Houston Rockets have finally stirred the pot and created some excitement for us fans of franchises that blow. Apparently the Rockets are hellbent on wrangling as many first round draft picks as they can, and they took one step closer to fruition of their diabolical plan today when they shipped Chase Budinger to the Minnesota Timberwolves for the No. 18 pick.

This was perhaps the best response I saw regarding that trade.

Now the Rockets have the 14th, 16th, and 18th picks in Thursday night’s draft, and it’s no secret at all that they covet disgruntled drama queen Dwight Howard, who may or may not have once again told the Orlando Magic that he wants to be traded to the Brooklyn Nets. So are those three picks enough to get Howard?

Houston’s first-round assets will create an intriguing proposition for the Magic and their new general manager, Rob Hennigan. Just a week into his job, Hennigan will be faced with his first major player-personnel decision.

The Magic have maintained they don’t want to go through another season like they just did, when the drama surrounding Howard and his future dominated Orlando’s every move. Multiple first-round picks might be the enticing offer Orlando needs to break free from Howard. (Via USA Today)

It should be noted that aside from a few rumblings about “sources close to Howard”, Howard is still recovering from back surgery and hasn’t talked to anybody about his future since the Stan Van Gundy mess, when he had TMZ on speed dial. In fact, as far as anyone knows, Howard hasn’t even had contact with new Magic GM Rob Hennigan yet.

But while the Miami Heat celebrate and Anthony Davis trademarks his eyebrows in time to be called by the New Orleans Hornets, all we’ve got are rumors. So let’s entertain this one a little further…

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When Orlando Magic and eventual Brooklyn Nets center Dwight Howard agreed to sign his one-year extension to “let the Magic try to keep him”, a lot of people were pissed off at Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade when he made fun of Howard on Twitter for his overzealous use of the word “loyalty”. But bless their silly hearts, Magic fans – *points to self, frowns* – believed that Howard really was giving his team a shot until they eventually learned that he only signed the deal to avoid a deadline trade to the Los Angeles Lakers. Loyalty indeed.

So imagine the response of the Internets yesterday when people revealed that Adidas and the NBA have been selling a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t-shirt all along. Yikes, talk about ironic. Even hipsters have a hard time purchasing that t-shirt online, donating it to the Goodwill and then begrudgingly buying it after they “find it” a few days later. But this shirt got me thinking: “What other absurd shirts could the NBA be pumping out to bilk devoted fans out of their hard-earned cash?”

*scratches spot on chin where hair would grow if he could grow facial hair, fires up Photoshop*

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As we discussed yesterday, people were a bit perplexed when TNT NBA analyst Shaquille O’Neal was suddenly mentioned as a candidate for the vacant Orlando Magic GM position, because he’d spent the last decade completely pissing all over the franchise that drafted him No. 1 overall in 1992. Eventually, though, it made perfect sense when it was revealed that Shaq was being considered for the job because Shaq told everyone that, because he likes when everyone talks about him.

But Shaq tied up all the loose ends yesterday when he released a statement about how even though he told everyone he was interested in the Magic GM job, he wasn’t interested in the Magic GM job, adding: “I’m Shaq. Shaq Shaq Shaq.”

“When I first heard about the vacancy for the Orlando Magic general manager position, I was clearly intrigued. I was drafted by the Magic, I have a great love for the franchise, and I have made the city of Orlando my home. Additionally, I have great admiration and respect for the DeVos family. However, this is not a job I have an interest in pursuing. I feel very fortunate to be with TNT and to have the best job in sports. I look forward to many more years with Charles, Kenny and E.J. I wish the best for the Magic and I am confident that they will select a great GM and coach.” (Via Pro Basketball Talk)

The truth is, though, that Diesel’s schedule is just way too booked up right now. As you can see from the banner image – via The Superficial – Shaq is back to what he does best – making terrible movies. He’s currently filming the Happy Madison production Grown Ups 2, because all of the people who paid to see the first Grown Ups (my pick for Worst Film of 2010) said the same thing: “It was terrible, sure, but I feel like they could have made it worse.”

And because I’m in a retro flashback mood today, I’ve included a very important and relevant video after the jump.

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Have you heard the one about the superstar free agent center who left his team, citing myriad problems within the organization as well as his desire to leave behind a “small pond” market for stardom, and then spent the next decade constantly ripping that team at any chance he got for no good reason, ultimately focusing on its new superstar center, who admired and idolized him enough that he used the same nickname, with an inexplicable vitriol that was later passed off as “all in good fun”, eventually finding himself out of the media spotlight when his career ended, only to use that once-again-hurting franchise to make people talk about him, because, hey, what’s a river of bad blood beneath a burned bridge anyway?

*exhales*

Of course you haven’t, because it won’t happen. It can’t happen. Can it?

The Orlando Magic is set to meet with former star Shaquille O’Neal about the team’s vacant general manager position next week, ESPN reported Wednesday, citing sources.

O’Neal, who spent his first four NBA seasons in Orlando, would be an odd choice, given he has no front-office experience and has had a longstanding feud with Magic superstar Dwight Howard. (Via Fox Sports)

Yeah, about this… no. Not gonna happen, folks. You don’t “mutually agree” to let a guy who was terrible at his job walk away, only to bring in a guy who has not only never done that job come but has spent the length of Dwight Howard’s career criticizing him and calling him names. Because that would clearly make Howard stay.

On the other hand, it’s the Magic, so we should expect to hear the announcement any minute now. And he better make that panda his assistant GM.

I think we all need to take a seat, maybe form a circle and just relax for a few minutes. We get a little bit too crazy about sports sometimes, and we tend to overreact toward athletes and media analysts for their decisions and/or opinions. I mean, take Twitter, for example. Have you seen the horrible verbal venom that is spewed at famous people on that “social media” site on a daily basis? Hell, I’m as guilty as the next guy for making cracks at some athletes, but I’m talking about the violent threats.

It’s really getting out of hand, and it’s been spilling out into our stadiums and arenas now, ruining the idea of fun competition for everyone. What the hell’s the point of going to a game or a bar these days if you constantly have to look over your shoulder and wonder if someone is about to stab you? Sports are supposed to take our minds off the really sh*tty things in life and provide hope and inspiration. Instead, we have people slaughtering each other in the streets.

Everybody calm down and let’s remember why we’re here in the first place… to hope that the other team loses and pray for people to be fired. That’s what sports are all about, dang it.

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