If The Pope has done nothing else to help the world, he’s gotten Dick Vitale to shut up. Temporarily.

The legendary sportscaster and professional caps-lock yeller had a chance to briefly meet and greet Pope Benedict XVI on Tuesday while on vacation in Italy, and as a man of faith he seemed so legitimately excited about it I can only make so much fun. Although he does type exactly like he talks.

Another tweet added “Can’t wait 4 the photos taken by the Pope’s staff- in awe as we made small talk .Asked his Holiness to pray 4 peace in our world & 4 my fam.” I would’ve loved to listen in on that conversation. Vitale goes UNBELIEVABLE BABY and kisses the Pope’s ring, then tells him he wants world peace. The Pope sorta scratches his head and goes “sh**, okay, don’t know why I didn’t think of that”. He should’ve asked the Pope what he thinks Rex Ryan’s tattoo means.

Of course, the religious experience wasn’t enough to change Dick’s human nature, and within a few hours he was back to his old self, sharing Italian vacation stories only Dick Vitale could find interesting.

That wouldn’t have anything to do with you just hanging out with the Pope, would it?

[via Twitter]

It sorta looks like somebody broke in and stole our furniture, but at least we don’t have an “under construction” gif at the top of the page anywhere. Copy pasta’d liberally from Mr. Matt Ufford:

As with most layout changes, there are some things to like and some things not to like, but for the most part the changes are intended to improve the user experience. In the end, this is still gonna be the same website, but if you’re super-pissed off about it, please send constructive hate mail to info@uproxx.com.

We are under construction, though, so bless this mess.

Sports

NFL Teams Be Transactin’ - Hey look! The NFL got its act together and now everybody’s doing things. Let’s keep up this momentum and do things for the rest of the season. That would be awesome! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Talking Trades: 5 Deadline Deals That Should Go Down - It’s not the coolest thing to admit, but I’m gonna go ahead and come out as the guy who would be super excited if David Wright ended up in Cleveland. Also, BJ Upton. And Beltran. Let’s go Tribe! [Smoking Section]

The Citi Field Stormer: A Celebration of Bad Planning - He still planned better than the dude in the wedding dress, because he planned to not be a dude in a wedding dress. [SBN]

Voelker TKOs Bowling - This title is pretty misleading. I thought this was going to be a new episode of Jenn Sterger’s show. [Cagewriter]

With Leather

The Dugout: Crooked Neck Club - I should just link to everything, because it all looks so fresh and new. Don’t miss yesterday’s Dugout, which is about surface piercings, doodoo and “Laverne & Shirley”. I’m old. And weird. [The Dugout]

Unbreak My Heart: A Retrospective of Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari - You know you’re a terrible quarterback when your reality show girlfriend seems too good for you. [With Leather]

Christianity Is Brought To You With Limited Commercial Interruption, By Ford™ - The worst pre-race prayer ever, dressed up as the “best prayer ever” and championed as cool by Christians because “God should be awesome”. No he shouldn’t, Spuds McKenzie should be awesome. God should be completely different. [With Leather]

We Hate This Soccer Guy Because He’s Black! - I mean, WE don’t, but soccer fans sure do. Also, big ups to the commenter who said they clicked this article thinking it was going to be about Nintendo, because that was the entire headline joke. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Katy Perry’s Smurftastic Smurf Premierer Mini-Dress - Witness the beginning of the end for Katy Perry, as she stops looking like the busty Zooey Deschanel and starts looking like a busty Hilary Burton. Perez Hilton should’ve worn the same thing, but with Snagglepuss on the front. [FARK]

Comic-Con Photo Diary Part 2 - I feel like a Comic-Con diary could be accomplished in one paragraph. “Saw some kinda hot girls dressed like things, awkwardly walked past a comic book artist/writer/creator I didn’t recognize or want to talk to, gave Xander 40 bucks to take a picture with me.” Is there more to it than that? [Film Drunk]

Awesome and Ridiculous San Diego Comic-Con Cosplay - None of these people are as awesome or ridiculous as my last two Halloween costumes, Hooded Justice and The Peculiar Purple Pie-Man of Porcupine Peak. I want to be Longshot this year, but do you know how hard it is to find a vegan leather bodysuit? [Gamma Squad]

Meme Watch: LOLSummer69 Thinks Tumblr Has Always Wanted to See Them Naked - Real talk: I want to see everybody naked. [UPROXX]

As a founding member of the Church of Blake Lively’s Chest, I’m a man who doesn’t like to talk too much about religion since it’s such a polarizing subject. But I do appreciate anything that helps spread positive messages to America’s youth, especially when so many kids are up to no good and always listening to the hip hop music and taking the weed. I also love talking about professional wrestling, and it just so happens that the people behind the Christian Wrestling Federation have been mixing action-packed wrasslin’ with messages of love and peace.

Because nothing says love and peace like a dropkick from the top turn buckle followed by a DDT into a camel clutch. After the jump, check out CWF founder Rob “Jesus Freak” Vaughn and his mission statement for his federation…

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A soccer match meant to promote inter-religion harmony in Oslo was canceled when Muslim clerics refused to take the field with a Lutheran priest who is female.  Which is strange, because imams are usually so progressive and understanding.

The imams said physical contact with women would be inappropriate, NRK public television said, and the Norwegian Christians refused a proposal of a male-only clash. The match was to have followed talks meant to build bridges between faiths in Norway.

"Some say that bodily contact is the problem. It leads to special feelings that can lead to something forbidden," imam Senaid Kobilica told NRK public television in explanation.

If you ask me, the Muslims totally did the right thing here.  Once you let women on the soccer field, it's only a matter of time before they start demanding equal rights or — even worse — forcing contemporary notions from the 16th century like chivalry on the men.  And if Muslim countries have gotten anything right in today's world, it's that women are very intelligent livestock when appropriately desexualized.  Why, you hardly have to do any work at all if you've got a woman with a strong back.