Here’s The Worst Hooters Robbery In History

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.25.13

If there’s one thing that I have little tolerance for, it’s crime. But the easiest way to push me into full on vigilante mode is to commit a criminal act against a “breastaurant”, and that’s exactly what two bros did in the wee hours of Tuesday morning last week in San Diego. Fortunately, the Hooters on Bernardo Drive in San Diego was closed and empty when two men “in their late teens or 20s” shattered the glass of the store’s front door and attempted to pull off one of the stupidest robberies you’ll ever hear of.

The driver tried to back the truck into the business, but the door opening was too narrow, Brown said. The other suspect then got a tow strap from the truck’s bed and wrapped it around the free-standing five-foot-tall juke box with the restaurant’s logo in the restaurant’s lobby, Brown said.

That suspect pushed the machine toward the doors and the driver helped get it into the truck before they drove off, Brown said. (Via ABC 10 News)

Wait, they stole the jukebox from a Hooters? Don’t they know they could have saved a lot of time and effort by just illegally downloading every Nickelback album? Actually, it turns out they’re just complete idiots.

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Peyton Manning’s Jersey Is Loved By Gangs

Written by Ashley Burns / 09.06.12

Proving once again that the Denver Broncos should have kept Tim Tebow instead of signing Peyton Manning, controversy is brewing in a Colorado town over kids wearing Manning’s bright orange No. 18 jersey to school. Officials from the Weld County School System are receiving criticism for their decision to ban Manning’s replica jersey from the halls of schools in cities like Greeley, because the No. 18 is affiliated with local gangs.

God help my collection of hilarious personalized jerseys if the Crips ever use the number 69.

A spokesperson for Weld County District 6 explained the policy has been around for more than three years and applies to the numbers 13, 14, 18, 31, 41 and 81.

“We’re Broncos fans ourselves; it has nothing to do with that. We’re just wanting to set a consistent solid, example,” said district spokesperson Roger Fiedler. (Via Fox News)

I tried to do some research and figure out why these particular numbers were so dangerous, because if Dan Brown has taught me anything, it’s that symbols are everywhere, man. So when I Googled “18” like I assume all numerologists would do when investigating something, I was very surprised at what I found…

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