There’s a lot of pride at Oregon State in their most famous graduate, That Chick Who Got Naked
After exposing Ohio State as a creampuff, USC was looking forward to cruising through its creampuffier conference schedule to the national championship game. Alas, too many creampuffs can lead to choking: in a delightful, nationally televised affair, the #1 Trojans fell to Oregon State in Corvallis, 27-21. It’s the first time a highly ranked USC has been upset by the Beavers since… uh, 2006. Wow, USC sucks.
Highly touted running back Joe McKnight managed just ten yards for the Trojans, while Jacquizz Rodgers went off for 186 and two touchdowns for the Beavers. Jacquizz’s brother James caught the other two TDs for Oregon State. I would never forgive my parents if they did something like that to me. Imagine if your brother got something nice and normal like “James,” and you got “Jacquizz.” Thanks, mom. Thanks for the years of being called “Jizz” in middle school.
With the Belotti Potty here, Oregon State — or, as I like to call it, the OSU — is obviously gearing up for the December 1st Civil War against the Dennis Dixon-less Ducks… by… urinating and defecating on them? I don't understand. Is that a bad thing? I always thought that was part of a healthy sex life.
I dunno, maybe this "Civil War" has something to do with freeing the sex slaves. And if that's the case, I need to figure out which school is the Confederacy. I can't lose my sex slaves. Each one counts as three-fifths of a person at a cut party.
After looking kinda crappy but still winning for the last couple weeks, USC finally succumbed at Oregon State on Saturday by a score of 33-31.
Who's ready for a sexual innuendo-off? Ready… go!
Yes, the Beavers really swallowed those Trojans. The Trojans, ironically, had some protection issues. The Beavers really suffocated the Trojans until late in the game: with the Trojans down 33-10 in the third, the Beavers looked like a sure thing, but any celebration was premature until John David Booty couldn't hook up for a two-point play at the end. And if a man named Booty on the Trojans can't fuck the Beavers… well, what kind of world do we live in? Cock. Balls.
