Disney Wonder Bread College Pennants Are A Thing That Happened

01.03.12 Written by Brandon


disney-wonder-bread-pennants

This gallery may not appeal to the more Hot-Cheerleaders-In-Slow-Motion-inclined members of the With Leather readership, but don’t be afraid to enjoy it, because at some point during the 1970s the Walt Disney Corporation teamed up with Wonder Bread to give away pennant stickers with loaves of bread that are literally nothing but Disney characters destroying college names with puns. Yes, that’s a sentence I’ve written.

As I see it, there are two fine ways to enjoy this:

1. Flipping through and trying to figure out which school each pennant represents, because some of them are a stretch.
2. Losing control of your neck and bashing your head against the desk in a full-body groan when you realize “Mickey Can Skate” is Michigan State, or whatever.

A third way to enjoy it is through the absurdity of the illustrations, like Cinderella doing 2,000 pounds of laundry in her ball gown or Goofy with a broken leg because you can only make so many puns about Tulane. And yes, ACC fans, here is where you learn about how Disney preappropriated your “dook” joke for Duke and made it about fowl royalty a decade or so before you were born. I kept expecting to see a Virginia Tech pennant where Shan Yu from Mulan is holding up a castrated turkey.

Note: Full credit for these goes to Disney, I guess, but credit for putting them on the Internet goes to Jason Liebig.

[h/t Disney Food Blog]

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Macedonia’s Bloodiest Slam Dunks

07.05.11 Written by Brandon

Shaquille O’Neal romanticized the image of a shattered backboard. It’s the ultimate assertion of dominance, you’d say to yourself as you dunked on an 8-foot rim or ripped a Nerf hoop off the inside of your door. Well, Shaq sort of exists outside the realm of human possibility, because when Oregon State sophomore guard Roberto Nelson ripped down the backboard he carried it to the floor on his face.

The mayhem starts at about the 2:10 mark in the video — playing in an organized game in Skopje, Macedonia, for a service-based traveling college basketball team called “Beavers Without Borders”, Nelson goes up for a dunk and shatters the sh** out of the goal, shredding his face and getting 20 stitches, all while trying to figure out how to say “I’m sorry” in Macedonian. Firstly, telling people who got those scars shattering a backboard in Macedonia is pretty awesome. Secondly, I think the paintings of Georgia O’Keeffe are Beavers Without Borders.

On a serious note, Beavers Without Borders are in Skopje is to do construction work for local families in need, and that’s a cool cause. And it gives you a great, lay-up joke about Roberto Nelson’s deconstruction skills.

[h/t Off the Bench]

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THE BEAVERS ARE #1

09.26.08 Written by Matt

There’s a lot of pride at Oregon State in their most famous graduate, That Chick Who Got Naked

After exposing Ohio State as a creampuff, USC was looking forward to cruising through its creampuffier conference schedule to the national championship game.  Alas, too many creampuffs can lead to choking: in a delightful, nationally televised affair, the #1 Trojans fell to Oregon State in Corvallis, 27-21.  It’s the first time a highly ranked USC has been upset by the Beavers since… uh, 2006.  Wow, USC sucks.

Highly touted running back Joe McKnight managed just ten yards for the Trojans, while Jacquizz Rodgers went off for 186 and two touchdowns for the Beavers.  Jacquizz’s brother James caught the other two TDs for Oregon State.  I would never forgive my parents if they did something like that to me.  Imagine if your brother got something nice and normal like “James,” and you got “Jacquizz.”  Thanks, mom.  Thanks for the years of being called “Jizz” in middle school.

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BEAVERS GET PISSY AT DUCKS

11.20.07 Written by Matt

With the Belotti Potty here, Oregon State — or, as I like to call it, the OSU — is obviously gearing up for the December 1st Civil War against the Dennis Dixon-less Ducks… by… urinating and defecating on them?  I don't understand.  Is that a bad thing?  I always thought that was part of a healthy sex life. 

I dunno, maybe this "Civil War" has something to do with freeing the sex slaves.  And if that's the case, I need to figure out which school is the Confederacy.  I can't lose my sex slaves.  Each one counts as three-fifths of a person at a cut party.

[Beavers Blog via The Wizard of Odds

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USC FINALLY CHOKED

10.30.06 Written by Matt

After looking kinda crappy but still winning for the last couple weeks, USC finally succumbed at Oregon State on Saturday by a score of 33-31.

Who's ready for a sexual innuendo-off? Ready… go! 

Yes, the Beavers really swallowed those Trojans. The Trojans, ironically, had some protection issues. The Beavers really suffocated the Trojans until late in the game: with the Trojans down 33-10 in the third, the Beavers looked like a sure thing, but any celebration was premature until John David Booty couldn't hook up for a two-point play at the end. And if a man named Booty on the Trojans can't fuck the Beavers… well, what kind of world do we live in? Cock. Balls.

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