The modus operandi for people running football in 2011 has been to unnecessarily micro-manage it from the minutia up, so it should come as little-to-no surprise that a new guy brought in to be the officiating consultant of the Pac-12 is the stuffed-shirt dean from any number of teen sex comedies and wants to make sure nobody has a good time at the football games. NCAA rule violations? Let’s just sweep that sort of important thing under the rug under the “board of trustees” (or whatever) leaves. But hand gestures? Hand gestures?

From Sorry Bro Sports:

New Pac-12 coordinator of officiating Mike Pereira says the Ducks signature ‘O’ shape the players occasionally make with their hands after a touchdown, “borderlines on unsportsmanlike conduct.”

Seriously, look at this guy. I don’t want to boil down the “what does and doesn’t constitute sportsmanlike conduct” debate to “lol what a nerd”, but come on, has this guy ever had a day of fun in his whole life? He could be on our currency. He’s the kind of guy who looks at professional sports and decides that “the O hand gesture looks more like a triangle than an O” is the first thing you should fix.

“Slippery slope” is an even worse talking point, but if we take away school spirit hand gestures and the ability to choose the color of your shoes, what’s next? Taking the logos off the helmets, because supporting your team is “bragging”? Should we limit the school fight songs to one long monotonous note, held for 8-10 seconds before the start of the game, but before any of the fans (or “persons”) have arrived?

Come on, Mike, don’t be such a square. Let them make circles.

Big ups to reader Sean for this video; it’s so good that I felt compelled to put his name in bold type. This is a high school playoff game in Oregon, and the guy with the ball is named Kenneth Acker, and he apparently has AIDS, since nobody seems to want to tackle this guy. Says Sean, “Check the post-hit celebration midway through,” one of the things that makes this video special. But seriously, this is a terrific punt return for a touchdown that almost certainly has nothing to do with sexually transmitted diseases. But if you’re worried about that sort of thing at this time of year, I’m just grateful that I’m not a part of your family.–Oregon Live.

This might be a couple weeks old, but it’s still another float in the parade of questionable judgement in high school coaching continues, so here it is. We go to, ironically enough, the Beaver State of Oregon. Michael Todd (not pictured), who was the baseball coach at Portland Lincoln High School, resigned from that position after school administrators learned that he allegedly took three students to a strip club on a team trip in San Francisco.

From The Oregonian:

Two volunteer coaches who went to the strip club also resigned Friday, Cowie said. Their identities were not released, and Cowie said he did not know the coaches’ relationship to team members or the Southwest Portland school.

The strip-club incident was reported to school officials by students who had heard about it from baseball team members, Cowie said.

The resignation comes six weeks after another Lincoln coach, David Adelman, was arrested on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants.

Adelman, the boys’ basketball coach and son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman, remains on staff pending disciplinary measures. Most people would say that the DUI is so much worse than taking high-school aged kids someplace they’d probably end up anyway, but strips clubs are no place for young adults. You know how much a Diet Coke is in a strip club?! It’s like five bucks! Is that the kind of thing we really want our kids to be around?