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Ed. note - Jessica ‘Lobster Mobster’ Hudnall’s read-through of Tank Abbott’s weird, overtly-racist debut novel Befor There Were Rules, A Trilogy By #1 MMA Cagefighting Legend David “Tank” Abbott, Book One, Bar Brawler, A Novel continues. Here’s your prerequisite reading, which you should commit to memory and know by heart:

Part 1 – Foreword, Prologue, Chapter 1
Part 2 – Chapters 2-4
Part 3 – Chapters 5-7
Part 4 – Chapters 8-10‘
Part 5 – Chapters 11-13

Today: HIGH COURT ROOM DRAMA in chapters 14-16.

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Here at With Leather, we like to honor all walks of sport, and nobody conceives, executes or dissemenates competition like the wonderfully insane minds running Japanese television. When you think about the Allied Occupation of Japan after World War II, where staples of Americana like liberal democracy, individualism and even baseball, it’s almost like Japan represents what America could have been in some parallel universe. Think about that; we could have been Japan. I can’t process all of the feelings I get from realizing that.

Now think about the fact that you–yes, you!–could have been the guy with pins clipped to your nostrils, lips or nipples as you tried valiantly to pull the bikini top off a Japanese girl (one with a really flat ass, by the way, but who’s complaining). Live vicariously after the jump if you dare. It’s as if they as a people decided to embrace what was great about Western civilization and just discard all of that puritan bullsh-t that guilt-trips so many people into perpetual misery. Don’t ever change, Japan. Let your nipple-pointed star burn brightly for years to come. Read the rest of this entry »

The civil case brought on by a New York Jets fan over the New England Patriots’ illegal use of video equipment was thrown out of U.S. appeals court earlier this week. Carl Mayer, a lawyer and New York Jets season ticket holder, sought $185 million in damages for Jets fans on the basis that the game’s outcome had been predetermined.

“We do not condone the conduct on the part of the Patriots and the team’s head coach, and we likewise refrain from assessing whether the NFL’s sanctions (and its alleged destruction of the videotapes themselves) were otherwise appropriate,” Senior Judge Robert E. Cowen wrote for the three-judge panel.

However, he said Mayer failed to prove any legal right to damages.

“At best, he possessed nothing more than a contractual right to a seat from which to watch an NFL game between the Jets and the Patriots, and this right was clearly honored,” Cowen wrote. –Cape Cod Times.

I think I have a better shot of beating Raphael Nadal on claycourt and snorting coke with Lindsay Lohan in the same day than I would in winning a lawsuit against the NFL. Mayer, despite being an attorney, actually hired another attorney, Bruce Afran, to make his case.

“(The opinion) seems to suggest that no matter how much ticket holders pay, they can be defrauded by NFL teams. And it puts the NFL on the same level as professional wrestling,” Afran said.

We’ve discussed this already: you have to be insane to buy season tickets when you can get NFL Sunday Ticket for a fraction of the price while you sit on your own couch. Granted, I love paying for overpriced food and peeing in a giant metal bathtub with ten other dudes, but I don’t think I’m gonna sue for that privilege. Not when I live so close to the freeway.

I’m not saying that women have it easy when it comes to picking out a business-appropriate wardrobe, but there’s something to be said for having awareness of what you’re putting out there. Such was the lesson learned by Versus’ Lindsay Soto who, in the midst of interviewing Anaheim’s Rob Niedermayer during a stoppage in play last night, gave Niedermayer more of a show than she’d planned. Try a button-down next time, Linds. Think of the buttons as adjusting the curtain length for those wonderful, wonderful gifts which The Lord hath bestowed onto you. Oh, was I not supposed to notice? Whatever.

See the whole peepshow unfold through the magic of video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »