A “major Canadian concert act” is scheduled to perform at next month’s NHL FaceOff in Winnipeg. Who could it be? The Barenaked Ladies? (The Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum. Are you?) Maybe Sarah McLachlan will show up with an eight-minute ballad about “shelter” and a crate full of one-eyed kittens. Whatever they come up with, it couldn’t be worse than the NFL bringing in Kid Rock, Maroon 5 and Lady Antebellum to christen the new NFL season, right? Right?

Before you assume the people in charge of professional sports don’t want us to kill ourselves, consider that the band could be Nickelback.

Thankfully, the people of Winnipeg (and all good people in this world) are fighting back — by way of Deadspin (+1) comes an open letter published a few days ago in the Winnipeg Free Press urging the NHL to not ruin the Jets’ return to Winnipeg with a concerto from Chad Kroeger And His Stooges.

As people who love music and love Winnipeg even more, we have a request: Please ensure this does not happen. The return of the NHL to Winnipeg is something we have been dreaming about for 15 years. Please do not sully the celebration with the presence of a band whose existence is antithetical to the very concept of celebration.

Please, Person In Charge Of Booking This Event, do not bring Nickelback to Winnipeg that weekend. They can play the arena to their own fans — of which there are many — any time. But a free public performance? That would be tantamount to spitting on Bobby Hull’s toupee, burning Dale Hawerchuk’s jersey, leaving something wet on Thomas Steen’s city council seat or tripping Teemu Selanne on the ice during his final season in the NHL.

Strong words, but strong words are necessary to preserve the morale of a sport going through three player suicides since May. You may want to type, “come on, Nickeback isn’t that bad, they’re just a rock band, if you don’t like them you don’t have to listen”. Want to know why professional wrestling has such a problem with premature deaths? It probably has something to do with this:

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With the 2010-11 NBA season wrapped up and with the 2011-12 season in danger as a lockout looms, we have some time to look back and analyze the undeniable significance of the impact that LeBron James had on not only this past season, but the future of the sport as a whole. We all knew that when James joined the league as a rookie, heralded at an almost unprecedented level, he was going to be a living spectacle. Maybe the purists had a better idea, but as an admitted Johnny-come-lately type of fan (read: last 10 years), I didn’t really expect what has become of this man who calls himself the “Chosen One” and “King”.

What James has shown us over the last year is that he’s a magician. Better yet, he’s an illusionist, Michael. He directs our attention to the stage – in this case the basketball court – and makes us focus on his play, and he tells us to keep watching because soon we’ll see the payoff, which is the NBA Championship that he desperately craves. But if you look away from the focal point for just a second, you’ll see his stagehands and assistants pulling strings, spinning mirrors and blowing smoke, because his actual goal is to be the biggest brand in the world.

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