When I say the name Bobby Leroy Hopkins Jr. I assume that everyone instantly thinks of the champion arm wrestler, because it should just be common sense. Unfortunately, this American hero had a run in with the law over the weekend after his black Infiniti was associated with a possible domestic disturbance in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Cops confronted the competitive strongman and as they tried to put him in cuffs, Hopkins became enraged, turned his hat backwards and tried to head butt the officers.

When all was said and done and the Kenny Loggins song had ended, Hopkins had dug himself a pretty nice hole.

Hopkins, who deputies said stands 6 foot 2 and weighs about 275 pounds, reportedly struggled against being handcuffed. The arrest report quotes him as yelling, “I’m a champion arm wrestler, I can bench press 600 pounds. I’m gonna kick all your [backsides] out.”

Deputies reported using two sets of handcuffs on Hopkins, who was charged with felony resisting arrest with violence. Misdemeanor charges of domestic battery; simple assault on a law officer; and four counts of misdemeanor resisting arrest without violence were also filed against Hopkins, according to the arrest report. (Via Orlando Sentinel)

The report doesn’t indicate if Hopkins has a previous record, but attacking a cop is usually the best way to get some jail time. It is also unknown if Hopkins and the woman he struck have any children, but Robert Loggia has been called just in case.

Video of Hopkins’ awesome* performance at the 2003 National Arm Wrestling Championship after the jump…

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That looker to the right is 50-year old Rafael Escamilla, a Florida resident who was recently on his way to Lewiston, Idaho to visit family, when he took a slight detour to jail. Escamilla was seated next to a 17-year old female high school cheerleader on his flight and she has accused him of masturbating next to her. Escamilla, however, denies the ludicrous charge, as he simply explained to authorities that he spilled Tobasco sauce in his lap and he was massaging and scratching his genitals because of the pain. Responded every other accused pervert on Earth, “Oh that’s a good one, bro.”

The girl reported that Escamilla whipped it out under his seatback tray and used one hand for his laptop computer and his other hand for his… itching. She then moved her seat and told another passenger that the guy sitting next to her had her “creeped” out. The passenger responded by masturbating, too. OK, not really, but wouldn’t that make an awesome “Twilight Zone” episode?

A little lower, Smoking Gun… no lower… LOWER… yeah, that’s the spot…

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Hulk “Terry Bollea” Hogan married his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel on Tuesday night at his home in Clearwater, Florida. And really, if you want to have a wedding that defines perfection, you really can’t go wrong with Clearwater, the city that gave us Hooters. But all was not peaceful and picturesque for Hogan and his new bride, as the Hulkster’s security team apparently got rough with a paparazzo that was taking pictures from 200 feet away, while standing in the ocean. No names were mentioned, but I’ve got $20 that says Brian Knobbs was involved.

And of course the photog in question wants to file charges and sue Hogan for physical, financial and emotional distress. I really hope that when the gates of hell open and Satan reigns over the sinners that he uses the paparazzi as toilet paper. But at least the 57-year old Hogan had a beautiful second wedding with his 35-year old new wife. That’s right, a 22-year difference. Hulk’s still my hero.

Whatcha gonna do, Your Tango, when Hulk’s saggy skin runs wild on you…

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I don’t watch a lot of high school basketball, but if they start tossing referees around like they do in southwestern Florida, I might start tuning in. This comes to us from Arcadia, Florida, care of WL‘s new official dirty uncle, Upstate Underdog.

DeSoto’s Mason Holland was ejected after shoving a Port Charlotte player then took out his frustrations on the referee who ejected him. [sic]

Port Charlotte won the shortened game by forfeit. –Ft Myers News-Press

And everyone just kinda stands around, either because they’re so shocked that such a thing would happen, or because that ref really is a total dick. Why couldn’t it be both? Let’s just say that it’s both. Seriously, kids: don’t beat up referees. They’re just normal folks looking to stay involved in sports and earn a little extra money to support their meth habits.

Enjoy the video on the next page, with a little extra bonus.

While not nearly as gruesome as, say, a family killing the patriarch over his love for World Cup soccer, a woman was arrested after she assaulted her boyfriend with a hammer because he was watching the New England Patriots and Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday Night Football. I’ll give you one guess where it happened… that’s right, Florida! And as our resident Floridian, I am proud that my state is finally taking the lead in domestic violence cases involving Patriots games. Suck it, Massachusetts.

Byrdie Davis hit her boyfriend of 16 years, Andrew Rosa, in the face with a hammer because she was pissed that he was watching the game. Rosa escaped serious injury with only a cut under his eye, as he managed to leave their home and call the police. While I’m no relationship expert, I’m betting that Davis was upset because of Ben Roethlisberger’s garbage points. They killed me, too, sister.

Describe this grizzly scene of love fallen victim to pass interference, Smoking Gun…

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Last we heard from adult actress and dipsh*t business entrepreneur Devon James, she had been accused of paying boxer Teneal Goyco to dress up as Tiger Woods as part of her fantasy to sleep with the embattled golfer. The result of that plot was believed to be James’ alleged sex tape that she claims she has had for much longer. Well now it seems there’s not even a sex tape with a fake Tiger, but that’s not stopping James from trying to profit in general.

Devon and her husband Nick James have filed for bankruptcy in Florida (where the hell else would these people live?) and in doing so have admitted that there’s simply no sex tape at all. The problem with that is – at least to sticklers of things like the law – they’re still selling a sex tape on their web site and collecting money for it. That’s called fraud and now the James Gang(bang) is being investigated by Florida authorities. You know, once they’re done filing restraining orders against the son of God.

Hey Chicago Sun-Times, wanna buy my sex tape of me and my sock… er, I mean, Rachel Bilson?

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