Rangers infielder Omar Vizquel wants to spend his offseason learning how to fight bulls [not pictured] in his home country of Venezuela. I’m stunned that I really don’t have a joke for that.

“Just go and learn the basics and stuff,” Vizquel said. “It’s one of my things on the to-do list. There’s a lot of things still to do.”

There are few players who can match Vizquel’s offseason pursuits. Among the other adventures he hopes for: parachuting, flying in an F-16 jet and attending all three Triple Crown horse races.via, via.

If he manages to fly an F-16 into North Korean airspace, he’d probably be able to kill two birds with one stone. And then he could take another item off his bucket list: Serve as political prisoner in Southeast Asia. Ah, that’ll be me someday. also.

I wish this was a quirkier story, but it’s just your typical shortstop-meets-marsupial tale.

Rangers infielder Omar Vizquel has three pet kangaroos at his home in Seattle. … via.

He’s even brought them into the clubhouse for games, as he did last week. And…yeah, that’s it. I guess they have names and stuff. We’ll say one’s named Ester…uh, the big one’s called Thelonious, and the little guy there, we call him Sugar Ray. Although he might be a girl. Sugar Rae, then. Man, that was a horrible band. Is this like Michael Jackson with the chimp? Are we talking about the same dynamic here? Because nothing would be more awesome than hanging out with three kangaroos that dress exactly like me. At least then I’d finally be able to host that poker game. Kangaroos play pocket pairs like you wouldn’t believe.

MLB – In his first return to the city where he played 11 years, Omar Vizquel's ninth-inning heroics — a suicide squeeze in the top of the inning, followed by a lead-saving backhanded stab in the bottom — gave the Giants a 3-2 win over the Indians, their first win in Cleveland since the 1954 World Series.  Wait a second.  Omar Vizquel is still alive? … Jason Varitek broke our of a 1-for-30 slump with the go-ahead single in a 4-run eighth, propelling the Red Sox to a 5-4 victory over the D-Backs and preserving the Sox' place at the top of the AL East, one game ahead of — Tampa Bay?  Am I reading this right? … Jerry Manuel's explosion (and expulsion) wasn't enough to keep the Mets from letting the crappy guys on Seattle play well, as the M's routed New York 11-0.  No Seattle aces were injured in the contest.

Wimbledon — Nobody of note lost in the early round of women's play; the biggest news was Maria Sharapova's shorts (more on that later).  On the men's side, 4th-seeded Nikolay Davydenko was upset in straight sets, but let's be honest here: I don't care, and neither do you.

College World Series — Fresno State's unlikely run continued, as the under-Bulldogs beat Georgia 19-10 to force a deciding Game 3 tonight.  Be sure to tune in to hear the soothing sounds of baseball on a hazy summer evening.  Ping!