Today I learned that the 2014 Winter Olympics and Paralympics will take place in Russia, and I may have already known that but this is 2013 so I either packed it away in the POD storage unit in my brain or I deleted it so I could make room for the unofficial Taco Bell Volcano Sauce recipe, because that sh*t’s important. Either way, the 2014 Winter Olympics is something that will happen and people in Russia are already working on big things.

For example, people in Sochi are already busting their asses storing snow so they have enough for next year, and as I wrote that, I asked myself, “Do I go with a joke about Snow the rapper or say that ‘storing snow’ is a Lindsay Lohan cocaine euphemism?” but I didn’t want to deviate from the main point.

The Sochi Olympics mascots are already out doing their promotional thing, and they were met by this young boy earlier in the week. There’s really nothing much else to this other than look at this little Russian bro telling the rest of the world what’s up.

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Unrelated but wonderful.

By now you’re probably aware that the International Olympics Committee – long known for being a bastion of integrity and morality – has decided to do away with amateur wrestling as a Summer Olympic event. You know this because you read about it in a rational news source or Joe Rogan rage-Tweeted your feed or because Chael Sonnen screamed it into your eye holes, but either way it was bad news. And it sucks because there are dudes and young ladies around the world who busted their asses and devoted their formative years to something that they really loved. Now they’ll all probably turn to a life of crack and crime.

At least that’s what TV has taught me.

There are some people, though, who don’t care about who is hurt, and they just see this as a reality. Ultimately, we’re all going to have to get used to not watching amateur wrestling every four years, and guys like UFC President Dana White think that won’t be a problem because nobody was watching it anyway.

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We’re all on the same page, right? The International Olympic Committee suggesting that wrestling should be removed from the 2020 games due to a lack of ticket sales or whatever is stupid, because it’s wrestling, and more or less the definitive human sport.

All we need now is for the IOC to hear passionate comments from athletes who value amateur wrestling, and are beloved and respected enough in the world of sports to be undeniable. People like … uh, Chael Sonnen, that punchman who preps for fights by calling his opponents super coward dummies.

A transcript of his thoughts:

“How do you get rid of wrestling? It is the oldest sport in existence. In no walk of society can you tell me seniority does not matter. Nothing can date itself back as far as wrestling. They didn’t have bikes, they didn’t have balls and they didn’t have bats — they were pushing and pulling on one another.”

“We have an idiocracy known as FILA that has ruined the sport. We have two knuckleheads that you couldn’t trust to run your local donut shop regulating our sport of wrestling. Wrestling has cannibalized itself from 10 spots on the world and Olympic team to nine, to eight, to seven. This is where they’re at it. It’s basic science, the number one rule in biology, you either evolve or you become extinct.”

That’s … actually pretty astute. If you need stupider comments, TMZ spoke with former WWF Heavyweight Champion The Iron Sheik, a 1968 Olympian for Iran who is most famous in his post-wrestling career for being a sort-of profane Wesley Willis who reacts to every situation with threats of violence and anal sex.

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Hey, everybody, Happy Valentine’s Day.

Remember Oscar Pistorius, the South African sprinter and double-amputee who participated in the 2012 Summer Olympics and once beat a horse in a footrace? Yeah, he murdered his girlfriend today. As the story goes, he mistook her for a home invader and shot her. Uh, four times.

Paralympic superstar Oscar Pistorius was charged Thursday with the murder of his girlfriend who was shot inside his home in South Africa, a stunning development in the life of a national hero known as the Blade Runner for his high-tech artificial legs.

Reeva Steenkamp, a model who spoke out on Twitter against rape and abuse of women, was shot four times in the predawn hours in the house, in a gated community in the capital, Pretoria, police said. (via ESPN)

One of the worst things about the murder (you know, besides somebody being f**king murdered) is that Steenkamp’s last words to the Internet were cheeky affirmations of how awesome Valentine’s Day is and an Instagram about how you shouldn’t be violent towards women. Cajun touched on that on our main page earlier today.

I don’t really know what to say. It’s a tragedy. It’s stupid.

Because we are contractually obligated to never do Twitter Reacts! posts again, I decided to find 10 Huffington Post comments section comments that totally and unbelievably missed the point, each in their own special little way. Consider it a reference guide. If you’re about to type something about Oscar Pistorius that reads like one of the following comments, just backspace it until it is gone forever.

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"Nope."

Wrestling is not a sport. No, I’m not talking about pro wrestling (for once). I’m talking about wrestling wrestling.

Following the removal of baseball from the Olympics in a quest to get Brandon to stop watching it completely, International Olympic Committee leaders are planning to drop amateur wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. You know, the sport that has been part of the games since 1896 and kinda-sorta represents the entire “man vs. man” thing the Olympics (and sports in general) are going for.

Oddly, the angle the Los Angeles Times write-up of the story takes is that modern pentathlon is being removed, and how nobody gives a shit about modern pentathlon, and what modern pentathlon is. They just lump wrestling in with table tennis and badminton somewhere in the middle.

The IOC will also review preparations for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia — less than a year away — and the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro.

The sports expected to be on the hot seat for removal besides modern pentathlon: Taekwondo, wrestling, badminton and table tennis.

The report analyzes more than three dozen criteria, including television ratings, ticket sales, anti-doping policy and global participation and popularity.

… keeping in mind that synchronized swimming, handball, race walk, shooting and “Nordic Combined” will all still happen at their appropriate Olympics, just not wrestling or baseball. Pretty soon the Olympics is just going to be gymnasts posing on the sidelines of a soccer game, holding up a big sign that says PLEASE LIKE SOCCER, BECAUSE OLYMPICS.

But hey, golf is joining the Olympics in 2016. That’s exciting and athletic, right?

And I say HEY! What a wonderful time of day! Where you can learn to work and play, and read the first Sports On TV of 2013: the 20 greatest sports moments from PBS Kids’ ‘Arthur.’

‘Arthur’ is about the mostly-educational adventures of Arthur Read, an 8-year old aardvark who … well, learns to work and play and get along with the people in his hometown of Elwood City. Arthur started as a series of children’s books by author and illustrator Marc Brown, and eventually became a cartoon so popular it has over 1.1 million likes on Facebook and is the longest-running children’s animated series in the U.S., second behind only ‘The Simpsons’ as the longest-running animated series in the U.S. period. It’s also full of sports, and sometimes I like to write things on my comedy sports blog that my girlfriend will enjoy.

If you don’t already love ‘Arthur’ and have no interest in flipping through this list, listen to the opening theme, included below. If you can listen to the entire thing and not sing it for the rest of the day, I’ll let you off the hook.

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