When I was a kid, I tried really hard for about two weeks to learn how to skateboard, only to eventually realize that my awful coordination, combined with my fear of boo-boos, made it virtually impossible for me to stand on a piece of wood with four wheels and roll. But while I was behaving like the other people who shared my first name, there were other kids who were becoming great skateboarders while setting themselves up for lifetimes of being righteous bros, bro.
Take 56-year old Neal Unger, for instance, who is known as “The Dude” by his legions of skateboarding fans. Unger published his own book for Amazon Kindle last month, entitled “Dude Logic”, and for just $2.99 you can take a trip inside the brain of an icon.
Related in context, but still my favorite picture ever taken.
The best part about just f*cking around and starting this Spring Break series to entertain my own ridiculous thoughts, and a few other people, is that people have been sending me videos, with each one being better than the next. This week’s installment asks the important question – who says Spring Break is only for kids?
Mable was excited to be flying to Orlando to see her family for a week at Disney’s Magic Kingdom, because ever since she lost her beloved Herb, she’d been pretty bored at the senior living community in Boca Raton. To be clear, Herb didn’t die, she just lost him at a Wal-Mart, and after several hours she just gave up. Besides, there are plenty of single men at Fogey Pines, and if she could deal with Herb’s gonorrhea, then she could deal with anything. And hell, maybe she’d even meet a man when her family eventually leaves her behind at the Tea Cups.
First thing’s first, though, Mable had to get on a plane, and boy did she hate flying.
Phil Jackson joined twitter with a bang, when he Tweeted a bunch of jibberish about his 11 rings and most people were like, “This is going to be a joke about how it’s hard to type with 11 rings on” and sure enough, those people were right. But the joke was clever enough, and the Zen Master has gone on to Tweeting whatever he feels like, including this fun nugget from last night:
And everybody was all, “ZOMG Phil Jackson is calling out some dude named Mo! Is it Mo Cheeks? Moe Harkless? Mo Vaughn? Moe Howard?” and I was like, “Nah, it’s mo-mentum” and then I high-fived my dog. But let’s just say for sh*ts and giggles that Jackson was calling out someone named Mo for being a bitch. I’d have to side with Twitter user “WOO!” on this one:
11 championships you can say whatever the fuck you want huh bruh? My dawg.
And then Jackson was all, “What up, boo?” with Jeanie Buss, who may have my favorite profile pic on all of Twitter.
It might be time for Pac-12 men’s basketball coordinator of officials Ed Rush to do the noble thing and retire. After all, he’s north of 70 and officiating basketball games is a younger man’s job these days. Especially when this specific old man is apparently offering other refs $5,000 to make sure certain coaches are ejected. At least that’s what Rush is being accused of in a new report by Jeff Goodman of CBS Sports.
According to anonymous Pac-12 basketball officials, Rush has a personal vendetta against Arizona Wildcats coach Sean Miller, enough so that he attempted to bribe and “bully” his fellow officials.
Rush, according to a source within the Pac-12 officiating group, told a group of referees on the Thursday of the Pac-12 tournament in Las Vegas that he would give them $5,000 or a trip to Cancun if they either “rang him up” or “ran him,” meaning hit Miller with a technical or toss him out of the game. Rush then reiterated during a Friday morning meeting, according to one referee in attendance, that officials should take similar action against Miller if he did anything on Friday in the Pac-12 semifinals against UCLA.
“He was emphatic about not dealing with him (Miller),” the ref told CBSSports.com. “He made that perfectly clear.”
In that meeting was referee Michael Irving, who called a technical on Miller in the Pac-12 semifinals later that evening. Miller swore that he never directed any profanities at the officiating crew, but he earned the T and a $25,000 fine for confronting an official after the Cats lost to UCLA by 2 points.
As a result, Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott brushed Rush’s $5,000 bounty off as a joke and slapped him on the wrist. Because if we know anything to be true, it’s that simply telling a guy to stop being mean to someone will certainly make him stop. Clearly, Arizona basketball fans have nothing to worry about next season. Right, giraffe?
Meanwhile, this is also bad news for the NBA, because up until 2003 Rush was the league’s director of officiating, and there are plenty of fans out there who still haven’t moved on from the Tim Donaghy scandal. While Donaghy’s “indiscretions” took place in 2006 and 2007, there are people who think that the problem goes way back and even still exists to this day. Otherwise, we probably wouldn’t still have videos like this popping up every week.
In conclusion, Ed Rush is about 15 years late for his appointment with a 4:30 dinner and the weekend shuffleboard tournament at Shady Pines.
It has been a pretty big week for golfing legend Arnold Palmer, between his Invitational tournament currently taking place at the Bay Hill Club here in my beautiful Mecca of Orlando and the upcoming launch of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2014, which features the 83-year old icon and some of the greatest golfers of all-time. So it’s only natural that The King would get some of his old swag back and take a shot at Kate Upton.
The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover model joined Palmer for lunch yesterday to show some support for the Arnold Palmer Hospitals, and because he is actually sort of responsible for Upton being famous in the first place. Something about him referring her to an agent or whatever.
So if you think that this was just a case of two nice people getting together for a good cause, you’re probably right. But believe me that there’s still a club or two left in this dog’s old bag.
Meet Mamika and Bob, subjects of photographer/conceptual artist Sacha Goldberger, as seen on Faith Is Torment. Yes, it’s basically just a lady and a chicken. The photos are really endearing, oddly, and if you ever wanted to see a chicken exercising and jumping rope, here’s your shot. Because art. It’s better than the push-ups monkey, at least.