Former Oklahoma linebacker and totally average NFL player Brian Bosworth got a DUI last night. On a motorcycle.

Cops pulled over The Boz on Hollywood Blvd. for not having a license plate on his bike, but detected alcohol on his breath. He failed the breathalyzer and was arrested and taken into custody at about 3:00 AM. We’re told he was very cooperative.

He is currently being held on $5,000 bail. [TMZ]

Brian Bosworth can’t come up with five grand? I was counting on his wisdom and insight to lead us out of these troubled economic times. Because he’s made so many good decisions in his life, see. But there is something badass about getting drunk and riding around on a motorcycle, even if you are a washed-up football player. I’m guessing he tried to keep drinking at the police station until he blew a .44 or better.

This concludes our broadcast day. We will have some Weekend Picks up tomorrow morning, but we’re ducking out for now. Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone that sent in tips this week. Less work for me! Have a great weekend.

This isn’t very timely, but it’s funny and cut smartly and not too long, and — most importantly — it makes fun of Oklahoma fans’ pain at losing yet another bowl game.

Plus I just spent the last hour watching the inauguration, and it’s not like that’s a great way to get some heavy-duty writing done. In conclusion, whatever. Sometimes shit gets mailed in. I’ll start trying again… nnnnow. No wait. Not yet. I’m gonna finish this sandwich first. Then maybe clip my fingernails. I’m pretty busy today.

[Deuce of Davenport]

You know how when you were a kid, some days you’d show up to school and your teacher would surprise you with a film? And your teacher kind of smelled like your divorced uncle?  Well, I’m not hung over, but I don’t feel like working, so here’s Florida’s Major Wright crushing the Sooners’ Manuel Johnson last night.  I know I’ve had some animosity towards Oklahoma in the past, but this isn’t meant to be pro-Florida or anti-Oklahoma.  Think of it as pro-someone getting their teeth knocked in.  That’s a cause we can all believe in.

[via EDSBS, which also points out this COLUMNFAIL]

UPDATE: Sad trombone from Da Wiz after the jump.
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Cry!  Cry little piggy!

(HT: AA)

Also excited: Jesus

Florida beat Oklahoma 24-14 in the BCS Championship Game last night, cementing its status as the best non-undefeated team in the nation, which equates to a national championship this year.  Sorry, Utah.  Try not being in Utah, you’ll get some more respect.

Maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t care that the Sooners’ streak of 60-point games stopped, but I actually enjoyed seeing an evenly matched game with defensive stops and a couple turnovers (the Gators’ two goal-line stands were the difference in the game).  The only problem I had with the game was the announcers, Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis.  Here’s a sample of the commentary:

Brennaman: …and Tim Tebow is just putting this team on his back.  What an amazing leader!
Davis: I’m even more impressed by the person he is, Thom.
Brennaman: And such a considerate lover.

I couldn’t stand it, and I like Tebow.  I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Oklahoma fans.  Their malformed, shrunken brains must have been so angry!  More photos, links, video, and commentator screw-ups after the jump.

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#6 Oklahoma eked out a 73-72 victory over USC last night, and part of what kept the Trojans close was Blake Griffin’s absence during part of the second half after he got nut-punched by USC’s Leon Washington.  And yet, even though they showed the replay a dozen times, neither announcer actually told the viewers what happened.  It’s like they were afraid to say groin, or genitals, or testicles, or jizz factory.  Even the AP article dances around the issue:

Griffin, a preseason All-America forward, had to come out of the game after getting elbowed below the waist by USC’s Leonard Washington with 13:54 left.

BALLS.  He got smacked in the balls.  And not with an elbow.  Announcers and journalists being pussies like this is why people read blogs.  Because we don’t cheat you out of the opportunity to talk about nut shots.  I’m all about the genitals, baby.  I keep my nose to the groinstone.