You know how when you were a kid, some days you’d show up to school and your teacher would surprise you with a film? And your teacher kind of smelled like your divorced uncle?  Well, I’m not hung over, but I don’t feel like working, so here’s Florida’s Major Wright crushing the Sooners’ Manuel Johnson last night.  I know I’ve had some animosity towards Oklahoma in the past, but this isn’t meant to be pro-Florida or anti-Oklahoma.  Think of it as pro-someone getting their teeth knocked in.  That’s a cause we can all believe in.

[via EDSBS, which also points out this COLUMNFAIL]

UPDATE: Sad trombone from Da Wiz after the jump.
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Cry!  Cry little piggy!

(HT: AA)

Also excited: Jesus

Florida beat Oklahoma 24-14 in the BCS Championship Game last night, cementing its status as the best non-undefeated team in the nation, which equates to a national championship this year.  Sorry, Utah.  Try not being in Utah, you’ll get some more respect.

Maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t care that the Sooners’ streak of 60-point games stopped, but I actually enjoyed seeing an evenly matched game with defensive stops and a couple turnovers (the Gators’ two goal-line stands were the difference in the game).  The only problem I had with the game was the announcers, Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis.  Here’s a sample of the commentary:

Brennaman: …and Tim Tebow is just putting this team on his back.  What an amazing leader!
Davis: I’m even more impressed by the person he is, Thom.
Brennaman: And such a considerate lover.

I couldn’t stand it, and I like Tebow.  I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Oklahoma fans.  Their malformed, shrunken brains must have been so angry!  More photos, links, video, and commentator screw-ups after the jump.

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#6 Oklahoma eked out a 73-72 victory over USC last night, and part of what kept the Trojans close was Blake Griffin’s absence during part of the second half after he got nut-punched by USC’s Leon Washington.  And yet, even though they showed the replay a dozen times, neither announcer actually told the viewers what happened.  It’s like they were afraid to say groin, or genitals, or testicles, or jizz factory.  Even the AP article dances around the issue:

Griffin, a preseason All-America forward, had to come out of the game after getting elbowed below the waist by USC’s Leonard Washington with 13:54 left.

BALLS.  He got smacked in the balls.  And not with an elbow.  Announcers and journalists being pussies like this is why people read blogs.  Because we don’t cheat you out of the opportunity to talk about nut shots.  I’m all about the genitals, baby.  I keep my nose to the groinstone.

The only time it’s good to be bombarded with shitloads of basketball games is March Madness.  If I’m not gambling on teams being eliminated from a championship tournament, I really don’t need non-stop tip-off coverage.

But yeah, college basketball season is here.  **makes wanking motion** I guess the big game last night (“big” being two ranked teams and not a blowout) was Oklahoma-Davidson.  Stephen Curry picked up where he left off last spring, going off for 44 points while rallying his team from a 21-point deficit, but Blake Griffin (25 points, 21 rebounds, pictured looking retarded) and the Sooners held out for a win in Norman, 82-78.

My God, that was exhausting to write.  No chance of me doing that again.  Here’s the rest of the scoreboard.

Oh no.  And there were ten NBA games last night, too?  Listen people, I’m just one man.  One man who doesn’t care.  You should probably go elsewhere for the basketball recaps.

By virtue of being a top-five team that didn’t shit the bed this past weekend, the Oklahoma Sooners have taken over as college football’s top-ranked team this week.  Nick Saban’s previously eighth-ranked Alabama, which defeated preseason #1 Georgia in Athens, moved up to #2.

It was a wild weekend in which the shocking USC and Florida upsets were just the tip of the iceberg — nine ranked teams lost, and six of those were to unranked teams.  Golly, numbers like that might mean that the ranking system might somehow be flawed.

You can get the full breakdown of Saturday’s action in The Alphabetical, The Sporting Blog’s excellent weekly feature.  All I really care about is that Wake Forest lost at home to freaking Navy, yet they’re still ranked at #25.  Hello?  Can my 5-0 Northwestern Wildcats get a little love?  Rowr-rowr!

Nah, just kidding.  I don’t really give a crap about them.

(photo from Sooner Fever)