This is why blogs are awesome. Basketbawful writer “Evil Ted” tried to make sense of the Celtics’ dubious Kendrick Perkins trade the only way he knew how–by “trading” his son for another boy down the street.

This past weekend, I tested Doc Rivers theory and traded my 9-year-old son (the one I felt has the least potential) to another family for their son. I made sure to trade my son to a family that wasn’t in my grammar school district, so that I wouldn’t have to worry about his talents impeding my own family’s success (at least not until high school rolls around), and I made sure that I got a kid who’s skills filled some voids, and would compliment the skills of the rest of my family.

–Basketbawful.

The video of Ted breaking the news to his son is pretty great; it’s the best performance by a child since Pearl McKay from “The Landlord“. Hey, foster homes can do a lot for some people. Superman grew up in a foster home…along with a lot of criminals. Meh, most folk heroes started out as criminals.

via Skeets. Of course.

Wow, what a day for speculation in the NBA! First some black-and-white airbrush Brooklyn logos show up and now the city of New Orleans may be in danger of losing the Hornets franchise to those troublemakers up in Seattle. After the league’s recent purchase of the Hornets, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer coincidentally sold $1.4 billion worth of stock and he’s been very open about his desire to return a NBA franchise to the Emerald City.

Now I know what you’re thinking – “Burnsy, aren’t your abs naturally sculpted and isn’t it pretty common for a billionaire to just up and sell $1.4 billion worth of stock?” And to be honest, I read the figure “$1.4 billion” and lost control of my bowels, blacked out and woke up in a puddle of my own tears. Regardless, Seattle is making a push to replace the void left by the Sonics’ move to Oklahoma City after David Stern left a flaming bag of dog poop on the entire city’s doorstep.

Per the Seattle Post-Intelligencer…

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The Boston Celtics’ Kevin Garnett was feeling a bit disenfranchised after playing Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Bombers. Durant, who might have the NBA’s best nickname as the “Durant-chula” (spelled phonetically there) went off for 37 points against a Celtics team that just lost its third game out of its last four. Garnett gave credit where it was due–to the officials.

“I thought we was playing Michael F-cking Jordan tonight, the way he was getting the whistle. Durant damn near shot more free throws than our whole team.”

Durant shot 15 free throws (and made all of them) to the Celtics’ 17. This is obviously conclusive evidence that the NBA is still rigged. Or maybe they just played half-assed D and didn’t rebound. But really, this is only up so I can post the clip of Garnett spouting off about how Durant was getting calls. Should “F-cking” be capitalized there? No?
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