I know what you’re thinking, “What’s OJ Simpson has been up to lately.” Pies? You were thinking of pies? Eh, I was close. Anyway, Simpson’s still in jail, where he’s been since he was sentenced to 15 years in prison in December for armed robbery. And it sounds like he’s really starting to fit in with the guys at Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada, according to the National Enquirer:

According to the tabloid, Simpson has told pals, “My cellmate is nuts. He’s a killer, and he hates me. He told me that he is in prison for murder and rape, and he hates my guts because I got away with murdering my ex-wife.

“He’s told me he is going to strangle me in my sleep the first chance he gets.” via.

Sheesh. Roommates, ya know? They’re either drinking all your milk or moving your car keys around or threatening to end your life with their bare hands. You’d think they’d put the rapists together with the other rapists so they could bond over their common ground. Bond against each other’s will, anyway. Seems appropriate to me, as long as one guy isn’t using all the hot water. Thanks, flubby.

Outside The Boxscore reminded us that, yeah, 15 years ago today, O.J. rode in his white Ford Bronco across Los Angeles before being apprehended by police and charged with the murder of his ex-wife and that dude she was bangin’. Personally, I thought he was innocent the whole time. But it’s a doubly historic occasion, as this is also the first time anyone managed to drive through the 405 in LA in less than an hour.

The moral of the story is pretty simple: never return anyone’s sunglasses. Ever.

There’s probably something scientific to be said for the psychological impact of divorce on the male psyche, considering the emotional anguish that comes from watching the dissolution of his own family, unable to do anything about it. But insinuating that you would go on a killing spree is probably the wrong way to express that.

Here’s what Hulk Hogan told Rolling Stone (via Page Six) about his impending divorce proceedings with his ex-wife, who probably has a name, but she wasn’t a pro wrestling superstar, so who cares:

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat,” he told the magazine. “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it.”

It really depends on where you want to spend your money–divorce attorneys or criminal defense attorneys? Either way, it might not be a bad time to stock up on Italian shoes and gloves that don’t fit your hand when you fully extend your fingers.

O.J. Simpson was just sentenced to fifteen years in prison for his role in the botched armed robbery that was an attempt to retrieve what he claims was his own memorabilia.  The first reports I heard were 18 years, then I heard at least six years, now the headline on CNN says 15.  And you know what?  No one particularly cares.

It’s almost kind of sad to see this former NFL great, now stooped at 61 years old, sent off to prison and relegated to our apathy.  But then you realize that he kind of murdered two people by cutting their throats so viciously they were practically decapitated, and hey, maybe the last 13 years of playing golf were a gift he didn’t really deserve.

(picture is from his trial in October — he wore prison scrubs today)

O.J. Simpson, who may spend the rest of his life in jail for kidnapping, armed robbery, and kinda murder, had planned an acquittal party, according to a confidant.

Simpson associate Thomas Riccio, after an in-studio interview Friday with radio talk-show host Anthony Crivello and retired Las Vegas police detective Phil Ramos, invited them to join O.J.’s entourage at an undisclosed location.

“That’s how certain he was,” Crivello said during an interview on Saturday, a day after Simpson [was] found guilty on all counts… “He’s been predicting a hung jury,” said Ramos, who attended the trial and provided expert commentary on Crivello’s show, “The Sicilians” on Fox Sports Radio.

Luckily, there’s still time to change the eVite.  Is “pity party” an option?  **Wah-wah-wah-wahhhhhh**

[FanHaus]

This is one of the cells at the swank Clark County Detention Center, where Orenthal J. Simpson will be staying until he receives sentencing for the 12 robbery and kidnapping charges he was found guilty of earlier this week. Yes, but how is the room service, Lester Munson?

I once interviewed David Casper, a son of legendary golfer Billy Casper, in the Clark County facility. He was confined there after a drug-fueled crime spree which ended in Las Vegas. This jail is nasty and scary. There is no celebrity row in this jail, and there are none of the special privileges Simpson, now 61 years old, enjoyed in the Los Angeles County Jail before and during his murder trial. It’s the kind of place that becomes oppressive after a few days, and Simpson will be there for nine weeks.

Simpson is looking at 10 to 15 years in prison, though there is an outside chance that the kidnapping charge will net him a life sentence. Which is a long time to go without banging white women. Or stabbing them, really.

[ESPN, via GameOn]