O.J. Simpson actually had a court ruling in his favor earlier this week. No, he’s not out of jail. He won a court case that decided the ownership of some of that memorabilia that he tried to steal a couple years ago:

In a ruling that capped more than a year of legal wrangling, Superior Court Judge Gerald Rosenberg on Tuesday gave nine souvenir footballs and a few other items to a lawyer for Simpson nemesis Fred Goldman for auction. Goldman is trying to collect on a $33.5 million civil judgment against Simpson.

But in another odd twist, the judge said Simpson must get the first $6,075 from the auction. Rosenberg said it was possible that figure would not be reached, and then Goldman would get nothing. via.

This was from a bundle of crap that Simpson was trying to steal (back?) from memorabilia dealer Bruce Fromborg. However, Fromborg was allowed to keep most of his OJ stuff that was stolen from him in that September 2007 robbery: something like 600 photographs and a few books. I’d be more interested in a certain knife and pair of black Bruno Magli shoes. Oh, no particular reason. A friend of mine’s getting married in October, and I don’t really feel like buying him a blender.

OJ Simpson might be out of jail before you know it; his case is up for review before the Nevada state supreme court, specifically to decide whether or not Simpson should be allowed to post bail during his appeal on 12 charges, including armed robbery. Lawyers for Simpson and co-defendant Clarence “C.J.” Stewart are arguing that the pair did not receive a fair trial before their October 2008 conviction:

Justice Michael Cherry didn’t say at the end of a hearing Monday how long it will take for the three-member panel to rule on whether the former football star and convicted co-defendant Clarence “C.J.” Stewart should be allowed to post bond. via.

And…that’s really all we know right now. But consider this a public service to get out of the habits of returning people’s sunglasses and dating white women. That’s really why we’re here. That and all the free buffalo wings.

I know what you’re thinking, “What’s OJ Simpson has been up to lately.” Pies? You were thinking of pies? Eh, I was close. Anyway, Simpson’s still in jail, where he’s been since he was sentenced to 15 years in prison in December for armed robbery. And it sounds like he’s really starting to fit in with the guys at Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada, according to the National Enquirer:

According to the tabloid, Simpson has told pals, “My cellmate is nuts. He’s a killer, and he hates me. He told me that he is in prison for murder and rape, and he hates my guts because I got away with murdering my ex-wife.

“He’s told me he is going to strangle me in my sleep the first chance he gets.” via.

Sheesh. Roommates, ya know? They’re either drinking all your milk or moving your car keys around or threatening to end your life with their bare hands. You’d think they’d put the rapists together with the other rapists so they could bond over their common ground. Bond against each other’s will, anyway. Seems appropriate to me, as long as one guy isn’t using all the hot water. Thanks, flubby.

Outside The Boxscore reminded us that, yeah, 15 years ago today, O.J. rode in his white Ford Bronco across Los Angeles before being apprehended by police and charged with the murder of his ex-wife and that dude she was bangin’. Personally, I thought he was innocent the whole time. But it’s a doubly historic occasion, as this is also the first time anyone managed to drive through the 405 in LA in less than an hour.

The moral of the story is pretty simple: never return anyone’s sunglasses. Ever.

There’s probably something scientific to be said for the psychological impact of divorce on the male psyche, considering the emotional anguish that comes from watching the dissolution of his own family, unable to do anything about it. But insinuating that you would go on a killing spree is probably the wrong way to express that.

Here’s what Hulk Hogan told Rolling Stone (via Page Six) about his impending divorce proceedings with his ex-wife, who probably has a name, but she wasn’t a pro wrestling superstar, so who cares:

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat,” he told the magazine. “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it.”

It really depends on where you want to spend your money–divorce attorneys or criminal defense attorneys? Either way, it might not be a bad time to stock up on Italian shoes and gloves that don’t fit your hand when you fully extend your fingers.

O.J. Simpson was just sentenced to fifteen years in prison for his role in the botched armed robbery that was an attempt to retrieve what he claims was his own memorabilia.  The first reports I heard were 18 years, then I heard at least six years, now the headline on CNN says 15.  And you know what?  No one particularly cares.

It’s almost kind of sad to see this former NFL great, now stooped at 61 years old, sent off to prison and relegated to our apathy.  But then you realize that he kind of murdered two people by cutting their throats so viciously they were practically decapitated, and hey, maybe the last 13 years of playing golf were a gift he didn’t really deserve.

(picture is from his trial in October — he wore prison scrubs today)