Last week we featured a video of the Dallas Mavericks murmuring their way through ‘Sleigh Ride,’ and if you thought that’d be the end of their wacky Christmas updates, you are underestimating a 12-13 team with nothing better to do.

Today’s installment in what I hope is a Dallas Mavericks Christmas Trilogy is Dirk Gives Presents To His Mavs Teammates, a short film about “Santa Dirk” giving Angry Birds boxers, rotary phones, ‘Saved By The Bell’ sweatshirts and Viking helmets to his fellow Mavericks. It also features O.J. Mayo delivering the best line of dialogue I’ve heard in months:

“Yo, Dirk got me a Christmas gift, I wonder what it is.”

Nailed it.

Anyway, you’ll want to watch this clip. Shake Weights are involved.

Read the rest of this entry »

Memphis Grizzlies player O.J. Mayo, who you might remember earlier this year as that guy who did not pay what he owe (I f-cking love that video), was suspended yesterday for 10 games when he tested positive for a substance not allowed in the league. This is pretty surprising for a guy who has kept out of controversy for most of his basketball career.

The league announced the suspension Thursday for Mayo’s positive test for dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA). Mayo’s suspension will start Friday night when the Grizzlies visit Philadelphia, and he will be able to return Feb. 15 also against the 76ers in Memphis.

Mayo said in a statement released by the team that he is extremely disappointed he will miss 10 games as the Grizzlies are making a push for the playoffs. He blamed an over the counter supplement that he didn’t know was banned by the NBA for the positive test.-ajc.com.

If you ask a doctor (or look it up on Wikipedia like I did), you’ll find that DHEA is indeed a steroid, which means that yes, Memphis journalists, you can use all those headlines combining “O.J.” and “juice” that you’ve been saving ever since O.J. Simpson left the sports world. I’m a simple man who enjoys the more refined side of rap, so “O.J. DA JUICEMAN” is perfectly fine with me. And yes, I worked entirely way too hard on that header picture. That was, like, 15 minutes. Do you know how valuable my time is? Don’t answer that.

Ever wondered what NBA athletes do in their spare time on the plane to and from their games? As it turns out, it’s something stupid that would probably get you kicked off the flight if you did it on any commercial airline.

O.J. Mayo and Tony Allen, both of the Memphis Grizzlies, played some card games, and apparently, Mayo never paid what he owe (NSFW language).

Adrian Wojnahjeezmylastnameistoolong:

After a card game gone awry, Memphis Grizzlies teammates O.J. Mayo and Tony Allen had to be separated during a physical encounter on the team’s charter flight Monday, league sources told Yahoo! Sports.

Mayo owed Allen money from a card game, “Boo-Ray” and sources said Mayo became increasingly belligerent and antagonistic toward Allen when asked to settle the debt. Sources said Allen walked away from Mayo to go the restroom and returned to find Mayo continuing to berate him. Eventually, Mayo inched close to Allen, and sources said Allen hit Mayo.
Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently one of O.J. Mayo’s handlers was paid by USC coach Tim Floyd to….I guess direct Mayo to go to USC. And before we get to the blockquote of this “story,” let me pull my socks up:

In a story posted Tuesday night at Yahoo! Sports, Louis Johnson, the former associate of Mayo’s, said Rodney Guillory told Johnson that Floyd had given Guillory “a grand.” Johnson said he was able to view $100 bills inside an envelope Guillory had.

Look, Louis Johnson is an ass and, apparently, an ass with enough X-ray vision to look into envelopes. Reggie Bush got boatloads more money and he wasn’t a fraction of the sure thing in the pros that Mayo was. The only thing one of those guys would have done for a grand would have been in a motel room with a couple of Asian girls. I’m pretty sure this was the entire plot of the hit 2008 film, Never Back Down.

USC men's basketball coach and alleged chronic masturbator Tim Floyd said that asking O.J. Mayo to return for his sophomore season would be "irresponsible," citing that Mayo is already likely to be a lottery pick and that the coach had no intention of standing between Mayo and a huge stack of cash, saying something to the effect of "If it's his dream of playing in the NBA, he should do that."

Floyd made the remarks on Rome Is Burning last night. The rest of Floyd's appearance on the show consisted of having a take and not sucking.

Mayo would probably not be in the college game right now were it not for the NBA's recent rule that prohibits players from making the jump straight to the pros from high school, which is bullshit. Does Las Vegas make aspiring hookers take communion? Did the Hitler Youth have to get passing grades in economics? Why is Mayo in college to begin with? He should be averaging 15 and 10 a night for the Clippers before snorting blow out of some 31-year-old intern's asshole. I mean, if it's his dream to snort blow out of an intern's asshole, he should do that.

Mayo would be batshit insane to stay, even if it is USC. Why settle for Reggie Bush money when you can get LeBron money?

[MDS at FanHouse]