A Cincinnati-area amusement park has removed one of its more amusing [to me] attractions. A display of skeletons arranged to resemble the dead bodies of Steve McNair and that one kid has was bangin’ have been removed from King’s Island, based in Mason, Ohio. Represent, yo:

Kings Island Amusement Park’s Halloween Haunt features skeletal renditions of various celebrities, including Heath Ledger surrounded by pill bottles, Farrah Fawcett in her iconic red tank top, pitchman Billy Mays, and a pajama-clad Michael Jackson.

“You’re gonna see Ted Kennedy, Ed McMahon, and there’s still other ones yet to be placed,” Kings Island spokesman Don Helbig told Cincinatti NBC affiliate WLWT. via.

McNair’s Nashville restaurant, by the way, is still closed, which is too bad, because this is probably the only time they’d drum up any business… Read the rest of this entry »

The Mahoning Valley Scrappers, a class-A affiliate of the Cleveland Indians based in northeastern Ohio, are giving away a free liposuction procedure at an upcoming game. And to think that I’ve been doing cardio and lifting weights like some kind of idiot for weeks on end. Okay, days. From the team release, via Small Ball USA (thanks, Playing For Peanuts):

he Scrappers will select five finalists that will be invited to the July 8th Ladies Night Celebration, sponsored by Valley Surgical Arts. During the game, the five finalists will be invited down to the field, where the Scrappers will announce the grand prize winner.”

The best thing that will happen here is that five obese women will walk onto that field and four of them will have their hopes and dreams absolutely shattered. Not that I think that overweight people are deserving of heaping servings of scorn; far from it. I just appreciate the drama of it all. It’ll be like Oscar night, except without the expensive gowns or portion control.

This is, according to the fellas at Waiting For Next Year, Cleveland-area recording artist A. Gully. And he’s sitting on top of his “new” 1987 Cutlass with…well, you can see the pictures. It’s basically the greatest polished turd you’ve ever seen. Actually, if he’s from Parma Heights, it could also be the greatest Polish Turd you’ve ever seen. See what I did there? No, it’s not as clever as checkered tint. But then, what is?

Read the rest of this entry »

Editor’s Note: This post has nothing to do with sports. We realize that. We don’t care.

Pedo watchdog Brandon shares with us the story of a strip club in Akron, Ohio (The rubber capital of the world! Wokka wokka wokka!) where police raided the place and seized an unusual piece of property–a 14-year-old girl.

Akron police vice officers served a search warrant Friday night at the Playhouse bar. The bar’s owner and manager were charged with illegal use of a minor in a nudity performance and child endangering.

Police Lt. Rick Edwards says officers saw some dancers have contact with customers, but not the 14-year-old. He says the club is not licensed as a sexually oriented business.

The girl was placed in county social services. Hehe, services. I don’t see the problem with recruiting some young talent. I mean, have you seen the women that work in strip clubs? They look like slabs of bacon in big hair and thongs. It’s like the late Johnnie Cochran always said. If she ain’t 18, don’t stick it ‘tween. But then Johnnie Cochran never lived in Akron. They play by their own rules in the Rust Belt. That’s the Rust Belt, right?

|Columbus Dispatch|

From the Ohio high school playoffs. Or something, hell it says it in the video.

And then there was this other time that I was at a Fallout Boy concert…

I’m a day late getting to this, but Alex Boone — the Ohio State tackle who used to drink 30-40 beers a day — was arrested in California for a shirtless drunken tirade after the Super Bowl.

“[Boone] was jumping up and down on cars and pounding on garage doors,” [Sheriff's spokesman] Jim Amormino said.  Boone got into an altercation with a tow truck driver who said that Boone tried to break the driver side window of the tow truck and was jumping up and down on the back of the tow truck and wanted to fight the driver.

Once law enforcement found Boone, he would not follow orders and yelled and cursed at the officers, being “very uncooperative.”  Officers used a Taser to subdue the 21-year-old from Lakewood, Ohio, and bring him into custody. Boone was “dry Tased.”

“Dry Tased is, he wasn’t shot with a dart,” Amormino said. “The [Taser] gun was used – you press against the body when you use it instead of shooting darts, mainly a pain compliance.”

Boone, who is 6-foot-8 and 312 pounds, had somehow found enough alcohol to achieve a blood-alcohol level of at least .24, and continued to berate and threaten officers during processing.  His mother came to his defense, saying, “He wasn’t driving. He didn’t hurt anybody.”  Oh yes.  Like a lamb, your little Alex.