Somehow, this Baron Davis flop didn't quite make the "Where Amazing Happens" commercials.  And yet I can't be mad about it, because Baron Davis reps Oaktown and keeps it "real," while Mehmet Okur plays for Utah.  I just can't feel sympathy for the Jazz.  Their team bus could get into fiery wreck, and I'd be all, "I hope the driver is okay."

[BallHype via The Postmen] 

Um, so I kinda didn't do an NBA preview (although today's Saint Andrew's Net is an all-basketball affair worth your perusal).  You'll forgive me for not ringing a triangle and announcing to the entire ranch the arrival of the NBA season.  Don't get me wrong: it's nice to have hoops back, but it's a long trudge through the winter months until teams kick it into high gear and the games feel like they matter.  So I welcome back the NBA not with a loving grope, but with a polite pat on the ass.  Here are last night's scores:

Rockets 95, Lakers 93
Kobe gets announced to the home crowd; home crowd boos.  Kobe drops 45; home crowd cheers.  But Shane Battier's 3-pointer with 2.5 seconds left lifted the Rockets to a win in Rick Adelman's debut for Houston.

Jazz 117, Warriors 96
Eh, just roll the tape from last year's conference semis.  Boozer dominates, Deron Williams slashes and dishes, and AK-47 plays some inspired, tear-free minutes.  White people cheer, go to Thailand to spread Christianity.

Spurs 106, Blazers 97
This game was interesting right up until the point Greg Oden had knee surgery a month ago.  Tim Duncan went for 24/13 and a contract extension, while Tony Longoria had 19 and a pedicure.  In related news, I fucking hate the Spurs.  And San Antonio ain't no pleasure palace neither.  That fantastic River Walk you always hear about?  It's a sewer.

A man staying in the same hotel as the San Antonio Spurs apparently jumped to his death (third item):

Some Spurs officials had an unsettling afternoon when they returned to their team hotel to discover a man had apparently committed suicide by jumping from one of the building's upper floors.  Many of the players didn't know about the incident until they boarded the team bus later in the day to go to the arena.

Yeah.  "Many" of the players didn't know.  Like all the players besides Bruce Bowen and whoever Bowen bragged to about it.  Probably Robert Horry.  Listen, I'm not saying Bruce Bowen definitely committed a murder; I just think the police should look into it a little bit.  Maybe take him in for questioning.  And by questioning I mean "brutal beating with night sticks until he's a vegetable."

Honestly, though, I'm sure it was a suicide.  If I were in Utah AND staying in the same building as the Spurs, I'd kill myself too.  I can't say for sure that death is less boring than the Spurs in Utah, but I'd be willing to take that chance. (Although why the Spurs were vacationing together in Utah remains a mystery, because we all know the NBA season is over.)

A tale of two Games Five, with the away team down 3-1: the Bulls shot the lights out and re-energized their series by beating the Pistons 108-92, while the Warriors' magical run ended in Utah.

I'll miss the Warriors, but their exit from the playoffs makes the team no less memorable.  Their first-round demolition of the Mavs was not only historic, but a hell of a lot of fun to watch, and even though I'm not enamored with Utah (I absolutely refuse to side with these fans), I at least respect their game, and they should be well-rested by the time they travel to San Antonio for the next round.  (Yep, no chance for Phoenix.  Spurs will totally advance.  And I'm definitely not trying to jinx them.)

Meanwhile, the Bulls, after getting completely outclassed for the first three games, suddenly look like worthy adversaries.  Game 6 goes in Chicago, and if they can stay hot (72% from the field in the first half. Wow.), the Pistons could be looking at their second straight year of a seven-game series in the conference semis after losing a commanding lead.  Hey, someone has to make the Eastern Conference interesting.

The Golden State Warriors defeated the Utah Jazz last night, and Baron Davis served Andrei Kirilenko with a subpoena to the ongoing trial of Weeping v. Masculinity:  

Jason Richardson praised the rack-shaking abilities of his teammate:

"That would have to be the greatest dunk I've ever seen with my eyes in person," marveled Richardson, the two-time NBA dunk champion. "It was like he put his whole body in the rim."

HELLO!  I don't think you can say that.  Just to clarify, Richardson sees with his eyes, and they are located on his person.  Greg Beachem, AP Sports Writer, proffered this jewel:

Davis even got a technical foul after throwing it down for "acting the fool" in celebration — but the screaming arena backed him up.

Uh, you probably shouldn't say that either. -KD 

Fans of sexy awesomeness swallowed a bitter pill last night, as Golden State squandered a five-point lead with 50 seconds remaining to let Utah send Game 2 into overtime, where the White State ran away in the extra period to win 127-117.  The Jazz now lead the series 2-0, with both wins being thrilling, close games.

Really, there was so much to love about this game that it's hard to effectively recap. The Jazz got the most out of their starters — Boozer 30/13, Okur 23/18, Kirilenko 20/9/6 blocks, and Deron Williams with 17 and 14 assists.  Okur and Williams also hit clutch shots in the final minute of regulation, while the Warriors' Michael Pietrus missed two free throws and Baron Davis missed one of two, any of which would have practically sealed the game.  Disregarding the miss at the stripe, Davis was otherwise heroic, scoring 36 to go with 7 assists and 4 steals.

The Warriors, despite forcing 23 turnovers, were once again horrifically out-rebounded, and Stephen Jackson's ice-cold night did nothing to help their cause.  He scored 18 but shot just 4-of-18 from the field and made only two out his ten three-point attempts.  He could have contributed more by firing a gun into the air outside the stadium before the game.  Which I think is actually legal in Utah.  Unless you're black, which Jackson is, so I digress.

Oh yeah, and Derek Fisher flew back from New York in time to play the 4th quarter and OT.  Something about a daughter with eye cancer.  Boooo, cancer.  The important thing to know is that Game 3 drops Friday at 9:00 p.m. Eastern in Oakland.  Thanks, NBA.  Start the game earlier on a night where I actually want to stay up late.