Welcome back, everyone. I hope you enjoyed last night’s first installment of the NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 and our Dummy’s Guide to sounding somewhat intelligent in the company of people who watch more college basketball than you. I went 2-for-4 with my picks from last night, as Syracuse and Florida won their games and Cincinnati and Michigan State really took massive horse dumps in their respective matchups. But I also technically rode the fence on each game enough that I can say I was 4-for-4.

What can I say, I’m an expert.

We’re back at it tonight, and I know it’s a Friday and all, but I’ll still be live chatting the action up from the handy dandy portable intelligent telephone. I’ll be at the Orlando Magic game, per the usual, which will make it all more fun. Make your predictions, quips and witticisms in the comments and there will be free t-shirts and possibly other surprises to be given out.

Admit it, you’re excited.

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This might be one of the best mascot videos that I’ve seen. As Brutus Buckeye leads the Ohio State football team onto the field against in-state opponent Ohio U., he gets tackled by Rufus, the mascot of the latter school. The only thing more awesome would have been Rufus driving up through the human tunnel in a Hummer as empty beer cans flew out the window.

This is not the first time that I’ve seen Rufus mix it up with the opposition. I distinctly remember a game at Eastern Michigan in the mid-1990s (I was in the witness relocation program while testifying against Michael Jackson, as I recall) where Ohio’s mascot and Eastern Michigan’s mascot tumbled down a hill near the field in a sort of wrestling match.

As for whether or not this was pre-arranged, nobody seems to know, but the awkwardness after the initial hit and the general confusion of all parties involved (including the on-field security) suggest that this was simple blood lust from the visiting furry. We need more of this in college football, especially when the games on the field don’t turn out to be as competitive.

UPDATE: The Ohio University student in the mascot costume has been banned from all future athletic events. Of course he was…but how will they know what he looks like?
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I understand that Bill Cosby is a legend and all, but… ummm… this intro to last night’s Temple-Ohio game makes me think that he’s a little bit, oh, what’s the word?  INSANE.  Completely off-his-rocker Alzheimer dementia insane.

To be fair, though, this is better than Ohio’s most famous graduate showing off his skills.  I don’t ever want to see Peter King deep-throating a 12-inch cucumber.

[Awful Announcing]

Maurice Pearson, a sophomore basketball player at Ohio University, has been suspended from the team indefinitely for shooting two sorority girls with a BB gun.

Pearson, 18, was found guilty of aggravated menacing and assault last Thursday, after shooting two Delta Gamma Sorority members with an Airsoft gun on the second floor of James Hall Sept. 24. Pearson pleaded no contest to the charges of aggravated menacing and assault…

Pearson was fined and ordered to four days of house arrest.  In addition, Pearson is ordered not to contact the victims.

I don’t quite understand why you’d shoot girls with a BB gun.  Unless BB guns come with tranq darts now, in which case I need to go shopping.  But c’mon dude, they’re sorority girls, and you’re an athlete.  Give them a beer and furrow your brow when they talk, and you’ll be naked with them in 30 minutes. They’re not exactly wild game to be hunted.

[Busted Coverage]

You would think playing football for Ohio University would be a bad omen for your stock in life, but that's not the case for offensive lineman Mike Eynon.  He just won the lottery.

He is the luckiest man in Athens after winning the second tier of the Ohio Lottery Mega Millions, worth $250,000. After taxes, Eynon will receive $172,500…

Eynon matched all five numbers but missed out on the mega ball that could have awarded him $34 million. Still, Mike isn’t complaining.

The first thing I thought when I saw this was, this has to be a violation of NCAA rules, because the NCAA forbids athletes from doing things like looking at money and farting in the same room as someone with cash.  But no: "The NCAA views the lottery as a game of chance (such as a raffle) and winning it is not in violation of any rules."  Well jeez, then why do they get so bent out of shape when I try to fix games?  It's still technically a game of chance.

[The Sports Point]

Only in Utah could dyed blond hair be indicative of a deviant lifestyle (in the sense that it's outrageous and not just gay). That's the stance taken by Jazz's Jerry Sloan, who objects to Kyrylo Fesenko's newly bleached hair.

"He's got a long way to go to make himself a better player," Sloan said. "He has skills, but sometimes the outside things will take you right out of this game. If those things are more important than basketball, that's where you get in trouble."

"A lot of people have skills," Sloan added. "A lot of them are sitting on the sidewalk wondering what happened 20 years ago when they had a chance. He's got to figure out what he wants to do and play basketball or be a clown."

I don't know where Sloan has been living where homeless people sit on the streets with dyed blond hair questioning what went wrong with their lives, but it's probably the most fabulouth place on Earth. Those bottles of peroxide are awful addictive though. You start out slow but soon those flaxen tresses get so good to you that you'll do anything to keep them. Even if it means… well, I won't go into too much detail. Let's just say platinum pubes do exist.