This has been everywhere today–just like Pauly’s mom–but as an Ohio State alum, I feel compelled to weigh in. First of all, I never swam in Mirror Lake, because they hadn’t renovated that area of campus before I graduated. They hadn’t drained the lake, paved the bottom of it and rebuilt the walls around it until after I had blown that pop stand, so it’s not so much of a “tradition” as it is an indulgence. Secondly, who exactly was dying to enjoy an outdoor bathhouse on campus? What, the Short North wasn’t within walking distance? And finally, is it that hard to just hold it for another half-hour? But hey, school spirit! Just find your own ride home.
Amid the nationwide Election Day madness this week, THE state of Ohio passed a referendum that would allow the state to build casinos in its four largest cities. The gaming stocks love it, and the people of Ohio love it (the majority, anyway), but do you know who doesn’t love it? Mothers. They’re not content to ruin the lives of their own children. No, they have to make EVERYBODY miserable. Why should I be allowed to vote to overturn ridiculous laws that prevent me from doing what I want to do? Apparently because I’d be killing families, as this gratuitous ad seems to indicate. But I have no issue with that, either. That’s just less traffic between me and the blackjack table. –Ramblings of the Unmotivated.
A Cincinnati-area amusement park has removed one of its more amusing [to me] attractions. A display of skeletons arranged to resemble the dead bodies of Steve McNair and that one kid has was bangin’ have been removed from King’s Island, based in Mason, Ohio. Represent, yo:
Kings Island Amusement Park’s Halloween Haunt features skeletal renditions of various celebrities, including Heath Ledger surrounded by pill bottles, Farrah Fawcett in her iconic red tank top, pitchman Billy Mays, and a pajama-clad Michael Jackson.
“You’re gonna see Ted Kennedy, Ed McMahon, and there’s still other ones yet to be placed,” Kings Island spokesman Don Helbig told Cincinatti NBC affiliate WLWT. via.
McNair’s Nashville restaurant, by the way, is still closed, which is too bad, because this is probably the only time they’d drum up any business… Read the rest of this entry »
The Mahoning Valley Scrappers, a class-A affiliate of the Cleveland Indians based in northeastern Ohio, are giving away a free liposuction procedure at an upcoming game. And to think that I’ve been doing cardio and lifting weights like some kind of idiot for weeks on end. Okay, days. From the team release, via Small Ball USA (thanks, Playing For Peanuts):
he Scrappers will select five finalists that will be invited to the July 8th Ladies Night Celebration, sponsored by Valley Surgical Arts. During the game, the five finalists will be invited down to the field, where the Scrappers will announce the grand prize winner.”
The best thing that will happen here is that five obese women will walk onto that field and four of them will have their hopes and dreams absolutely shattered. Not that I think that overweight people are deserving of heaping servings of scorn; far from it. I just appreciate the drama of it all. It’ll be like Oscar night, except without the expensive gowns or portion control.
This is, according to the fellas at Waiting For Next Year, Cleveland-area recording artist A. Gully. And he’s sitting on top of his “new” 1987 Cutlass with…well, you can see the pictures. It’s basically the greatest polished turd you’ve ever seen. Actually, if he’s from Parma Heights, it could also be the greatest Polish Turd you’ve ever seen. See what I did there? No, it’s not as clever as checkered tint. But then, what is?
Editor’s Note: This post has nothing to do with sports. We realize that. We don’t care.
Pedo watchdog Brandon shares with us the story of a strip club in Akron, Ohio (The rubber capital of the world! Wokka wokka wokka!) where police raided the place and seized an unusual piece of property–a 14-year-old girl.
Akron police vice officers served a search warrant Friday night at the Playhouse bar. The bar’s owner and manager were charged with illegal use of a minor in a nudity performance and child endangering.
Police Lt. Rick Edwards says officers saw some dancers have contact with customers, but not the 14-year-old. He says the club is not licensed as a sexually oriented business.
The girl was placed in county social services. Hehe, services. I don’t see the problem with recruiting some young talent. I mean, have you seen the women that work in strip clubs? They look like slabs of bacon in big hair and thongs. It’s like the late Johnnie Cochran always said. If she ain’t 18, don’t stick it ‘tween. But then Johnnie Cochran never lived in Akron. They play by their own rules in the Rust Belt. That’s the Rust Belt, right?
