Last week, we discussed Giancarlo Guida, the Auburn grad and former Tigers rugby player who had a massive tattoo of Toomer’s Corner inked on his back, as that was one diehard fan’s way of saying goodbye to those iconic oak trees that were so heinously murdered by Alabama fan Harvey Updyke, Jr. And as Updyke prepares for his upcoming jail stint, thousands of Auburn students, alumni and fans gathered on campus over the weekend to pay their final tributes and respects to the trees by “rolling” them one more time.

Basically, people toilet papered the hell out of the dead and dying branches, as had long been a school tradition. Now, though, it will likely be replaced by simply using the toilet paper for wiping butts. In fact, can we talk about that for a second? When I was in college, I had to lock up my toilet paper because it was more valuable than gold. Yet here are all of these people just throwing it around like it’s nothing. Perhaps it’s just the sign of different times, but in my day we wouldn’t have been so wasteful.

Sure, there’s also an absurd irony in decorating dead trees by wasting paper, but this is sports and people are idiots when it comes to college football. So celebrate with the Auburn fans on… Earth Day? Geez.

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Ever since that whole “Occupy” thing started way back when, I was always curious as to why there weren’t more protesters at sporting events, railing against those millionaire athletes and billionaire owners for having all that success and money and not giving it away for free. But aside from a few threats of protesting the Super Bowl (too cold in Indy) and World Series (St. Louis fans will kill someone for ruining their baseball), the Occupy folks have been relatively quiet about sports. I figure it’s because they spent so much time ignoring sports as kids, so why should they pay attention now?

Australian world-saver and Occupy “member” Trenton Oldfield is ready to buck that trend, and he began his crusade against elitism in sports this weekend by disrupting the 183rd run of the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race.

An intruder protesting against elitism and privilege brought both boats to a standstill just over halfway through the 4 1/4-mile race when he swam into the middle of the River Thames and narrowly avoided being struck by the oars of both crews. (Via NBC Sports)

Take that, old wealth!

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Shady Canyon Golf Club in Irvine, California recently reopened after a four-month hiatus, proudly boasting upgraded fairways for golfers throughout the Golden State to enjoy. Top notch facilities they offered at this prestigious public course, and if these last two sentences had you packing your Callaway knockoffs for a weekend excursion, well don’t bother. Only hours after the course reopened, an unnamed golfer was hitting a shot out of some brush, when his iron struck a stone, sparked and started a huge fire. Somewhere the lead singer of Prodigy put down his mop and smirked, “Nice.”

Initially, people accused the golfer of having started the blaze with an errant cigarette, but it was later concluded that nobody in his group smokes, and that it was indeed possible for a steel or titanium gold club head to create a spark when hit against a rock. More than 150 firefighters used 38 trucks and 53 helicopters to displace 22,000 gallons of water from a lake on the second hole to put the fire out. When the firefighters finished they threw their hose nozzles into the emptied lake and 6 drunken golfers jumped in to retrieve them.

Quiet please, there is some scientific evidence to present, Golf Digest:

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