Fans of the U.S. Soccer will recognize fullback Oguchi Onyewu, aka Gooch.  Gooch presently plays in Belgium and may soon make the leap to the EPL.  Not that you care, of course.

A more likely reason for you to care: the woman in these pictures, whom Kickette claims is Onyewu’s wife, Salome.  Her apparent order of preference for clothing: soccer jersey, bra, hands, then (in last place) any other kind of shirt.

According to Wikipedia’s entry on Salome, “Christian traditions depict her as an icon of dangerous female seductiveness.”  And for once I gotta say, way to go Jesus & Co.  Those are way better Christian traditions than burning books and opposing Darwinism.

Perhaps you don't follow college soccer all that closely, but yesterday while we were all paying attention to the BCS and NFL and NBA and interesting sports, unseeded UC Santa Barbara pulled off a stunning 2-1 upset over heavy favorite UCLA to win the national championship in St Louis.

I know, I know: I'm just as shocked as you are.

Gaucho fans unable to join the team in St. Louis celebrated by breaking into the soccer stadium, uprooting one of the goals, and, uh, parading through the streets with it before chucking it into the ocean. Makes sense to me. And naturally, there's video.

And now the money shot: 

(Thanks to Tom of Farting Bag)