In a bizarre news story that is spreading across the Intertubes like wildfire, 17-year old Josh Ehrenberg from Shenango, Pennsylvania recently filed a police report after a man assaulted him while he was mowing the lawn. Big deal, right? Well, the attacker was allegedly driving by and stopped his car, just to get out, run up to Josh, and clothesline him off of the riding mower. Still not enough? How about if the mystery assailant committed all of the above and then celebrated by Tebowing? That’s Ehrenberg’s story, according to one of the stranger Smoking Gun reports of the year.
The car’s driver–who investigators describe as “a taller male, bald, wearing glasses”–exited his vehicle and approached the boy. The suspect then “knocked the juvenile off the lawn mower and assaulted him in the front yard of the residence,” according to police.
As the suspect walked back to his car (“possibly a 1980′s Chrysler New Yorker maroon in color”), he was observed “stopping and kneeling down as if in prayer (a ‘Tebow’),” noted cops. The man then fled the New Castle crime scene.
Additionally, WPXI Channel 11 News in Pittsburgh picked this story up, because Tim Tebow means ratings, even in little old Lawrence County. WPXI’s Gordon Loesch – who I assume introduces himself to people by saying, “Haha, no, I’m not the guy from Burn Notice, but I… I get that a lot” – has the shocking story that could possibly kill your entire family.
They seem to do things a little differently in Germany. They don’t go on endlessly about how good things used to be, their love for David Hasselhoff is unironic, and when they see a pack of Hells Angels tearing up the streets of Bavaria they apparently secure puppies, loosen their belts and prepare bulldozer getaway vehicles.
