He wasn’t, but if you asked me to name 900 reasons why Zack Greinke would be starting his first season as a Milwaukee Brewer on the DL with a fractured rib, “attacked by Charlie Sheen” might be on there, but “grabbed a rebound in a game of street hoops” wouldn’t. But that’s exactly what happened; Greinke (who is 6’2″ and deserving of an SB Nation-style “who is the whitest player in the history of baseball” discussion) went up for the board and came down somewhere near the bottom of the NL Central.

The best part is Greinke’s reaction.

“Everyone always told me not to do it because I was going to get hurt,” Greinke said. “It finally caught up to me.”

That is the most baller response ever. So when Greinke isn’t control pitching, he’s out roaming the city streets, escaping his handlers, looking for the next game of illegal pick-up street ball. You know he wears shorts that stop at his ankles and a big baggy like, silver metallic tank top and a bunch of headbands. He’s that white guy they always insert into park basketball games in TV shows and movies to make them not look racist.

In a related story, David Eckstein just injured himself trying to outrun a train in his Toyota Supra Turbo.

SI.com’s Stuart Mandel twaggered this video of a Cal defensive lineman taken from their loss against Oregon Saturday. We can see Aaron Tipoti apparently faking a leg injury after looking over to his team’s sideline.

“I know any time anybody goes down against Oregon, (Duck fans) always think that’s the case, but it’s not the case,” Cal coach Jeff Tedford said when asked if the injuries were faked.

However, a source within the Bears football program confirmed to The Oregonian that this indeed was “a big part” of the defensive game plan against Oregon, although not all Cal coaches were on board with this strategy.

The idea, of course, is to give the defense a rest while disrupting an Oregon offense that heavily relies on rhythm.

–The Oregonian.

Is anyone surprised about this? Half the reason that the Ducks are so good is that they’re almost a track team in helmets. If you allow teams to substitute during an injury timeout, then the incentive to go all Euro is there for everyone. Granted, most teams’ defenses only need to swap out an interior lineman for a nickelback to improve their third down look, but forbidding any other substitutions during an injury timeout would go a long way. Or at least throw the flag whenever the guy falls onto the ball.

The newest Buffalo Bill already has come up lame. Shawne Merriman lasted all of 15 minutes in his first Buffalo Bills practice before suffering a right leg injury. At least he managed to avoid being pelted with juggalo feces. That’s a silver lining.

“Shawne put 10 pounds on his body and went out there and had a little strain and we didn’t want to chance anything,” Bills coach Chan Gailey said. “So we’re getting it checked out completely and we’ll see what happens from there, but it wasn’t anything major.”

The San Diego Chargers cut Merriman after first putting him on injured reserve earlier this season with calf and Achilles ailments. Because it was a minor injury designation, he was allowed to play again this season after being cut. –Sean Leahy/USA Today.

Merriman was suspended for the first four games of 2006 after failing a steriod test and really hasn’t been heard from since. To his disappointment, Buffalo claimed him off waivers last week, and that’s where the 26-year-old will have to finish out the last year of his contract. Sure, there are worse places to play than Buffalo, but there’s nowhere worse to be killing time due to injuries. Well, maybe Cleveland.

This is NOT going to end well.

Ravens second-round pick Sergio Kindle may have a hard time getting the boatload of money he’s striving for in the rookie contract he’ll eventually sign if he continues displaying coordination that mirrors that of mine at the age of 5 (Okay, and at the age of now). Kindle was visiting his home in Texas when he decided that it would be best for him and his family if he headed downstairs. Unfortunately, his stairs had other plans.

The Ravens’ first pick in the 2010 draft fell down two flights of stairs at a home he was visiting in Austin, Texas, according to information released by the team on Sunday.

Kindle, the University of Texas product, is being treated at University Medical Center Brackenridge in Austin and will be unable to report to training camp with the rest of the Ravens’ rookies on Monday.

“We understand Sergio is stable at this time and that he is being tested and observed,” Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome said. The Baltimore Sun reported that Kindle has improved the last few days and is expected to make a full recovery. -Fanhouse

How can you fall down TWO flights of stairs? Wouldn’t there be a small landing there to ensure that this is impossible? Was he lying in a crumpled heap at the first landing as his concussion addled brain told him, “Ah, I fell down one already, why not go for the set?” What probably happened is he fell down one, realized, “WHAT THE HELL, nobody saw that? IT WAS AWESOME!”, then decided to recreate his fall on the second one to garner the attention he so desired. Alas, he also gained a mildly severe brain injury along with it. Good luck explaining your predicament to Ray Lewis, champ. Read the rest of this entry »