One of the strangers encounters that I’ve ever had with a sh*t-talking sports fan came after the Miami Heat defeated the Orlando Magic last season, and a gentleman in a Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James jersey and Heat hat was shouting to the Amway Center crowd, “That’s how he do it! That’s how he do it!” And I didn’t need to ask him why he was wearing one team’s jersey and another’s hat, because as I have become a big NBA fan in recent years, I have ultimately learned that, unlike other professional sports leagues, the NBA is a place where fans hitching their trailers to the superstars instead of teams happens.

And yesterday, as if it was the plot of a new Alien movie written and directed by social media managers, we watched the fanboy monsters and the equally terrifying outraged Twitter activists mate and give birth to a brand new breed of worthless, misdirected Internet fury. All because LeBron James wasn’t unanimously voted the NBA’s MVP for the 2012-13 season.

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Duke fans, beloved by everyone.

I was thinking just the other day that while this NCAA men’s basketball season had been pretty exciting, what with No. 1 teams dropping like flies each week, what we really need is a good scandal to besmirch one of the most successful teams in college hoops history. If only a certain rabid fan base that is widely viewed as a legion of self-entitled rich kids would step forward and reclaim its crown as the nastiest of the nastiest.

What’s that, Duke’s Cameron Crazies? You say you’re ready to do just that? Well, you’re going to have to convince me of that.

Duke fans reportedly chanted, “How’s your grandma?” at N.C. State’s Tyler Lewis, whose grandmother recently passed away. That’s messed up.

— Alex Kennedy (@AlexKennedyNBA) February 8, 2013

Damn. That’s messed up if it’s true. Fortunately, aside from writing inflammatory titles to posts so people get sucked it by irrational rage, I’m a pretty fair and balanced bro, so I want to take a look at some video first before I lay down my hammer of ultimate galactic justice.

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So far, our sports-related Christmas updates have been pretty weird. We’ve featured pro wrestlers (both foreign and domestic) singing Christmas carols, the NBA inspiring hate for their CGI ‘Carol Of The Bells’ commercial and the Boston Red Sox trying to sell season tickets with rehashed Christmas Vacation jokes. And now, because the quest to be the weirdest Christmas update of the year keeps escalating, here’s a Fort Wayne, Indiana, family paying homage to a game-winning 3-pointer in synched-up Christmas lights.

Via Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger:

Yes, that’s Christian Watford’s 3-pointer to beat Kentucky at the buzzer last December in Christmas lights form. It starts with the Indiana fight song, it goes quiet for a couple of seconds and then it leads right into the radio play-by-play of the shot that signaled the Hoosiers’ return to national relevancy.

That’s a pretty original way of supporting your favorite basketball team, no? A-plus for the idea, B-plus for the execution.

Here’s the video, which you will enjoy, assuming you are not these peoples’ neighbors. If you are these peoples’ neighbors, here’s a great website where you can buy shovels, which, when ordered, may be used to bludgeon these people into unconsciousness.

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I’ve seen a lot of bad sportsmanship in my day, but nothing that gave a black eye to Zombie Nation’s ‘Kernkraft 400′. At least, not until today.

After losing to the Gwinnett Gladiators on November 1, 2012, the backup goalie shows us the teams true colors by throwing Gatorade on the Gladiators fans. Stay Classy Orlando.

Of course, the liquid being thrown around looks a lot like water, but that’s been addressed via a well-placed conversation in the video’s comments section:

Looks like water to me.

That’s what we thought it was at first, but water doesn’t burn when it hits your eyes.

So what’s the proper response to that? “Stay classy, guys who are trying to escalate a water splashing into assault”?

Video of the VICIOUS GATORADING is below.

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There were a lot of heroes at last night’s NBA Draft in New Jersey, from the Boston Bros (BROSTON!) to the Knicks Bros to the ninja-like Heat Bros to this hilarious Brooklyn Nets kid and the awesome finger-wagging Knicks kid. We also got everything we expected, with New York Knicks fans booing everything, including their own draft pick, and David Stern going full WWE heel as the crowd booed him and the Heat mercilessly.

But if I had to pick a favorite thing about the draft, it’s probably the Knicks dude above, wearing an airbrushed tall T with a picture of Skip Bayless on it. He’s either the ultimate Bayless hater or the biggest ESPN fan on the planet. Either way, he proves that people who watch ESPN because they love sports or hate the network’s personalities are legitimately insane. I mean, who the hell makes an airbrushed Skip Bayless shirt?

*goes back to puffy-painting “I Love Samantha Steele” t-shirt*

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The Arizona Wildcats defeated the South Carolina Gamecocks 4-1 last night to complete a sweep and win the program’s fourth NCAA baseball title in school history. Coach Andy Lopez and the Wildcats put on a hell of a show to win his second College World Series in 20 years; in fact, this one comes on the 20th anniversary of his first, when he was the unknown coach of the even more unknown Pepperdine Wave.

But enough about all that awesome, inspirational baseball stuff, there were also morons in Omaha last night. Seven morons, to be precise, and I could even go as far as to call them knuckleheads. That’s the kind of foul mood these no-gooders have put me in. At one point during the game, these Douche-Bagnificent 7 (trademark pending) rushed the field and caused a delay in the game as security had to wrangle them up.

As you can see above, one ambitious girl even got herself a handful of some Wildcat ass. And knowing baseball players as well as I do, I can only hope that he farted on her hand. That would have been the mature thing to do.

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