In news that would make Pacman Jones’ legs buckle, Dallas area strip clubs are nearing panic mode as the Super Bowl approaches because they are desperately short on exotic dancers. According to TMZ, Showtime Cabaret currently employs 50 Porsches, Diamonds and Cinnamons, but they’re going to need another 100-120 Moniques, Desirees and Tigresses to meet the needs of Super Bowl fans, athletes, posse members, and the rest of the general pervert population.
In all, Showtime’s manager said that for the Nickelback and Buckcherry songs to keep playing, the city’s 60 strip clubs are going to need upwards of 10,000 additional strippers providing approximately 20,000 jiggly fun bags to meet maximum profit. Showtime and the other clubs are distributing promotional material (see next page) to attract girls who hate their fathers.
According to Showtime’s flyer: