Here’s the telecast of Novak Djokovic after his quarterfinal win in the US Open doing an impression of John McEnroe, whose book is absolutely terrible. Don’t ever read it, even if you’re stuck in a Mexican hospital and it’s the only English-language book in front of you. They love McEnroe in Mexico. But anyway, Mad Mac himself comes down from the broadcast booth to hit around with Djokovic for a bit, and I’d love to see this happen in any other sport. How awesome would it be to see Terry Bradshaw tossing on the field with Hines Ward, only to get crushed in the ribs as Kyle Vanden Bosch buries him into the turf. Somebody needs to make this happen. I’m looking at you, FOX Sports.

The men’s tennis world has finally been united under a common belief: Novak Djokovic is a gaping vagina.  Roger Federer, a man as prone to controversy as American cheese or particle board, criticized Djokovic for retiring in the heat against Andy Roddick:

“He’s not a guy who’s never given up before … it’s disappointing,” said Federer… “I’m almost in favor of saying, you know what, if you’re not fit enough, just get out of here. If Novak were up two sets to love I don’t think he would have retired 4-0 down in the fourth [set].”

Dude, you just got called a pussy… by a tennis player! BURN!  This will no doubt be added to Djokovic’s legacy of quitting:

In 2006, Djokovic retired from his French Open quarterfinal against Rafael Nadal after losing the first two sets. In 2007 he abandoned his Wimbledon semifinal contest against Nadal, blaming a toe blister.

Djokovic’s habit of calling for a trainer on court has often irked his opponents… Last September at the U.S. Open, an exasperated Roddick said of him, “He’s either quick to call a trainer or he’s the most courageous guy of all time.”

Roddick, by the way, lost his semifinal match to Federer last night (or later tonight? weird Australia time), 6-2, 7-5, 7-5.  But at least he didn’t QUIT!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Here’s a sentence I never expected to write on a sports blog: The Balkan conflict is now being fought with chairs in Australia.

One girl sustained minor injuries in this barrage of chair-throwing between Serbian and Bosnian fans after Serbia’s Novak Djokovic’s defeated Amer Delic in four sets, and I’m gonna go ahead and assume Delic is Bosnian.  And this incident happened just two days after Serbs clashed with Croatian fans in and around Melbourne Park.

The whole notion of people fighting at a tennis match is a little much for me to grasp.  Any sport where the P.A. announcer has to ask for quiet doesn’t deserve hooligans.

[The Sporting Blog]

Novak Djokovic is still playing at the U.S. Open, and in between matches he denied being involved with Leryn Franco.  Dammit, make up your minds, people.  I need to know whether I should break off my imaginary romance with Roselyn Sanchez.

The good news is that after having almost zero pictures of her two weeks ago, AFP and Getty Images paid for the rights to some more sexy pictures of Leryn.  Nice work by them.  And I gotta say, Novak Djokovic is way more low-key than I am.  If I were rumored to be dating Leryn I’d buy billboards in LA and full-page ads in USA Today with pictures of her below the text, “I hit this.”

Apparently hastily translated news items on the Internet are true, because everyone’s favorite Olympian/model, Leryn Franco, is in New York to support new boyfriend Novak Djokovic at the U.S. Open.

While Franco didn’t win any medals at the Olympics, she was a runner-up in the 2006 Miss Paraguay pageant and the Miss Bikini Universe contest. And she was sitting in the stands at Ashe Stadium yesterday cheering as Djokovic beat France’s Arnaud Clement in straight sets.

I don’t know.  I don’t think this proves anything.  It could just be a coincidence.  Maybe she was just passing through New York on her way back to Paraguay from China and felt like some tennis.  It’s damn near impossible to get a direct flight from Beijing to Asuncion, you know.  … I SAID IT PROVES NOTHING!!! To hell with ALL of you!  *runs away sobbing*

In sexy picture-related news, Olympic spearchucker Leryn Franco is reportedly dating Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic.  Machochip translates this bit from Mundo52:

“Djokovic looks to his new partner as if she were a trophy,” said one of the Argentine athletes. “Is it official? Yes, of course. They go hand in hand everywhere,” he says. The romance he’s referring to is that among the world’s number three tennis player and the beautiful athlete Paraguayan Leryn Franco.

So is it true?  Sure, whatever.  Frankly, I was just looking for an excuse to link to this gallery of Leryn, which was freakin' amazing until that website's server went down.  Just keep clicking on it, maybe it'll work later today.  What, like you've got something better to do?  You're already reading blogs at work, don't act like you've got the President on line 2.