WHO’S THE WORST COACH IN FOOTBALL?

Written by JOSH Z / 11.09.09

We’ve already made a case for Andy Reid, who couldn’t manage a clock if it was jammed into a serving of chicken marsala. But here are four other coaches, college and pro, who have come up short in their respective 2009 campaigns.

Eric Mangini, Cleveland Browns. Some people can step into a new organization and sling their dick anywhere they want, because as long as the team wins, they’re cool. But unlike Josh McDaniels in Denver–who was taking over an underperforming playoff-caliber team, Mangini hasn’t delivered the results that were expected from such dickery, and he’s likely to be a one-and-done coach as the Browns seem to be heading backward. Again.

2009 Wins: One, a 6-3 puntfest against Buffalo. And Buffalo sucks.

Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. The man who brought “FUPA” into the blogger lexicon, Weis might be the only coach in America with a signature loss, the Bush Push game in 2005. Weis was expected to have a chance to run the table in 2009, but he’s already lost three games (including losing to Navy at home on Saturday) with three to play.

2009 Wins: Six, with only two (Nevada, Washington State) by more than seven points.

Rich Rodriguez, Michigan. Charlie Weis with about half the calories. This is the only guy that would leave the Maize-and-Blue faithful pining for the days of Lloyd Carr. DickRod and Michigan seem to fit like OJ Simpson and those gloves, but with all the money they’re paying that guy, one might expect for this divorce to be even bloodier.

2009 Wins: Five, with all but one (Indiana) against non-conference teams, including a 63-6 drubbing of Delaware State. Awesome.

ASYLUM POLL: Who’s the worst coach in all of football today?

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Charlie Weis is Staying Put

Written by Matt / 10.19.06

Some NFL teams gave Charlie Weis a call during Notre Dame's bye week (who could possibly be looking for a new coach?), but the former New England offensive coordinator is going nowhere

"Everyone knows I'm staying here until they fire me or I die. I'm here for life. That's what I said I was going to do. So why would I not be a man of my word?"

Gee, I wonder why Charlie Weis isn't going anywhere. Probably because he doesn't like the sling and crane necessary to move his fat ass around. I mean, I'm sorry his gastric bypass didn't work, but c'mon. His face has the sunken eyes and ashy complexion of someone who's already had three heart attacks. He's staying at Notre Dame until he dies, all right. I'll put the over/under at 2.5 years.

And take the under.

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