The Cardinals hadn’t won on Monday Night Football in two decades, and last night they tried to lose in the most heartbreaking fashion possible, but they didn’t count on the 49ers wanting it even less. Thanks to a Kurt Warner-orchestrated comeback and the Niners’ love of turning the ball over, the Cards won 29-24.
If you missed the game, don’t believe what the journalists are calling Arizona’s “last-second goal-line stand.” Here was the situation for the Niners: second and goal from the 1 after Shaun Hill spiked the ball to stop the clock following three straight completions picking apart Arizona’s D. Three chances for the end zone, no timeouts, twenty seconds on the clock. Noted offensive genius Mike Martz calls two RUNNING PLAYS, one to Frank Gore for the loss of a yard, the other a dive play up the middle with Michael Robinson. Stuffed. Game over.
After the jump, enjoy video Kurt Warner thanking God for Martz’s shitty play-calling, and Tim Hightower shattering the visor of Mark Roman. It was the one play where Hightower wasn’t a complete and utter waste of a player on the field.
Frankly, I was expecting something a little more titillating.
Denny Green’s most prominent failure as a head coach, you know, despite not taking any of those talented Vikings teams to the Super Bowl, has to be the Monday Night game in 2006 when his Cardinals blew a 20-point lead over the then-undefeated Chicago Bears. That post-game press conference from Green has rightfully taken its place among the greatest sound- and video-bites in all of sport, reaching its hilarious climax with the phrase, “They are who we thought they were!” And Green is doing everything he can to earn a little coin for the noteriety.
Green is cashing in thanks to trademarking the phrase, selling items and for another year and having his lines in Coors Light commercials. Interesting side note before I run this thing. I noticed Green was also selling a “We Let Them Off The Hook” hat as part of his merchandise line. This was the last bit of the rant. Well, Coach Green, it turns out, has trademarked that phrase too.
The merch is for sale at DennisGreen.com, and they make a perfect give for that choke artist friend or lover of yours. Relive the magic of the moment with the press conference video after the jump.
Cardinals quarterback and former USC standout Matt Leinart continues his offseason regimen of hanging out in the hot tub and getting underage coeds from Arizona State drunk. Does God hate you? Before today, we couldn't be sure. But these photos pretty much confirm it. Sorry.
The Dirty has the details on many of the girls in these (and more) photographs, and it appears most or all of them graduated high school in 2006, placing them in the 19-20 age range. Leinart is just shy of his 25th birthday, so there doesn't seem to be anything too scandalous about this party. Oh, well, except the illegal part. Excuuuuuuse me, Mister Clarence Darrow. Not all Americans know every obscure blue law in the country, like "the drinking age is 21" or whatever.
Leinart's buddy Nick Lachey, on the other hand, is 34. If you're 34 and can tolerate a conversation with a 19-year-old girl, congratulations: you are functionally retarded. But I guess the TV show about being married to Jessica Simpson probably should have tipped us off about that one.
Hey, look! Philadelphia is trying to make some exciting off-season moves:
The Eagles have talked to the Cardinals about acquiring Fitzgerald, with cornerback Lito Sheppard and receiver Reggie Brown rumored to be part of the offer. The Cardinals have little interest in either player, and they are not eager to part with Fitzgerald, who made two Pro Bowls in his first four seasons. Sheppard also has been to the Pro Bowl twice, but there are questions about his durability and he's unhappy with his contract. The Cardinals aren't eager to trade for someone else's problem.
But if the Cardinals won't trade for someone else's problem, who will? Also, Takeo Spikes will no longer be clad in midnight green on Sundays:
Spikes told WIP-AM (610) that the Eagles had tried to get the veteran linebacker to play for less money, but two team sources said that wasn't the case. Eagles officials said they simply wanted to go with the young linebackers who showed promise in the latter stages of last season.
Hmm, wants to go withsomebody younger and who's not someone else's problem? Sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, if you think this post was just an excuse to display a photo of former Eagles cheerleader and sexy party girl Ali, you're absolutely correct. Enjoy! -KD
Man nothing tells me I'm doing an awesome job of reporting on sports gossip than when I pick up on a story two days after it hits the gossip pages. Kristin Cavallari, that chick from that MTV show that led to that other MTV show that led to The Hills, celebrated her 21st birthday on Saturday night, then she banged occasional Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart. Well, probably.
Reality show star Kristin Cavallari celebrated her 21st birthday in the company of former flame NFL quarterback Matt Leinart early Saturday at Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace. When Cavallari, in town to serve as Pure's celebrity host on Saturday, and her friends showed up at Pure about 1 a.m., Leinart was waiting in the VIP section… The former Heisman Trophy winner and former star of "Laguna Beach" were seen leaving together about 3:30 a.m., when both groups left together.
The thing I don't understand is that the photos of her in the red dress are titled "21st birthday at LAX nightclub" and are dated Saturday night. So are LAX and Pure the same place, or did she have two birthdays on the same night? Well, the answer is, Who cares? The real issue is why she's covering up those sweater kittens in that boring red dress. Don't straighten your hair and throw on a bunch of body glitter and try to tell me you're sexy, Tinker Bell, because that don't fly around here.
Anyway, the bikini photos are from last summer, because who does she think she is? Trying to be demure, my ass. Release a sex tape already.
