This has already been posted over at KSK, but it’s too surreal to not include here. It’s former NFL coach and current ESPN analyst Mike Ditka. Dancing. Oh yes.

The 80s-style weirdness is ratcheted up nicely, starting with Ditka walking into an empty bar WITH A BRIEFCASE and playing a game of foosball BY HIMSELF. Why foosball? Hey, it’s 11-on-11. That’s just like football! And then there’s a horrible band with Excessive High-Five Syndrome and a bunch of dancers without pants. Mons pubis? Let’s do this.

It’s weird. No wonder everyone did cocaine during the 80s. At least now we have World of Warcraft. Read the rest of this entry »

Ya know how they get the bull to buck back and forth like that, fellas? Here’s something you can test out yourselves in the office. Run an extension cord between your legs, with one hand in front of you and one behind. Now yank upward as hard as you can about 100 times. Hurts, doesn’t it? You wouldn’t want anyone filming that either, would you?

That bull’s name? Charlie Sheen. Because that bull is WINNING. (So I changed it. Shoot me.)

via SportPost.

I apologize in advance for showing this to you after lunch, but I’ve sat on this for a day and I have to talk about it with somebody.

This is Jazz Ison Sinkfield, and she hasn’t cut her fingernails in 22 freaking years. And that’s not the best part. Jazz says that her long nails are a talent and a gift, and that she hopes that her twisted tree-branch fingernails will get her on “Oprah”. Oh, and she maintains them. Her monthly salon visits, according to the report, are five hours long and cost $250. Mother of God, that’s a f#cking car payment.

This is really the most disgusting thing that I’ve ever seen. And I went to Ohio State. I don’t even think common fingernail clippers could fix this. This has to be fake. WHO ON EARTH CAN GO THROUGH LIFE WITH TUMBLEWEED AROUND HER DAMN HANDS FOR TWENTY YEARS?! And how is she driving a Cadillac? Hell, how does she put her clothes on?!

You can watch the video after the jump, or just run to the bathroom and puke, like I’m about to do right now.

A sexy, nameless reader brings us this entry into that Super Bowl commercial contest organized every year by a popular snack food. Anyway, I’m told that this video wasn’t one of the finalists, despite the fact that it features the awesome former WWE wrestler Al Snow, pioneer of the “JOB Squad” gimmick around the turn of the century. He’s on the indie circuit right now, but he looks like he can carry himself onscreen. He’s like a sexually ambiguous Bruce Campbell, but in a good way.

So here are the best random acts of FAIL caught on video and released to the world in 2009, and it’s an amazing compilation. Some of these you’ve seen here. Some of them are new, and one of them involves doves that I still can’t figure out. Whatever, just enjoy it. Because just as you expect it to end, it gets even more awesome. –College Humor.

The Fightins bring us this video of a guy that fully extends for a foul ball with his left arm while keeping his offspring tucked under in his right. Not bad, sir. Seriously, if you catch a foul ball at a game, don’t ever give it to a kid, because (a) he might spaz out and throw the ball back onto the field. And then no one has a ball, and (b) because he has the rest of his life to catch one. Oh, you want to be nice to a kid? Why don’t you set up a 529 for him, then. God, I hate the Phillies. via The Fightins (Thanks, Sharebros Mike, Chris and Trey).