Usually I let Burnsy handle the Penn State sex scandal stories. He’s got a more eloquent way of saying f**k you and die forever than I do, and I mostly just get indignant about stuff that barely matters. I might not be able to write much about this, either, but I wanted to share it with you.

These are the phone messages Sandusky left for Victim 2, aka the one from the showers Mike McQueary saw and didn’t do anything about. In the first, left last September, he says that there’s “nothing to hide, really” and that feelings should be “firm” and expressed upfront. In the second, he tosses out invites to a Penn State game. Both feature Sandusky saying “I love you”.

The closest thing I can come up with for a joke here is that “I love you” and “do you want to go to a football game” were my two worst pick-up lines in high school. I’m not the type to wish an actual death on anyone. I’ll wish hyperbolic death on you all day, but I’m not gonna find any joy if Sandusky gets murdered in prison. If that happens, I’m going to feel the same way I do now — that the human brain can be the best or most f**ked up thing in the world, and that this man was impossibly sad in addition to being destructive and awful. People will still argue the value of college football record-keeping against human decency, and all we’ll really be left with is audio clips like these of a man saying “I love you” to people he raped.

I don’t know where to go with this, except far, far away.

[h/t to Bob's Blitz]

In the past, regarding the Jerry Sandusky scandal and Penn State, we have tried to be as mature and considerate as we possibly could be, because we are not sports preachers, at least not most of the time. We do not profess to be journalists, nor are we out to provide big scoops and breaking news. We’re just a couple of guys who like to present prominent sports stories and Kate Upton news with a touch of humor.

There is nothing funny about what Jerry Sandusky did, and with that there is nothing funny about the Freeh Report’s findings, released this morning. Sure, there were jokes to be made about the name Freeh Report, but we don’t have any jokes about what Sandusky is currently rotting in prison for. I don’t have much of a response to what the findings revealed about Joe Paterno, because it reaches far beyond “disappointing”. I also can’t bring myself to read the entire Freeh Report, because I’m a natural pessimist. I think this world is spiraling into chaos and I’d love to spend my last 150-160 years on this planet on an island. God knows what reading the entire report would do to my brain.

But you can read it if you’d like. All 250+ pages are available right here. If you’re a Penn State student, student-athlete, alumni, fan, and/or employee, you’re not going to like any of it. Nobody is going to like any of it. There will be outrage. There are already people calling for the NCAA to drop the death penalty hammer, Penn State to destroy Joe Paterno’s statue, and probably much worse.

Again, we have nothing funny to say about any of it.

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