With the 2012 Summer Olympics wrapped up and the NFL season still a few weeks away, the standard summer sports boredom that we all suffer has been lessened to some extent – unless you like baseball and America. But slow news day and all, I’ve been a little distracted by this video that was Tweeted out by comedienne Jenny Johnson over the weekend. It appears that Kim Kardashian isn’t the only talentless woman in her family with dreams of pop music superstardom based on the low expectations and poor taste of this great country.

At some point in the 1980s, the Kardashian matriarch, Kris Jenner, decided to give singing a try in a video that she recorded to honor of all her famous friends. It was basically a VHS lesson in name-dropping. And right there in the middle of the whole, terrifying butchering of a Randy Newman classic is O.J. Simpson, the reason that we even have these wretched fame leeches in the first place.

As always, I watched it, so you get to watch it now. Fair is fair, friends.

Read the rest of this entry »

While gathering material for last week’s Best Of Kate Upton On DeviantArt gallery, I noticed a lot of mislabeled pictures of Kate as “Brooklyn Decker”, because people seriously cannot tell them apart. I investigated further and discovered that an Adam Sandler movie and a role as BATTLESHIP LADY in Battleship earn you just as many fans and weird onlookers as a GQ popsicle cover.

So in the spirit of “what, why does this exist”, here’s part two in our series exploring the best portraits and worst Jungle Book-related bondage photoshoppery of DeviantArt.com. If you missed last week’s piece, DeviantArt is a place where people get together to tell each other that the pictures they cobbled together of naked manga characters kickboxing in the jungle are “so creative”.

What you’ll find inside: A few good drawings, a few bad ones, Brooklyn Decker as a giantess (and a clown) and a thing where someone made it look like Brooklyn was giving herself a wedgie. Tread lightly, folks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday I wrote a little about sexy Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke, and how we’d helped make her life miserable by exposing her to the creepy nooks of sexy and parody on the Internet. That got me thinking a lot about Kate Upton, a woman who purposefully used the Internet to wedge herself into those nooks, and how she’d been cyclically berated and celebrated by the Internet all year. Then I thought a little more about her, and I had to lie down.

The go-to spot online for bizarre online worship (assuming you don’t want a Chan page popping up in your browser history) is DeviantArt.com, a place where people of varying artistic ability upload their work, mention how they put no effort into it and showed it to you for no reason, then obsessively beg you for praise. So, uh … it’s like a blog, but in crappy sketch form.

Anyway, with Kate’s rise to prominence in 2012 via Sports Illustrated and Cat Daddying comes an increase presence on DeviantArt, so I’ve put together a collection of my favorite pieces. Inside: Kate being beaten up by Street Fighter characters, a little tentacle porn and a Nightmare On Elm Street crossover.

Yeah, I don’t know either.

Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s face it – this has been a pretty sh*tty week for sports. I went to a bar last night to watch the Raiders-Chargers game and every conversation around me was Penn State this and Joe Paterno that. I even met San Diego Padres pitcher Luke Gregerson and we talked about how much I hated that the St. Louis Cardinals traded him for Khalil Greene, but after a minute or two everything was back to Penn State.

Hell, I tried to change the subject to Wilson Ramos, the Washington Nationals catcher who was kidnapped from his own home in Venezuela. On any other day that’s a huge, world-stopping story. But not with this Penn State stuff going down. And it’s depressing as all hell. So I thought we could all use a little pick-me-up today.

The other night, Victoria’s Secret Angels did their thing for their annual fashion show at the Lexington Avenue Armory in New York City. The event featured performances from Adam Levine, Kanye West, and Nicki Minaj, who constantly looks like she’s taking a dump, but we don’t care about any of that. Not even that Leonardo DiCaprio was in attendance, apparently shopping for his latest treat. Nope, we deserve to be cheered up, so I’ll let the models take it from here.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’ve been anywhere near Twitter or a TV in the past 12 hours, you’ve heard about the 8.9 magnitude that has rocked Japan, creating a tsunami that is still washing away everything in its path in the Miyagi Prefecture of northern Japan. It’s terrifying, really, so I felt compelled to point out some links and give anyone interested a place to discuss those events here.

• Images of the devestation can be found here. You will not be the first person to exclaim that these look like promotion still from any generic Hollywood disaster movie. Or the last.
• Al Jazeera is streaming a live news feed on YouTube. Yes, it’s in English.
• The tsunami is not expected to significantly impact the United States. Hawai’i has seen waves up to seven feet tall on its shores, and residual tsunami waves are expected to appear on the west coast. Even though those waves are not expected to be more than a few feet high, some southern California beaches are closing.
• Google has set up a person finder tool and a crisis response page.
• Late night TV host Jimmy Kimmel was visiting French Polynesia when the tsunami hit Sendai, Miyagi, about 6000 miles away from him. After a questionable attempt at humor, Kimmel reported that he and others were evacuating.
• The least deplorable humor-infused tsunami remark on Twitter came from Dave Chappelle, who tweeted, “maybe the Playstation 4 will be water-proof”…
• …but this might actually be worse than what Chappelle said.

Finally, here’s a video from a guy that apparently sat through one of the aftershocks of the quake. We’ll update this throughout the day; feel free to send us anything you find or write at withleather-tips@uproxx.com.

video via @edsbs.

Japan has once again proven that it’s the international leader in creating things both adorable and dangerous, as one of the hottest trends in the comically futuristic country is owning a tricked out super-charged low-rider scooter. From a London Paper gallery awesomely titled “Oversized pimped-up super scooters are the latest must-have fashion accessory among Japanese teens”:

Complete with oversized exhausts these colourfully extravagant 250cc scooters are the ultimate accessory for the Japanese teenager. Designed and created by Yamaha, Suzuki and Honda among others, the unique customised bikes are set to storm the world.

[Customer Scooter magazine editor Matsushita] Hisashi said the type of people buying them vary among mechanics, delivery drivers and lots of girls.

In a seemingly unrelated story, Japanese teens are the latest thing that oversize pimps must have access to.  At least, that’s what Double-XL Weezy told me the last time I was looking for a “date.”