I’m not much of a gambling man, as I would hate to end up the subject of a 30-for-30-style documentary about incredibly handsome bloggers who blew their entire fortunes by losing money at picking Top Chef winners. I do, however, appreciate a good gentleman’s bet, or in this case a very attractive lady’s bet, in which money is cast aside for personal humiliation.

Unfortunately, I do not know the terms of the bet that resulted in a 23-year old Russian girl named Alina Borodina (above, as identified by Red Hot Russia) running through traffic on a busy street in just her bikini. What I do know is that Alina is a very wonderful person and I would very much like to introduce her to my mother. Also, her name rhymes and that means she might be a Disney princess, in which case she’s ridiculously wealthy.

While I don’t really have any further context to this video, I do have a theory as to why this woman “humiliated” herself by running around in a bikini.

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A few quick truths:

1. With Leather doesn’t really have a signature animal. Sure, we’ve tried to get sea otters over as our thing, but nobody comes here for specific animal content in the way they might’ve, say, Warming Glow.

2. Sledding is more of a recreational activity than a “sport,” but it requires a small amount of athletic prowess. Slightly harder than hanging motionless on the monkey bars, but easier than the slide.

3. It’s Friday, and the only things going on in the LOL LOOK AT THIS sports world are Harlem Shake videos and … additional Harlem Shake videos.

So, with those three things accepted as facts, here’s a clip of SLEDDING PUGS. Okay, so it looks like somebody just put them in sweaters, dumped them into a storage bin and decided to drag them around in the snow against their will, but still, pugs in sweaters in a sled. The fabric softener commercial music in the background is a nice touch.

As a resident of hot-ass Texas who lives with a lady who is allergic to dogs, I’m going to pretend that this is what winter is like. SLEDDING PUGS, Y’ALL.

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Hey, have you ever wanted to shoot chainsaws with a bazooka slingshot?

Finally. At last. The Holy Grail of Launcher Ammunition is a reality!

The Slingshot Channel, back to “normal mode”, uses the slingshot Bazooka first presented in the Witch Hunter Trilogy (http://slingshotchannel.blogspot.de/2013/01/the-witch-hunter-trilogy.html) to fire the undisputed King of Projectiles – a vertiable Chain Saw.

See how the huge shoulder mounted rubber bazooka fires the heavy Black and Decker tool into the air, and then against a thick archery mat.

Highlights of the chainsaw slingshot include a cheek guard (to keep the rubber band from RIPPING OFF YOUR EAR), a bayonet on a stick (it’s very lethal, he thinks) and a bald guy with a threatening accent wearing a shirt about BITCHES.

See if you can find the proper tone in this video, because I can’t. One minute he’s shilling for comments using a Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters poster, the next he’s sending javelins through archery boards and cackling like a super villain at his “brutal hit.” Hell, I can’t even figure out whether or not this is Robin Williams in a bald cap, just f**king with us.

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This Instagram image doesn’t come with a lot of context — all that accompanied it in its tweet was “Just girls bein girls” — but hey, Kate Upton, Stacy Keibler and Maria Menounos hung out last night, all sat on the same side of the table (?) and made facetious mustaches with their chopsticks.

Sorry to be all “uh here’s this one picture” about it, but I thought you should be made aware. Yesterday was my birthday, so I like to think they got together to celebrate it and I just missed the e-vite. Thanks, ladies, I appreciate it.

(Also, I can’t wait for mustaches to stop being funny.)

[h/t to @BoondyAlBoondy]

Want this now, please and thank you.

How many times have you been stuck in traffic after work, listening to nothing but terrible sports talk radio and, even worse, the growls of your hungry stomach? “Man,” you’d think to yourself unless you’re a girl, “What I wouldn’t give to be home right now, sinking my teeth into a juicy steak while my babe tells me how her pole dancing class went.” But all the while, you’d just keep glancing over to the car next to you, wondering why in the hell someone put wood paneling on the side of a f*cking PT Cruiser. Well, what if I told you that you never have to go hungry in your car again?

Thanks to an Australian radio show host named Merrick Watts, the world was given its first “Carbeque” back in November, as the automobile and grilling fanatic combined his two loves to turn the trunk of his 1973 Ford Langau into a full-blown BBQ grill. And to make it all even better, Watts had the car painted and detailed to look just like the “Last of the VB Interceptors” from Mad Max, because why the f*ck wouldn’t you do that?

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The NHL Lockout is over (HALLELUJAH), so I can get back to talking about what really matters — cats trying to do things and failing miserably. If you’re worried about this not being sports related, two points: 1) it’s Monday morning, so give me a break, and 2) one of those cats belongs to Ray Lewis. (h/t to Bob’s)

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Links

Meet The Awesome Mom Who Made Her Son Sign An 18-Point Contract To Get His First iPhone |UPROXX|

The Best And Worst Of Geek Culture 2012 (Part 1) |Gamma Squad|

The Vikings May Have Lost, But This Minnesota Local News Report Wins Everything |Warming Glow|

Pictured: Arnold Schwarzenegger crushed a car with a tank today |Film Drunk|

The Best Of Vintage WWF Royal Rumble Promos |With Leather|

Vampire Weekend To Release Third Album This Spring |Smoking Section|

Ray Lewis Bid Farewell To The Dirt |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

!–more–>

13 Actors Whose Faces You Know From TV But Names You Don’t |Buzzfeed|

27 Cats Who Can’t Believe What They Just Saw |HuffPost Comedy|

The 12 Most Important Sneakers Over The Last Decade |Giant Life|

Napoleon Wasn’t Short, Vikings Didn’t Wear Horned Helmets, and 3 More Historical Misconceptions |Mental Floss|

What to Say When Someone Knocks on the Bathroom Door |College Humor|

Jackie Chan’s 10 Best Stunts |Unreality|

Cinema’s Most Dynamic Duos of 2012 |Pajiba|

Blackface Is Still Totally Cool in Germany, Apparently |Hypervocal|

Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks |Smosh|

“Top 10 Worst Solo Albums by Superstar Band Members” is just begging for a fight |Fark|

20 Athlete Crushes from Your Childhood |Brobible|

A Close Encounter With A Polar Bear |High Definite|