Quick show of hands. Who’s tired of zombies?

If your hand isn’t up, you’re going to love this clip for a Norwegian sporting goods store called XXL. In it, a town gets attacked by zombies and the citizens band together and kill them using sports. And, uh, fine sporting goods, available at your local XXL, I guess! Zombies lose their arms trying to play golf, get soccer balls kicked at their heads and get herded into a stadium where a bunch of hockey guys and gymnasts and waiting to Braveheart them to death.

It’s the kind of thing that wins Emmy awards in the United States, but the people of Norway weren’t having it — the commercial is getting the Madonna “only play it after x-o’clock” treatment, because I guess “in the middle of the night, when you are lonely and watching television” is the only time you are mentally prepared to be hypothetically killed by dead people.

Despite its gratuitous comical nonsense, viewers in Norway complained after the commercial for sporting goods store XXL aired during family-oriented programming, calling it irrelevant, disgusting and stupid, according to a Huffington Post translation of a Norwegian news website.

The commercial will now air after 9 p.m., when it will target teenagers and other zombies. (via HuffPo)

Of course, this is HuffPo, so there’s a chance the website said, “lol, watch this funny commercial” and nobody in Norway cares.

Anyway, here’s the clip. Wait until after 9 PM to watch it, please.

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From CNN, to catch you up.

At least 76 people died in Norway in a terror attack July 22 that started with a bomb blast in the capital Oslo and continued with an hour-long gun rampage at a camp for Labour Party teens and young adults on nearby Utoya Island.

Of course, that didn’t stop New Zealander Cameron Leslie from gunning his lats. Cameron was at an gymnasium and was an eye witness to the initial attack, a car bomb that exploded between government buildings in Regjeringskvartalet, the executive government quarter of Oslo. He was interviewed about his experience on a New Zealand television station, and if you think he’s got a compelling story or a poignant point of view about the shattered lives and blood-soaked faces that immediately surrounded him … you might be putting too much faith in humanity.

The choice excerpts were transcribed by our friends at Off The Bench, and I ask you enjoy them, but Jesus Christ.

“Secondly, also for the fact that when the blast went off I was on the eighth repetition of a 165-KG bench press, uh, you know, that’s quite a lot of weight.

“You know we had ceiling and stuff come down around us, we had a lot of confused looking faces, and shortly after we heard an announcement over the speaker phone to evacuate the area as quickly as possible, people started leaving, uh, naturally I finished my sets and then quickly made my way to the second level.”

Naturally. He then added “I asked the guy to my right to spot me, but he couldn’t, because he no longer had arms”. Imagine how mad you’d be if a week after 9/11, some guy showed up on Wake Up Wisconsin talking about how he was doing chin-ups on the roof of the World Trade Center when the plane hit, and he thought “heh, whoa, that’s weird” and finished up, did a little yoga and calmly waltzed down the stairs. If only his collar had been popped, we might’ve been witness to the douchiest f**king guy in cultural history.

Professional high diver Darren Taylor is more famously known as Professor Splash, and for the past 25 years the Colorado native has traveled the world, breaking records for shallow water diving. According to his website, Splash is regarded as the greatest stunt diver in the world, and I will take his word for that because I’m not going to lose an important thought by learning another new fact about high diving.

The good professor boasts that he holds World Records in Italy, Spain, Germany, Japan and the United States, and while I’m not sure how you can hold world records in different countries, I’ll admit I’m a little out of my element here. Splash’s latest Guiness World Record was recorded recently at the University of Science and Technology in Norway, after he dived from 35 feet into 12 inches of water. And they say that Americans can’t be the best anymore.

Video of Professor Splash’s insanity world record after the jump…

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As best I can tell from the description of this video on YouTube, this is Norwegian TV reporter Ingerid Stenvold. In the back of the car on the left is cross country skier/biathlete Lars Berger. Lars has some ideas about what he'd rather Ingerid be doing.

The first American athlete to do this behind Erin Andrews becomes my hero for my life.