Oh, sorry. I hope you have a better afternoon, Norv Turner! (via Diehard Sport)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

25 Reasons Why Jennifer Lawrence Thinking She’s ‘Obese’ Is Ridiculous |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Anne Hathaway And Rihanna |Warming Glow|

Lincoln Review: Spielberg’s best movie in years, but is it any good? |Film Drunk|

Meet Don Martini, The Totally Sane, Awesome Retiree Who Built His Own Giants Stadium |With Leather|

5 Reasons Bond Should Go Sci-fi Again |Gamma Squad|

Conan O’Brien Considers A Wes Anderson-Directed “Star Wars: Episode VII” |Smoking Section|

And I Dub Thee Unforgotten |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Read the rest of this entry »

It's good to know that quality spoofs are still popping up well over a month after Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy's insane rant debuted.  Here the "coach" delivers an incisive rebuke to those who might speak ill of a hurricane for not performing on game day, and I have to admit, I like both the idea and execution.  I think football coaches should be tapped to do the weather more often: "Winter is what we thought it was!" and what have you.

I guess accuracy would be the only problem.  Norv Turner is already predicting a lot of rain in San Diego.  Or maybe just cloudy days for Chargers fans :( 

[The creatively named SEC Football Blogger via Yardbarker]

Yes, yes: we heard.  Brett Favre broke Dan Marino's record.  Yippee.  We're all thrilled.  But since Favre didn't suck, that's all the mention he gets from With Leather.  We've got more pressing issues, like figuring out if the Eagles' offensive line is less competent than Norv Turner (trick question: no one is more incompetent than Norv Turner). So, on with the Suck-Off:

The Dolphins' defense gets a nod, as the Raiders rolled up 300 yards rushing in a 35-17 win tentatively titled Culpepper's Revenge – sounds like a swashbuckling high-seas adventure, but Daunte (3 TD's rushing, 2 passing) been asked to stay away from boats.  And the Rams need to be applauded for their consistent, all-around sucking: the defense and offense looked equally bad in falling to 0-4 with a 35-7 loss to the Cowboys.  Elsewhere in the NFC, Brian Griese was not the solution the Bears needed, as he tossed 3 INT's while Chicago gave up 34 points in the 4th quarter of a 37-27 loss to the Lions.

Which brings us to our final two, Norv Turner and the Eagles offensive line.  ¿Quien es mas sucko?  Well, Norv's got some pretty impressive credentials.  You've got to be a pretty big fuck-up to take a 14-2 team and make it 1-3 by losing to a Chiefs team that looked like one of the worst in the league the first three weeks of the season.  But Norv's the easy choice, and I like to reward record-breaking performances, so I'll give it to the Eagles O-line (specifically second-year LT Winston Justice), which allowed Giants defenders to rack up 12 sacks in Philly's 16-3 embarrassment last night.  Suddenly those throwback unis don't look so bad.

Two stories dominated the NFL landscape yesterday: the be-throwbacked Eagles hanging 56 points on the Lions, and the surprising Packers improving to 3-0 by shocking the Chargers.  But everyone's looking at those games with optimistic eyes; the real story, as always, is in the sucking. 

While the Lions' defense gets a nod for allowing an average of two touchdowns per quarter, I'd like to put the sucklight on the gentleman on the left there.  See, the Chargers know what they're doing.  They fired Marty Schottenheimer because he had a reputation for solid regular seasons before playoff failure.  And the Chargers front office couldn't deal with that kind of postseason heartbreak.  So they brought in a guy who could really get the job done — take an exceptionally talented team, and lead them to regular season failure.  Way to go, San Diego!  No more heartbreaking losses in January.

Also receiving Suck-Off votes: Most people on the field in the Vikings-Chiefs game… The Rams, who really, really suck… And the Redskins' coaching staff.  Whatever you guys do, don't get the ball to Santana Moss or Clinton Portis when the game is at stake.

The San Diego Chargers have filled their coaching vacancy by hiring Norv Turner, a move that send a clear message to San Diego fans, and that message is fuck you. The Chargers administration obviously hates the people of San Diego, because nobody could make such a foolish hiring by accident. It's simply a malicious act, one targeted at wasting a voracious defense and the transcendent talent of LaDainian Tomlinson.

The other possibility is that Norv Turner dabbles in the black arts, and cast some sort of spell on Chargers GM AJ Smith. But I can't believe that, either, because if Turner were a wizard he would have tricked his players into winning more over the course of his nine seasons as a head coach. Seriously, his career coaching record is 58-82-1. In nine years his teams made the playoffs once.

How can you be that obviously bad and still get hired? What does his resume look like? I bet it's just a picture of him wearing a Motorola headset, with an inscription in crayon that reads going 2 tha super bowl aww yeeeah.

"Well, Mr. Turner, I heard that you were a terrible coach, but according to this picture you really know how to wear a headset, and you seem determined to win a championship. When can you start?"