Bowls – Missouri topped my alma mater Northwestern in a close-fought, 30-23 overtime battle. Jeremy Maclin is getting due credit for the win, but Mizzou kicker Jeff Wolfert missed a 44-yard field goal at the end of regulation, meaning that if the Wildcats hadn’t blown a PAT, they would have won their first bowl game since 1949. Wheeee. God, I hate it when I care.
In a related story, Jason Whitlock is bitter he didn’t get into the Medill School of Journalism.
NCAA Hoops — #8 Georgetown upset #2 UConn in Hartford. Eh, wake me up in March.
NFL – Rod Marinelli, Romeo Crennel, and Eric Mangini all got canned yesterday. In more interesting news, the NFL is finally moving the Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl. Holy crap, people might actually watch it!
This Big Ten Network commercial surfaced on Awful Announcing yesterday, and even if you're not clued into all the foibles of the coaches in the country's Midwesternest conference, it's worth it just to hear Joe Paterno fight off dementia long enough to try to complete a sentence. Also, for the record, Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald looks like every Marine infantry officer I've ever known: thick neck, deep-set eyes, Cro-Magnon forehead. Thank God the Marine Corps doesn't have Northwestern's record.
After the jump is the highly recommended, new and improved version from Every Day Should Be Saturday and demented image wiz LSUfreek. It's like watching Mr. Subliminal, if Mr. Subliminal were funny and on cocaine.
The Big Ten tournament just got underway a few minutes ago, so now seems like a good time to use this SI on Campus photo of the day from last month. I can't say I know much about Michigan basketball specifically, but I'm not inclined to question the veracity of the claim made by these MSU students. I certainly watched more of 2girls1cup than I have any Big Ten game so far this year.
If you're the gambling type, don't sleep on my Northwestern Wildcats — they went 1-17 in-conference this year, so you just know they're due for a run! I hope they've got their Dancin' shoes shined and ready to go! ROWR!
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Remember last week when I telegrammed Norman, OK and Austin, TX to remind their football squads that they were in the Big 12 and not in the Big Ten, and thus were not allowed to lose to just any team. I received many emails regarding the humor of that line that read something like "Good one, KD" or "You're funny for a Dutch-Irishman" (Note: No complimentary emails were actually received). That wasn't a joke sexy readers, as the final tallies of the Middle West's 11-team conglomeration of fecal matter attests.
First, Illinois defeated #5 Wisconsin. And you thought you buried Chief Illiniwek at Wounded Knee. Well you were wrong. Really wrong. And by 'you', I mean 'me'. And by 'really wrong', I mean 'the Badgers will cover'. Then lowly Northwestern bested mighty Michigan State. Perhaps East Lansing's athletic squads should shed the Spartan nickname and adopt the name of that other tribe of Greeks that pussed out in The 300 - the Achaeans, I think? Can #23 Purdue upset #4 Ohio State? My pocketbook is strangely quiet on the subject. -KD
I was a fucking stupid 17-year-old. I had a great GPA and a good SAT score, and I decided to go to Northwestern. I based this decision off of things like the US News & World Report's college rankings and buildings with ivy on them. What I should have taken into account was the fact that I needed a parka for most of the school year in a town that was the heart of the temperance movement in the early 20th century.
I should have gone to UCLA. As LAist documents in a delightful photo essay, the students there have a midnight "Undie Run" on the third day of finals week.
Just look at those kids. So stressed out from all the studying. Seriously, Northwestern: Stop asking me for money.
The ACC, as always, has the advantage two days into the Big 10/ACC Challenge. I'm not really sure how to cover five games I didn't watch last night, but rest assured that the ACC won three of them, which has to be considered a pretty solid night for the Big 10, which is too bad. The Atlantic Coast has all sorts of things going for it, like beaches and cities. The Big 10 is pretty much the best thing about the Midwest, except for Chicago and the excellent gas mileage the lack of hills provides.
One of the wins last night for the Big 10: Northwestern over Miami. As many of you know, Northwestern has turned out such luminaries as the handsomest sports blogger in the world, Dan Shanoff, SI's Stew Mandel, and (rumored) a hot girl sometime last decade. Miami's alumni include Michael Irvin, 15% of everyone in the NFL, and wealthy South Beach girls with boob jobs. Northwestern's students face ice and snow half the school year; the U's student body is perpetually tan.
In other words, this is the first time in the history of everything that Northwestern has bested Miami at anything. Well, besides SAT scores. As if those mattered. If I had my choice between a girl who can read and Miami's Glam Rock Bikini Fashion Show (pictured)… ummm, I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
