I forget what company it is, but there’s been a new commercial with Marisa Miller airing lately, and it makes me sad because she’s all pregnant now. But the commercial was filmed either before she was pregnant or early on because she doesn’t have a bump, and it’s like, why’d she have to go and get all pregnant on us? How selfish can one woman be?

But it’s like my dad always says: “Sure, a woman might be pregnant and that could ruin her appeal, but in nine months that kid’ll be out and she’ll have bigger cans.” My dad is a poet, naturally.

Also, Marisa is a San Francisco Giants fan and she’s probably bummed right now that the St. Louis Cardinals are up 3-1 in the NLCS. Oh the fun we could have had if she had answered all of my letters about wanting to marry her.

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Word around the Tweeters right now is that the weather looks pretty bleak in my beloved hometown of St. Louis, but the league has assured both teams that the game will be played tonight no matter what (UPDATE: They’re obviously playing). That’s awesome news, because either way I won’t be able to watch it tonight because I work too much and MLB.tv likes to take my money but only let me watch playoff baseball from really sh*tty angles (UPDATE 2: MBL.tv’s Postseason Package allows me to watch the ALCS but not the NLCS, so thanks for that, MLB).

That said, I’m glad we’re all back to loving the Cardinals and agreeing that they’re the best team to cheer for in the playoffs.

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So remember that whole revelation yesterday that everyone suddenly wants to hate the St. Louis Cardinals? Great job with that, Matt Holliday. Obviously, I knew that his flop into Marco Scutaro’s legs would immediately give the people I’ve been trying to talk some sense into everything they needed to justify unsubstantiated, pure hatred for the Cards, but part of me held out hope that someone might defend the big doofus. Nope.

Again, well done, Holliday. You better get that fly swatter you call a bat working tomorrow night or the 2-1 deficit will be on your shoulders. Meanwhile, tonight is all about the team that we don’t need a reason to hate. That’s right, the Detroit Tigers.

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Blogging icon and the Internet’s most famous St. Louis Cardinals fan Will Leitch recently penned a piece for Sports on Earth about the realization that some of us Best Fans in Baseball are dealing with – people f*cking hate the Cardinals. I didn’t notice it so much after the Cards won the World Series last year, as people just sort of nodded at their win and moved right along.

Now, though, as they’ve once again knocked off the team with the best record in baseball and are up 1-0 on the San Francisco Giants in the NLCS, people are really starting to show their hatred. Especially on Twitter. Who knew that people could be so mean on the Internet?

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I think even the pinkos and evangelicals alike can agree that cable companies are the spawn of Satan, and I bring you further evidence of that. And a panda. But let’s get to it: there’s a little spat happening between NewsCorp (which owns the FOX networks) and Cablevision (which provides service to areas of the New York City and Philadelphia markets). Basically, FOX wanted more money from Cablevision, they said no, blah blah blah, and so FOX’s coverage of the NLCS has been blacked out.

The Federal Communications Commission, instead of doing its job and mediating this dispute, decided its ridiculously broad authority would be put to better use by live-Tweeting updates of the game. How does this help anyone? This is the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. Nice job, federal government. At least the Tea Partiers could have drummed up some half-assed re-enactment. I’d love to see what they would have done with Tim Lincecum.

via The Consumerist.