Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Kate Upton.

It is not an easy task to put together a list, such as the Greatest Sports Moments of 2012, specifically because so many things happen in any given year that it’s all but impossible to universally gauge which one event or person is greater than another. But since we’re just a couple dudes who like to make fun of stuff and almost always ignore actual sports news, it’s really quite easy.

With that said, here’s a quick breakdown of how our team of fact checkers and sports analyst number crunchers determine which people, places and things were the most important and influential in 2012…

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While people want to turn video of Melissa Tancredi stepping on Carli Lloyd’s head into the next Zapruder film, I think the majority of us can agree that Argentina’s Facundo Campazzo blatantly hitting Carmelo Anthony in the nuts was one of the lowest points of Olympic competition. After all, there’s an unwritten law and a code among men that you should never smack another bro in the gooners unless it’s the absolute last resort. Campazzo did it because Chris Paul allegedly punched him earlier in that game, and that’s pretty much the ultimate bullsh*t excuse. Campazzo still hasn’t apologized to Anthony, but maybe he will apologize to his teammate Luis Scola when someone takes it out on him during an NBA game next season.

But we can stop talking about Campazzo now, because Nicolas Batum took the dick-punching cake today as he and Team France lost to Spain, 66-59. As you can see in the GIF above (Via Buzzfeed Sports) Batum absolutely wailed on Carlos Navarro’s turkey baster. At first I thought, “Well, Batum is probably punching at the ball.” But I was wrong, because Batum is both cheap and honest.

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