It’s A Pretty Crappy Year To Be A Hogan

Written by Ashley Burns / 12.05.11

We’ve obviously known for quite some time that Hulk Hogan and his wife, Linda, had gone through a nasty divorce in 2009. But a few weeks ago, the St. Petersburg Times finally revealed the details of that divorce and holy hell Hogan got suplexed.

Details from the settlement show Linda Bollea received $7.44 million of the couple’s $10.41 million that was held in bank and investment accounts. Terry Bollea got the remaining $2.97 million.

They also agreed to sell all of their properties and Linda receives $3 million of all property sales first, and then they’ll split all profits after that. Additionally, Linda took a bunch of Hulk’s cars and she gets a nice chunk of his personal brand earnings. This deal is so bad that even the NBA owners are like, “Dammmmmmmmmn.”

And now the news gets even worse for the Hogan family, who are no strangers to courtrooms after they eventually settled with the family of John Graziano – the former marine who will spend the rest of his life being treated by nurses because Nick drives like an asshole – for what is rumored to be $5 million. So it’s only fitting that Nick is in trouble again because of his driving. A woman is suing Hogan because of injuries she incurred when the two were involved in a car accident two years ago. God, I hate when those injuries just sneak up on you.

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Hulk Hogan’s Wedding Sounded Fun

Written by Ashley Burns / 12.16.10

Hulk “Terry Bollea” Hogan married his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel on Tuesday night at his home in Clearwater, Florida. And really, if you want to have a wedding that defines perfection, you really can’t go wrong with Clearwater, the city that gave us Hooters. But all was not peaceful and picturesque for Hogan and his new bride, as the Hulkster’s security team apparently got rough with a paparazzo that was taking pictures from 200 feet away, while standing in the ocean. No names were mentioned, but I’ve got $20 that says Brian Knobbs was involved.

And of course the photog in question wants to file charges and sue Hogan for physical, financial and emotional distress. I really hope that when the gates of hell open and Satan reigns over the sinners that he uses the paparazzi as toilet paper. But at least the 57-year old Hogan had a beautiful second wedding with his 35-year old new wife. That’s right, a 22-year difference. Hulk’s still my hero.

Whatcha gonna do, Your Tango, when Hulk’s saggy skin runs wild on you…

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