Now that the NBA has given all of the remaining playoff teams a well-deserved night off, instead of, you know, scheduling the games accordingly so that fans could watch their favorite stars play every night, we get to sit back and enjoy some games tonight. And since the Miami Heat play, we’ll hopefully get some more Chris Andersen antics for Shaquille O’Neal to talk about on TNT tomorrow night since he apparently loves talking about the Birdman.

That Shaq, such the comic genius. I, for one, can’t wait to see him return to the big screen in Grown Ups 2. In fact, if TNT could show that Grown Ups 2 playoffs ad more than it already does, I’d be so incredibly happy. It’s great to see Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James openly acknowledging how they play the same character in everything they’ve ever done. That’s true comedy.

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Too little, too late, Lonely Island guys. Spring Break has once again come and gone. Or maybe that was the point. Comedy has so many layers these days.

Also, I wouldn’t marry James Franco. He’s just so strange, like he’s trying way too hard to be an artist. I feel like I’d come home from a long day at the office and find him cheating on me and he’d be like, “It’s art, bro husband.” I’m not falling for that again, James.

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Last night, the Boston Bruins took a commanding 3-1 lead over the Toronto Maple Leafs in their first round Stanley Cup Playoffs series, and nobody really cares about that because Happy Endings star Elisha Cuthbert was in the crowd and – did that girl just get sassy with Alex Kerkovich?!?! Short answer – no. Long answer – still no, but with more clarification, obviously.

That young lady standing in front of Cuthbert is April Reimer, wife of Leafs goalie James Reimer, and since the goalie is the easiest person to blame any time the opposing team scores a goal, there’s a chance she wasn’t going to be very happy after the Bruins scored on her husband in overtime. That’s why this exchange between Elisha and April has us sassy Internet bloggers’ wives gossiping this morning.

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I was going to post that new TV commercial from Morgan & Morgan asking the Jacksonville Jaguars to sign Tim Tebow, but I knew that our beloved NFL expert Christmas Ape would be all over it. If you live outside of Central Florida, John Morgan’s ads are quite famous for the serious-yet-familiar tone, as he is one of the more famous faces in Orlando and beyond.

Instead, I forgot that I hadn’t done anything with this amazing music video that my Twitter friend Dan brought to my attention the other day. It has jumped more than 300,000 views since I first saw it and rightfully so. It’s also apparently based on a delightful true story (read here and here, from the bottom up). I hope that this isn’t the last that we’ve heard from Miss Wolf.

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Last night, as my beloved (when it’s convenient) St. Louis Blues were allowing the Los Angeles Kings to score two goals in the third period and even the series at 2-2 in the process, one of my favorite women in all of show business was not only attending that game, but she was also live-Tweeting the experience, as it was her first ever NHL game. That woman is Retta, who plays the wonderful Donna on Parks and Rec, and she was also the comedienne who delivered my favorite coverage for the 2012 Summer Olympics in Tweet form.

At that time, I pleaded with NBC through Twitter and telepathy to assign Retta to full-time Olympic coverage and now I’m asking the embattled home of my favorite TV show (Parks and Rec, obviously) to let her be an analyst for the rest of the NHL’s Stanley Cup Playoffs. I guarantee it would increase ratings by at least one person. That person being me. Hey, it beats the crap out of me making endless jokes about not knowing what channel the games are on.

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“Boston Strong” emerged as a motto for a city shaken by the terrorist bombings at the Boston Marathon. You may recall seeing that ribbon projected onto the ice during the incredible mass-singing of the Star-Spangled Banner before the 4/17 Bruins/Sabres game or hanging around while David Ortiz declared Boston “our f**king city.” It’s not about politics, and it’s especially not about sports … it’s about coming together and soldiering through any adversity forced upon you by the sickest people in the world, because you’re strong, and that’s all you can be.

I reiterate, it is not about sports.

Canada did not get that memo. Please direct your attention to Monday’s NHL Easter Conference quarterfinals game 3 between the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs, wherein a Leafs fan though it would be totally kosher to bring a Boston Strong parody sign. Again, just so I can make sure I’m typing this correctly, a hockey fan thought it would be awesome to make a parody ribbon and announce that “liking the Toronto Maple Leafs” is stronger than “rebuilding your city after an act of terror.”

Here you go:

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