Actor Rainn Wilson wanted tickets to Game 4 of the Western Conference Final between the Los Angeles Kings and the Phoenix Coyotes, so the wacky Kings Twitter team — the same team who helped build Stanley Cup sandcastles and just trolled Marlon Wayans (Marlon Wayans!) for liking basketball more than hockey — responded the only way they knew how: by referencing the first episode of ‘The Office’.

The exchange, by way of Puck Daddy:

I don’t blame them for referencing that instead of anything that’s happened since Jim and Pam got married (what’re they supposed to do, off him tickets inside of a boring storyline about who wants to run Dunder-Mifflin?), but if I was Wilson I’d trick them into phasing all their tweets in the form of meatballs.

Here’s a pic of Luc Robitaille presenting Dwight with his tickets, or one of the Blues Brothers getting a gift from Jason Bateman, I can’t really tell because they Instagram’d it and they might as well have been standing in a 1970s sandstorm:

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Imagine how good they’d be if every player gave two sh*ts. (via @hockeypuckck)

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Links

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Peter Berg calls Israeli interviewer a draft-dodger in probably the best interview ever |Film Drunk|

‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘A Man Without Honor’ |Warming Glow|

Thor Delivers Uncomfortable News To A Radio Listener |Gamma Squad|

Jay-Z Is Joining The Music Festival Business |Smoking Section|

Mad Men Discussion: Okay, Seriously, What The Hell Did January Jones Do To Matt Weiner? |UPROXX|

High School Student Makes World’s Worst Song Great |UPROXX|

After 20 Years, Columbia University Janitor Becomes A College Grad |Smoking Section|

George Lucas & The Housing That Spite Built, in Marin County |Film Drunk|

Usain Bolt Dumped His Hot Girlfriend For One Of Several Dumb Reasons |With Leather|

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As a Washington Capitals fan, I was stoked to see them top the New York Rangers on Wednesday and force a game 7. If I had to compare it to one thing, I’d compare it to the excitement Todd Beamer felt when he decided he was ready to roll on United Airlines Flight 93. Wait, no I wouldn’t, because that would be f**king ignorant.

But here we are. CBC’s Ron MacLean intro’d game 6 by comparing Ryan Callahan and Alex Ovechkin (pictured, right) to 9/11 first responders. Somehow this game wasn’t broadcast on the Onion News Network. “They ARE like police officers, they ARE like firefighters” is especially insipid, and the reason MacLean thinks dying in a collapsing skyscraper and one game of a seven game hockey playoff are similar is “you can’t fight fire with ego”. Or “eagle”, I’m not really sure what he’s saying. You can’t fight fire with either of them, and either word makes the same amount of sense in context.

Ron should spend the rest of the playoffs saying stuff like this, if only for the publicity. He could turn CBC into the Fox News of sports. I want to see him compare Marian Hossa to Trayvon Martin.

[video via Puck Daddy]

Creepy floating heads edition.

When I’m wrong, I’m the first to admit that I was wrong. And boy did the NBA’s defending champs make me look like a fool. Last week, I predicted that no team would be swept from the NBA Playoffs last week, and to make matters worse, I boasted that it was a sucker’s prediction because only one team had the possibility of sweeping its opponent through Saturday, and that was the Oklahoma City Thunder. But I thought for sure that Dirk Nowitzki and Co. would show some scrap and claw back for one win. Wrong.

Oh well, I never said that the prediction machine was a perfect beast, but it’s close to perfect, because I was right about everything else, including the winner of the Kentucky Derby*. And that builds enough confidence for me to move forward with another round of brilliant sports predictions.

*I did not pick the winner of the Kentucky Derby in last week’s post, but I was totally like, “Oh yeah, bros, I pick I’ll Have Another.”

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I have a few friends in Philadelphia, and after the Philadelphia Flyers eliminated the Model Franchise Pittsburgh Penguins with a 5-1 victory in Game 6 of their first-round playoff series on Sunday there was (Facebook) talk of a “dynasty”. A dynasty. After one playoff series victory in a row. If the Flyers lose between now and Lord Stanley’s Cup, those same people will complain about how hard the media tries to make Philly sports fans look like goons.

If they do win the Cup, however, it’ll be thanks to the efforts of fans like these and ‘Knock Knock’, the Karaoke In The Style of Mac Miller fan anthem performed by LiL LouiE C (his capitalization, not mine) (Free Lil Louie C with purchase of a regular sized Louie C*). As fan anthems go it’s not the worst we’ve heard, but it brings up three very important questions:

1. Why are other sports organizations so quick to bring the Terms And Services hammer down on YouTube users illegally uploading clips (like the Metta World Peace elbow we ended up having to gif), but 2:45 of this guy’s 3-minute video is Flyers clips and the NHL doesn’t lift a finger?

2. Is the defining characteristic of an “anthem” the fact that you went around town taping random townspeople lip syncing to your song in 2-second gestures? “Okay now go KNOCK KNOCK with your hands and mouth LET EM IN” etc.

3. Is that Turtle from Entourage?

Well, at least one of those questions has an answer:

[h/t to Philly Sports Live]
*joke credit to Jon Bois

My favorite part of NMA World Edition’s recap of the rising violence in the NHL Playoffs should be players drowning each other, morphing into literal devils and damage-dealing penguins (!) or attacking one another with rocket shoes, but it isn’t — it’s the fact that I guess Taiwanese animation doesn’t have a pre-rendered hockey helmet in their clip art so they just gave everybody motorcycle helmets. That’s amazing.

So yeah, here’s the blood and guts report from our favorite, barely-talented journalistic savants. Come for the fans high-fiving each other for getting hit with body parts, stay for the child-on-child violence.

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