After I woke up this morning and did a few thousand pushups, I checked my email to find two variations of this joke:

Andrew Luck and RG3 walk into a bar… to watch Russell Wilson play the Atlanta Falcons in the Divisional Round of the playoffs.

The other variation involved the Pope and Raquel Welch in a dhingy, but that’s irrelevant. The point is that people are enjoying the fact that the Indianapolis Colts, who famously Sucked for Luck, and the Washington Redskins, who mortgaged their draft future for Robert Griffin III, are out of the playoffs and the Seattle Seahawks, who took a chance on Russell Wilson in the 3rd round, are still alive. Because it’s not like 2/3 of NFL fans wouldn’t at least consider chopping a finger off to have Luck or RG3 as a QB right now.

Even stranger, though, is that so many fans – or perhaps “anti-Redskins” is more appropriate – rejoiced in RG3’s knee injury last night. Again, maybe it was just the fact that it meant that the Redskins were screwed, but there have been very few athletes over the years who I could have imagined feeling jubilation over their pain. Especially not someone as likable as RG3. But here we are, the morning after, stepping over the lifeless bodies of the men and women who overdosed on joy at another’s expense.

Of course, that means there were memes galore last night, what with this Internet being such a horrible place and all. But if they mocked Derrick Rose and Manny Pacquiao, you could be sure that the RG3 mockery was coming.

Read the rest of this entry »

via funnyandspicy.com

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

49ers Fans Voted No. 1 In Refusing To Leave A Playoff Game After Being Pepper Sprayed - I don’t care how much football is happening, if I get sprayed with pepper spray I’m either slitting throats or being driven the hell home sobbing. No inbetween. [Bay Bridge Banter]

Shank So Hard University - A celebration of karma coming back to haunt Joe Flacco for that “you guys should heap more praise on Joe Flacco” interview. At least Tebow seems like a cool guy when he’s done sucking dick at quarterback. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Your NFL Recap: 10 Things Learned From Championship Sunday - Thing 11: Don’t be Joe Flacco. Thing 12: If Joe Flacco says you should be talking more about Joe Flacco, ignore him and write some more about Tom Brady. Tom Brady is the baddest man on the planet. [Smoking Section]

Caring Is Easy. Apathy Is Work. - Putting this Joe Paterno business into context the only way I understand. Probably the only thing written about this online that made me go “sh*t, he’s totally right”. [@KillPrint]

Puppy Bowl VIII Is Coming: Resistance Is Futile. Prepare For Your Doom - …and only With Leather will have exclusive interviews with the stars. Just kidding, I’m going to put up puppy pictures and have the responses just say arf arf arf. [Pajiba]

TV Gifs Of The Week - I think Lizzy Caplan and Alison Brie is my ultimate fantasy threesome. Wait, no, I take that back, it’s still Gina Carano and Rachel Maddow. Shut up, I have awesome taste. And gender issues. But awesome taste. [Warming Glow]

NBA Dance Party - Just one picture, but one you’ll never forget. I could probably write a novel about it. [Buzzfeed]

Final Fantasy XIII-2 Demo: Finally, Skyrim Meets Pokémon - If modern Finals Fantasy was 10% as fun as either of those games I wouldn’t have abandoned it when Yuna became a pop singing tomb raiding ninja. TELL GOOD STORIES, SQUARE. [Gamma Squad]

Justin Bieber Is Obsessed With The 1996 Mark Wahlberg Film Fear - As we all SHOULD be. I hope if he remakes it he carries over Marky Mark’s accent. His pronunciation of “Mister Walker” as “missaWAHkah” is the best part. OH NO MISSAWAHKAH I WOULD NEVAH DO DAT TO YA DAUGHTAH. [Film Drunk]

The Best Of ‘Parks And Recreation’s’ #Jerry Gergich - Damn, Jerry! You jumped in a creek for a burrito? What’d you do for a Klondike bar? Kill your wife? [UPROXX]

Bon Jovi + Bon Iver = Bon Joviver - Try this: do an impression of what you think a 6-year old falsetto in a church choir sounds like. There you go, you just sang Bon Iver’s last 15 songs. [UPROXX]

Aerosmith frontman and American Idol judge Steven Tyler performed his version of the national anthem before Sunday’s AFC Championship between the New England Patriots and Baltimore Ravens, and most of Monday’s Internet has been about how terrible it was. The L.A. Times has a post up called Steven Tyler’s national anthem: Worst ever? [Poll], comparing it to similarly-awful versions by Roseanne Barr, Carl Lewis, Christina Aguilera and, worst of all, Scott Stapp. What could Tyler have possibly done in this lifetime to be compared to Scott Stapp? That’s like being told you’ve got 24 hours to live.

To recap, Steven Tyler:

1. is 63-years old.
2. is dressed like a lady hobo.
3. has more or less sung exactly the same song since he decided he wanted his voice to sound like a descending hawk circa 1975′s Toys In The Attic and has topped the popular music charts with at least 100 #1 singles in said voice since said album.

So, to reiterate … what exactly were you expecting from a Steven Tyler national anthem, America? He’s Steven Tyler. He sings like that. He is an old lady hobo. Did you expect him to bust out a Josh Groban-ass Ave Maria? I’m surprised we got through it without him going WHACK-ACK-OW, WHACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-OWWW and a pelvic mic stand thrust.

Video of the performance is below. Compare and contrast it to any Aerosmith video on YouTube, especially the ones with teenage Alicia Silverstone and/or Liv Tyler in leather pants.

Read the rest of this entry »

Two things about this:

1. If Kanye West and Jay-Z name a song “Niggas In Paris” and release it as a single for top 40 radio, I am not going to feel weird about typing “Niggas In Paris” on this blog. That’s the name of the song. Also, for like two months I thought people were talking about Joni Mitchell.

2. Fan songs are supposed to be bad. They’re supposed to be what you upload when you’ve downed too many Coors Lights and think it’d be funny to say “Fister” instead of “sister”. They’re for bragging about how your team is going to win the Super Bowl three games into the season and nothing bad could possibly happen.

Those things being said, this San Francisco 49ers fan song set to “Niggas In Paris” is really freaking good and manages to be both cleverly written AND time appropriate. They could’ve just done ‘Red And Yellow’ or whatever and been fine, but they put in an effort, and I appreciate it. An example, courtesy of Shutdown Corner‘s expert transcription skills:

Ball so hard, let’s stop Cruz. Manningham’ll be locked up, too.
If you was hit like Pierre was hit, you probably gon’ cough the ball up, too.

And hopefully you don’t need me to explain why “that Smith cray” is great. Drunk Texas Train Lady needs to step up her game. Suggestion: a Baltimore Ravens song called “Murder to Excellence”.

Women be crownin'.

The 2012 Miss America Pageant took place on Saturday night at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, and I don’t think that I need to tell you any more details because you were all undoubtedly watching, and perhaps betting heavily on your favorite ladies. Ultimately, Miss Wisconsin Laura Kaeppeler was crowned Miss America and as you can see above, she celebrated with the obligatory tears of shock while her peers congratulated her. I assume they all then left for the pillow fight.

But Kaeppeler stole the show early on when she invoked the name of the almighty Aaron Rodgers as she playfully flirted with the QB of the Green Bay Packers.

“If you’re watching, Aaron Rodgers, call me,” she said when introducing herself to the audience.

(Via USA Today)

Rodgers and the Packers saw their chances for a Super Bowl repeat shredded by the New York Giants yesterday, as they turned the ball over four times while Eli Manning and Hakeem Nicks tap danced to the tune of 37-20 on their fresh graves. I assume that Rodgers is pretty bummed about it, but it’s nice to know that he can always fall back into the waiting arms of just about any girl on the planet, including Miss America.

Obviously, we’ve discussed the awesomeness that is Rodgers plenty in the past, but I can’t help but wonder at what point his status as a Grade A Poon Hound switches from endearing to annoying.

Read the rest of this entry »

When it comes to Playboy Magazine, I look at it a lot like “Saturday Night Live.” Both are iconic institutions that have created sources of inspiration for many people over the last three decades or more, and both were revolutionary at their respective times of inception. On the other hand, they’ve both been running on fumes creatively for roughly the last 10 years or so, as they’ve surrendered to the status quo instead of constantly trying to raise the bar, as any source of creativity and imagination should.

And while both are criticized immensely for their lack of effort and uninspired retreads, Playboy at least has boobies, and that’s why we’re here today. Despite Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos being on the wrong end of a 45-10 annihilation against the New England Patriots on Saturday, people still love them some Tebow, and that includes a bunch of Playboy Playmates, who spent last week Tweeting pictures of themselves Tebowing. Despite their best, incredibly sexy efforts, Tebow did not succumb to their seductive ways as he continues to save himself for the virginal Katy Perry.

On a sadder note, with the playoffs over for the Broncos, so ends the excitement that we’ve had with Tebowmania. Frankly, I’m a little exhausted from the whole thing, so unless some actual news suddenly breaks out, we’re gonna take a little break from discussing everything Tebow after today. At least for a day until I remember how awesome his name is for web traffic. Until then, bring on the sexy ladies!

Read the rest of this entry »