Last time we heard from Denny Green, he was chomping at the bit to reunite with Daunte Culpepper and become the Head Coach and GM of the UFL’s Sacramaneto Mountain Lions. Unfortunately, things seem to have taken a turn for the worse. His son, former NFL scout and ESPN contributer Jeremy Green, was arrested on July 8th for possession of child pornography.

Jeremy Green, a former NFL scout and the son of former NFL coach Dennis Green, hasn’t been able to make bail on charges that include possession of child pornography.

Green, 38, has been in jail since his July 8 arrest at a Connecticut hotel. The former ESPN contributing writer pleaded not guilty yesterday to the porn charge, and to charges of possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia.

His public defender, Claud Chong, told the Hartford Courant his client’s $750,000 bail amount was “outrageous” for a non-violent crime, and added that, “There’s nothing special about this particular defendant that would warrant such a high bond.” –USAToday

Forgive me, Claud, if I don’t feel too much sympathy for a guy who wants to bang kids. Maybe he deserves to spend time in jail for breaking the law. Although, that would make way too much sense for the bureaucrats running the courts, I guess.

Our favorite Cowboys coach of all time boner pill spokesman, Jimmy Johnson, will take his talents to CBS for the newest season of Survivor. Despite being 67 and unable to get an erection, I still feel that he’s qualified. I’d rather be stranded on a deserted island than in the same room as Terry Bradshaw for hours on end.

Mark Francesutti and Barry Horn of the Dallas Morning News reported early Tuesday morning that Johnson joined the cast of Survivor, which started taping at the end of June. Taping only lasts 39 days, so Johnson will be back well before the FOX studio show starts.

The idea seems bizarre, but Johnson previously mentioned in an interview he almost joined the cast a few years back, but he failed a physical. (Maybe those pills he’s taking really do help!) –PFT

Is Jimmy Johnson going senile? Why would he do this? I can’t imagine he needs the money, he’s getting checks from Fox and Extenze. Maybe Fox isn’t paying him enough. He deserves a raise for humiliating himself every week. Made-up reports indicate that the Extenze marketing department is talking to Keith Olbermann, only to ensure that their advertising is fair and balanced. I’ll bet that the ladies on the The View have something to say about Jimmy’s decision making. Their take after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Luckily, Keyboard Cat is on staff to play people off at a moment’s notice.

Kickers have always been an important part of football. In a matter of seconds, a kicker can completely change the fortunes of a game. The kicker has always been an eccentric breed, and while undoubtedly important to a team’s success, seems only be given recognition for bad plays.

Well a lot of the time that negative recognition is well earned. Sometimes, a kicker’s mistake is of historical proportions. And then, only then, is it worthy or our attention and scorn. Well, ladies and gentlemen, you’re in luck. You’ve got me to breakdown the greatest kicker fails in NFL history. Let’s get started, shall we? Read the rest of this entry »

Lobster Dog doesn’t mind Kimmy’s surgery one bit.

God, I love twitter. Nothing’s better than trolling the internet, bored as hell, when something like this pops up on your feed.

Mann I just walked pass Kim kardashian and WTF has she done to her self I didn’t even know it was her- please leave the surgery alone!! Omg –Twitter via Sports Illustrated

I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Darnell, but you’re entitled to your opinion. You’re also a mountain of a man, who could easily crush me like a soda can, so I’ll let this one slide. Kimmy K hotness, for the second day in a row, after the jump. Like you’re really going to bitch about it. Read the rest of this entry »

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin had a breakout season last year, and has been getting a taste of the celebrity life by dating the proner (that’s short for “pro boner”) Kim Kardashian. Miles must be whipped by Kimmy or, tired of slumming it with the hussies pictured above, because he’s turned down a six figure contract from Red Bull. Why would he do such a thing? He doesn’t want to work alongside Kim’s former squeeze Reggae Reggie Bush.

The Dallas Cowboys Miles Austin likes following in Reggie Bush’s footsteps..but apparently he won’t follow Reggie on his latest endorsement deal.Miles has turned down a six-figure endorsement deal with Red Bull..According to my source, the reason Miles said no to Red Bull is because Reggie Bush already has a contract with the energy drink company..Kim did not want Miles to walk down that path..I hope Kim is gonna pay him back..how the hell does a dude turn down six figures..truth be told, he would have never gotten the offer if he was dating Kim Kardashian..-TO –Terez Owens

To be fair, Terez’s sources are generally a guy who knows a guy who drank a Red Bull once. But, assuming there’s truth behind the rumor, Miles is making an ardent stand for his independence. Turning down a ton of money because he’s so in love with a “celebrity reality TV star.” You know she’s dated almost everyone who’s tied on cleats, right Miles? So choosing to turn down all that money is going to look like some pretty bad judgment once she leaves you. Or once you leave her, whatever helps you sleep at night. At least you’ll have Jerry Jones to be your sugar daddy once things are done with Kimmy. Read the rest of this entry »

Alleged statutory rapist and former cocaine lover incredibly scary, New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor plead ‘not guilty’ to third degree charges of rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse, and endangering a child earlier today. The most serious offense is, of course, patronizing a prostitute. They don’t deserve to be talked down to, even if they aren’t real people.

Lawrence Taylor appeared in court today and entered a plea of not guilty to third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse and endangering a child.

As we noted this morning, the not guilty plea came as no surprise, as lawyer Arthur Aidala had already said publicly that Taylor will fight the charges, and claims he did not have sex with the 16-year-old girl in question. –PFT

Of course he wasn’t going to have sex with that 16 year old girl. L.T. was merely trying to inform her of the damages that come with prostituting such a young, supple, body at such a deliciously rape ripe age. And if that’s a crime, Your Honor, then I have nothing left to say. Read the rest of this entry »