I tend to stay away from the will-he-won’t-he clusterf**k that is a Brett Favre story in August, but this is just way too delicious to pass up. Sir Dr. Stephen Colbert, D.F.A, red-blooded American sports fan that he is, has had it just about up to here (/points to groin) with the shenanigans of he who stars in Peter King’s wet dreams. That’s why, when Favre said he would be retiring on August 3rd, Colbert made a very strong argument for why things should should stay that way.

Since everyone has become so serious about the return of Brett Favre with endless speculation and analysis, it is always welcome when someone can find the humor in all of this.

And who better than Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert, who in an earlier show threatened to wound the quarterback if he ever returned. –USA Today

I realize that Stephen may be somewhat of a polarizing figure politically. That being said, I’m sure we can all agree that, regardless of political beliefs, we have common enemies: hipsters, Al-Qaeda, and Brett Favre. Video magic comes after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

It will be a miracle if the Jacksonville Jaguars make this playoffs this season. So it’s not very surprising that they’ve decided to take a page out of the soccer mom playbook by making fun their top priority. And there’s nothing more fun than having rookies participate in an awkward black-guy-white-guy dance battle. Rookie linebacker and nephew of Brian Bosworth, Kyle Bosworth, is flying high and ballin’ while running back Deji Karim takes a more subtle approach with the stanky legg.

Bosworth proves once again that white men can’t dance or jump (looking at you, C Tate), but he appears to win by getting an ‘A’ for effort, not skill. Uncle Brian would have never pulled any s*it like that. He would have yelled until one of the veins in his neck popped, then peeled out in his Corvette, bikini babes draped on both arms. Video can be found here.

–via Sports Illustrated

Keith Olbermann has been on NBC’s Football Night in America since 2007, but will be torturing football fans no longer. Network suits have announced that nobody’s favorite SportsCenter personality will be leaving the sports world for good. NBC executives said the move was not caused by Olbermann’s political leanings, but because Peter King was being suffocated by his smugness. If you put it that way, maybe they should have kept him on air, at least for a couple more weeks.

Multiple media and network television sources confirmed to me Thursday that Keith Olbermann will not appear on NBC’s Football Night In America Sunday evening NFL broadcasts this season.

I’m told that NBC News officials requested the move, citing Olbermann’s weekday commitment to MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann. During the 2009 NFL season, Olbermann periodically did not appear on Friday editions of Countdown.

Network television sources confirmed to me that Olbermann’s departure from FNIA was not due to any conflict with cast or production crew members. I was also given no indication that Olbermann’s politics had anything to do with the move. –Sports by Brooks via –USA Today

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Terrell Suggs didn’t play up to his usual standards last season, and while some of the blame should rightfully fall upon an injury plagued season, a lot has to do with the LB packing on a few too many lbs.

A year ago, Baltimore Ravens outside linebacker Terrell Suggs tipped the scales at 283 pounds.

“It wasn’t just Popeye’s, it was also Kentucky Fried Chicken,” Suggs said. “It was also the cookies. You know, I did like the cookies. It was kind of a reward. When I started getting the weight down and I reached a certain goal it was like, ‘OK, you can have a cookie.’ She did a good job helping me, especially down the stretch.” –Guyism

It really is a sad state of affairs when you see someone get hooked on Popeye’s like that. While I’ve never had to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal, I’ve heard stories of how the aroma from just driving by a Popeye’s can drive the strongest of men mad. I’m almost positive that the ‘she’ he is referring to is Mrs. Fields. Funny, I always thought her to be a Steelers fan. Read the rest of this entry »

Washington Redskins owner and known football genius, Dan Synder, gave the conditioning test the ol’ college try, but much like his star defensive lineman, came up short. In a recent interview with Hogs Haven, Danny let the world know about the most grueling test he’s taken since the SATs.

In fact, Kevin and I went into the interview with zero intention of bringing up, for example, Albert Haynesworth. We felt it would be more newsworthy if we didn’t ask any Haynesworth questions. But sure enough, the first thing Dan asked us was if we came there to talk Haynesworth. We informed him of our decision to lay off the topic due to being completely tired of talking about it but there continues to be no escape from the subject. Since he brought it up, we asked him if he had passed the conditioning test.

DAN: First of all, it is hard. A couple years back, I tell London Fletcher I am going to run this thing. He gets me a pair of cleats and I go out there and try to do it. (laughing pretty hard) I am no athlete. London was just about peeing his pants he was laughing so hard at me as I dry-heaved. I felt like I was going to die. –Hogs Haven

Good to see that Dan can pal around with the guys on the team. Vinny Cerrato didn’t leave the team because of his piss poor performance, but because Dan Synder had his underwear run up a flag pole daily. Vinny could constantly be found crying in his office because the never ending barrage of wedgies left some painful chafing. Former NFL player and ESPN personality Mike Golic was able to finish the test in time, and he’s a fat dad with college age kids. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

This isn’t exactly news, but just like whenever we see your mom strung out on the floor in the garage, we still have to hit it. Victoria’s Secret supermodel and goat-lover baby momma, Gisele Bundchen, has made her stance on breast feeding known. I’d suggest you google it to find out more, but I’m almost positive that you’ve searched “Gisele Bundchen breast” many, many times.

Bundchen, one of the world’s most recognizable women, said ” … there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breast-feed their babies for six months.”

She recently amended her comments and said “my intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law,” it comes from my passion and beliefs about children.” –USA Today

It’s nice that Gisele loves her kids so much that she would publicly expose her breasts for them. It kind of makes me wish I was 20 years younger and just a sad, lost little boy. Gisele’s next mission in the field of public health should be taking on the obesity epidemic. If she took an “anti-fatty” stance, she could shut down every fast food restaurant in the country. Especially Arby’s. Gisele hates Arby’s. There’s a video of our new favorite breast feeder dancing in a bikini after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »