Lobster Dog was just as shocked as anyone when the Houston Texans selected Mario Williams.

Originally, I was going to put together a first round mock draft to pretend like I had any clue how the 2011 NFL Draft was going to unfold and thankfully I talked myself out of kidding myself. Besides, all I have time to do is worry about the Miami Dolphins selecting Christian Ponder with the 15th pick tonight. Seriously, if that happens I will fully endorse the lockout until he’s old enough to retire. But that’s the fun of the NFL Draft – speculation, worrying, complaining, crying, protesting, cursing, stamping feet, blaming girlfriends, threatening lives, hoping players are hit by buses. You know, all the best of the “in good fun” stuff.

Instead of making predictions so you all can call me wrong – or more wrong than usual – or trying to outbest the best in mock draft coverage at Kissing Suzy Kolber, I figured I’d collect the latest and last of the big first round rumors before this little fun party begins.

Read the rest of this entry »

*snicker*

Sports:

Yankees Accidentally Leak Personal Info Of Season Ticket Holders - George Costanza has accidentally leaked a spreadsheet containing account numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses for 20,000 Yankees fans. In a related story, the Pittsburgh Pirates have leaked a spreadsheet containing similar information for all six of their season ticket holders. One of them is Andy Van Slyke! [Deadspin]

2011 NFL Draft Choose Your Own Adventure - Way cooler and funnier than the one we did over at FanHouse, although I’m still terrible at these. I tried to draft Ras-I Dowling and was slain by a dwarf. [SB Nation]

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Ryan Mallett was putting together a solid pre-draft performance for NFL scouts, but apparently the former Arkansas quarterback just ran out of gas. After flying into Charlotte for an interview with the Carolina Panthers (who have the No. 1 pick in the upcoming draft) earlier this month, Ryan called them the following morning, saying that he was too sick to make it.

Complicating the matter is the fact sources said Mallett was seen out on the town late following the dinner. Off-field questions have followed Mallett every step of the process since he announced he was leaving school in January with eligibility remaining.

Mallett, who was arrested for public intoxication in March 2009, declined to answer questions from reporters about rumored drug use at the combine in February.

–National Football Post.

Mallett has been a bit of a question mark for scouts–a great pro prospect with terrific tools abutted with character issues–but honestly, blowing off that interview probably saved his NFL career. Who the hell would want to play for the Panthers? They have a new, defensive-minded coach in Ron Rivera, and they’ll basically be rebuilding that team. That’s like blowing off an interview at McDonald’s for that guy. Ryan Mallett might be a complete idiot, but he’s no dummy. UPDATE: Mallett’s agent says the quarterback was in bed by 10. Who to believe?

I don’t think there’s a bigger decision in college football player’s life than when to make the jump for the pros. We’ve seen great college players screw that decision up: Mike Williams and Maurice Clarett famously left too early, and Matt Leinart arguably stayed too late. So should a college player be allowed to declare for the draft, and then change his mind? One columnist says yes, he should.

Most of those guys, maybe all of those guys, have received the kinds of benefits from agents that would wreck NCAA eligibility. They’ve received cars or cash or clothes, or all the above. Letting them back on the college football team would be unprecedented. Big freaking deal.

Desperate times, people. Desperate times call for desperate actions, and this time here is desperate for most of those 56 young men. They left behind their college cocoon and entered a brave new world full of … nothing. No signing bonus. No paycheck.

No degree. No job. No money.

Gregg Doyel at CBS Sports points to the case of Dion Lewis, who started at running back for Pittsburgh for two years. Lewis made the decision to jump into the draft pool this year, despite having two more seasons of eligibility remaining. Read the rest of this entry »

There are few signs of failure as bright and as obvious as your life coach quitting on you. But there are so few practitioners of failure like former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell (not pictured). Two sources close to Russell told Yahoo!’s Jason Cole that former NBA coach John Lucas kicked Russell out of Houston.

“The title of your article should be, ‘It’s Over,’ ” the same source said. “It’s just amazing that you could say that about somebody who is 25 years old and just got drafted four years ago. But it’s been almost a year since he got cut and there’s no interest. Even before the lockout, nobody wanted to get near the kid.”

Russell, as the first overall pick in 2007, has to be the biggest bust in NFL history. In this day and age of super-scouting and other obsessive means of player evaluation, no first-overall pick has any business being out of the league in four years. None. But that’s JaMarcus, man. Dude just keeps lowering the bar.

We’re gonna roll out a couple more posts before we head out today, but first I want to address a question in the comments of this Cam Newton post. Fellow Leatherhead Sandra left this inquiry about the general grumpiness directed toward the former Auburn quarterback, with my emphasis added.

I am looking for a serious and well thought out argument outside of the usual regurgitated media stuff as to why Cam isn’t a good fit anywhere in the NFL but Blaine Gabbert is?

First of all, I never brought up Blaine Gabbert. Sandra did, which is annoying. It’s like when you rave about Five Guys and somebody chirps, “Yeah, but it’s not as good as In-N-Out.” Who mentioned In-N-Out? That’s not the point. The point is that an NFL team is going to make this decision–and bet millions of dollars in doing so. Sandra asks fair question, and though I don’t necessarily agree with its premise, let’s answer it. I WORK FOR YOU, PEOPLE. Read the rest of this entry »